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my boyfriend and porn

 
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irishheart
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Joined: 03 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:06 pm    Post subject: my boyfriend and porn Reply with quote

[color=red:b7d5ddaf0d][/color:b7d5ddaf0d] My BF and I have been together about 16 mos. So.....I am not totally against porn. I've looked at porn with my boyfriend....watched some videos, etc. Several times I've caught him looking at porn on my computer when I'm not around. (history, cookies, etc.) We discussed how it was hurtful to me....and we agreed to only look together...if ever. Yet again, I found that he's been looking. The most hurful part is that its always sites like "hot 18 yr olds...or nude teens" All legal and he explains that "mature" sites are women in their 30's....um...well, I just turned 30 (his argument is that I look like the girls on the 18 yr old sites) Anyway....wtf?? He's also a high school teacher which kinda weirds me out.... I feel like an old ball of unwanted goods when he scans porn sites...especially when the night before he's snoring after two minutes in bed with me laying there like....um...hello! I'm sure a guy looking at porn is normal....but I am so aggravated that he would look behind my back, try to cover it up, and all after he promised he wouldn't. I'm thinking of ending the relationship because basically I'm so disgusted that he went against his word to me all for a cheap thrill. Am I over reacting?
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plumberrygirl
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi yes, you are over reacting a little. Most guys look at porn and in reality it's a normal thing to do. It is better that he looks at porn rather than going to strip clubs to let other girls touch him. I used to have a problem with this too but I learned that the guy looking at porn does not mean he loves you any less--because guys look at porn [it's just what they do] and like I said, it doesn't mean their love for you is affected or lessened by the porn. It would weird me out too that he is watching 18 yr old porn and he is a highschool teacher.
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Princessa
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008
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Location: Canada

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:24 am    Post subject: You're not alone! Reply with quote

I have the same issue. All guys look at porn. I actually confronted my bf and asked if he was addicted to it because he looks at it often. I get offended when he looks at it secretively because I want him to be open about it and not keep it from me. I think because it bothers me it's like taboo to him. I didn't realize how much men looked at it until I met his friends.
My bf also has preferences, specific ethnicities, and yes the 18 year olds as well.
The truth is it's everywhere, in video stores, in bootleg stores, rental video stores, magazines, late night TV, strip clubs and the easiest access: the computer. The possibilities are endless and right at their finger tips so why wouldn't they look at it.
I thought it was because I wasn't enough, it's very crushing on the ego. I am still trying to work through it and be understanding because he is absolutely amazing in every other way, that is only a small flaw that could be just a phase. But if you can find a decent guy who never looks at porn good luck. Not to make you feel any ways but I'm sure all the teachers at the school check the girls. Us women check out the hot guys all the time, we are just more subtle about it and not as perverted and offensive.

Try and give it time, if it bothers you too much then maybe move on. Try to be comfortable with it or it will always play in your head. If you can't beat them join them. Just remember you have to be happy.
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quinnquinn
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:25 pm    Post subject: dating Reply with quote

Yes! Nice information that you have shared with us.
Thank you very much!
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