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What
Makes Online Dating So Different?
by Jae Taylor
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What Makes
Online Dating So Different?
The concept
of finding a life partner with the help of the Internet is a fairly
recent concept when compared with the history of man kind as such.
Of course the internet and computers have influenced man’s life
so much that it is no surprise that in the matters of finding a
suitable partner too, the Internet has made its presence felt.
Online dating
is, to put is very simply or flatly, finding a partner with the
help of a machine namely the computer via the Internet. That itself
makes the idea and the process a very novel one indeed, Hundreds
of happy people across the globe have been successful in finding
suitable partners by the means of Online dating.
Everything that
applies to the Internet, applies to Online dating as well. The Internet
as we know allows for unlimited possibilities in communication,
and it is this feature that has proved to be at the same time the
biggest boon, as well as bane for Online dating.
People can start
from scratch and get to know everything about each other before
the actual meeting takes place. Tastes and preferences, likes and
dislikes, interests and obsessions can be discussed on a one to
one basis so that when the meeting actually takes place these two
people are not in the least strangers to each other. Wonderful,
isn’t it?
But at the same
time this possibility for unlimited communication leaves a lot of
space for guile as well. The human race is endowed with a remarkable
ability to use, misuse and abuse the same thing. And naturally,
Online dating too has been and is still being used for vile purposes.
The person who
is misusing this facility may either be a practical joker or may
be someone with more devious intentions who is out to get some victims.
It is because of this reason that a little bit of home work is good
before you actually hit the road.
The first tip
I would like to give you is NOT to go straight away into a singles’
chat room and try to find somebody who would interest you. All of
us know that most of such chat rooms are virtually flooded with
people who have only one thing on their mind - sex. So, no matter
what you ask for, it always ends up in that and the purpose is defeated.
You will never get the kind of person who kind of matches your interests
and tastes.
You have to
be on your guard all the time and keep constantly reminding your
self that the person you are chatting with is, after all a stranger
and a goodness-knows-what. The best thing that you could do is avoid
instant intimacy altogether.
It doesn’t really
matter if the other person finds you cold or reserved, you can easily
solve that by telling the other person that it takes sometime for
you to become comfortable with a person. That in fact is a good
quality because it is as good as saying, “Well, I’m sorry I’m not
the loose kind who plays around.”
4 Ways To
Tell If Someone Is Lying
- As discussed
earlier, we are not going to resort to singles’ chat rooms dedicated
specifically to online dating. Instead we will be in chat rooms
of specific interest. So one very effective way of finding out
if a person is lying would be to ask the person very pointed questions
about the area of interest. If the person fumbles or gives vague
answers then you do not have to waste your time on such a person.
- Another thing
that you could do is that from the moment you first make contact,
jot down whatever details the person chooses to reveal to you
and in subsequent encounters nonchalantly question the person
about the details, if there is a contradiction in the two details
then you can be as sure as pat that the person is lying.
- Ask the person
seemingly general questions but which in fact should have a very
definite purpose, for example ask the person what he or she is
looking for in such a relationship. Note down the answer. After
two or three encounters again repeat the question and see whether
the two answers match.
- You could
try pretending that you have chatted with the person before and
innocently ask the person if he or she is such and such person
(make something up) and try offering compliments to the person
like, “I really enjoyed chatting with you the other day. You were
perfectly charming–” and so on. If the person falls for cheap
flattery like this, then obviously he or she makes it a hobby
to chat with people under various identities.
And so the chatting
goes on until the person really grows on you. When you feel that
you can really trust the person, you may try giving the person your
telephone number. Remember that this too is a giant leap towards
building a relationship so it’s better that you be sure than sorry.
The safest thing
you can do about telephone numbers is to mutually exchange it preferably
at the same time, so that neither party is at a disadvantage. It’s
really no big deal, you can afford to tell the person that you are
just being wary, the person will understand. If he or she does not,
then there is a good chance that he or she will not understand a
lot of other things as well. In that case, dump the person.
by
Jae Taylor
About The
Author
Jae
Taylor
www.onlinedating-4u.com
An en expert in the field of communication, his focus is to help
women and men understand, respect and appreciate their differences.
On his website, he provides many resources that can effectively
lead to happiness and lasting romance.
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