Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion
Share with us problems and questions regarding love relationship
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

In too deep

 
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index -> Love Advice
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
katf1988
Member
Member


Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:41 pm    Post subject: In too deep Reply with quote

Work with this guy who has a girlfriend, I wouldn't dream of trying anything with him while he has a girlfriend, but lately its really getting to me, I've only known him six months, but I can't imagine life without him now, He's all I think about, we argue like we are a couple and everyone thinks something is going on, but it isn't and he won't admit he has feelings for me which not being big headed he must cos of how he is with me, it's confusin, I feel like getting a different job but I know I'll never see him again and that thought makes me feel sick, I am confused, need help, can't talk to anyone I know because they'll just tell me the same things that I need get over him. Help please!
_________________
K.L.J
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
chrissibabez
Member
Member


Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can basically relate to this situation in some sort of manner. I should start by saying that I have been in a relationship for 3 years, and just within the last 6 months or so I've had doubts about the relationship. I used to be so sure that this relationship was it, that this was the man I was going to marry. However, I met a guy at work who has the most amazing personality. He is one of those guys that purposely comes over and publicly makes fun of me just to brighten up my day. He does that to everyone, but when he started doing this to me, I mouthed him right back and for some reason that completely attracted him to me. He said he's never met someone who really understood the sort of cocky, outgoing, sarcastic personality he has ans when I gave it right back to him he was shocked. Well, he then found out I had a boyfriend so he innocently continued but then I started to become completely attracted to him. To the point where I became distant in my current relationship and the guy at work and I began texting each other all the time and talked on the phone to each other once. I then tried to break up with my bf because I was so attracted to this guy and wanted to see if there was something there. I then regretted attempting to break up with him and everything got better and then again the guy at work and I began flirting intensively and I again tried to break up with my bf. This time I really did and then he told me that he had just purchased an engagement ring a few days earlier and he was completely devastated. Over the course of a few weeks we fixed things, and things were really great for about 2 months. The guy at work and I calmed our attraction and my relationship was going great. Then yesterday the attraction began to flare again. This time leaving us outside talking in his car for over 2 1/2 hours after our shifts had ended. I must say I was completely head over heels and went home in a puppy dog glazed mood. Although when I was with him my fiance had texted me and the guy from work could see the reaction on my face when I got it and then he started acting weird. I asked what was wrong and he said "this makes me uncomfortable" (which isn't surprising) so I tried to play it off like the text message wasn't from my bf and he calmed down and our conversation continued for about 45 minutes longer. So anyway, since then I've been texting him a lot because I'm really interested again (and I've even considered breaking off the engagement) but now every time I text the guy from work he doesn't answer or when he does it's like a one word answer. I think he got totally freaked out because he felt he let things get too far or that he allowed me to feel too attached. I have to say though I'm not willing to call off my engagement to see what will happen with a guy who is too scared to at least let me get to know him a little better before making such a move. I understand his fear, so I can't blame him... but it just sucks.


Anyway, sorry that was so long. Just wanted to give you the other side of the story. This might be how he is feeling. Hope this helps... As for me, I don't even know what I've gotten myself into. I really like this other guy and whenever things are flaring with him I have no interest whatsoever in my fiance. Confused
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
katf1988
Member
Member


Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanx, that could be how he is feeling, as for what you said if you are having these types of feelings then the relationship you are in now can't be right, if being with this guy from work really makes you not interested in ur fiance at the time then maybe you shouldn't be with him, even if you do break up with him and it doesn't go well with the guy at work, that can't be a reason for stayin with him
_________________
K.L.J
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
chrissibabez
Member
Member


Joined: 22 Nov 2008
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I completely agree. It's just that every time I do try to break up with him he makes me feel SO terrible and I feel so guilty that I try to make things work. I never used to have any doubts in my mind, but I honestly feel that by liking this other guy so much might just be me being selfish. I am young, and I've been with my fiance since I was 17, so I haven't experienced everything I feel I should have. Then again, it might just be my hormones... I don't know what to do...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
katf1988
Member
Member


Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you can't let him make you feel guilty, you have to be cruel to be kind, just tell him you won't let him guilt trip you into staying with him
_________________
K.L.J
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
sscutie
Member
Member


Joined: 09 Dec 2008
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

my advice for you is to talk to him and sort everything out with him...
_________________
Click the link to meet me
www.adultspace.com/sscutie4u
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
jcolles85
Member
Member


Joined: 26 Dec 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just want to say that I have been in chrissibabez's position and it is not easy. I had broken up with my bf of 4 years in the exact same scenario and it was the biggest mistake of my life. What I felt for the new guy I met at work seemed so real and enticing but ended up being nothing like my bf and I had. I let my selfish curiosity get in the way of my true feelings for my bf. I was young as well and wondered if there was something more out there, something I haven't found yet. But in reality I had everything I wanted, a great bf who treated me awesome and loved me. I tried to reconcile with him but he rejected. Special people only come around so often and true love is even rarer. I deeply miss what I had. I'm not the kind of girl to tell anyone else how to live their life but after what I went through I try to share with people what I learned the hard way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
maynardblack
Member
Member


Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 4
Location: Seattle

PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with sscutie. Talk to him and see if he really is interested in you. He has a girlfriend, so it's a pretty delicate situation. I doubt that you want to be "the other woman" in any sort of way, so just talk to him.

If he really is interested in you, then maybe you can move forward from there. What it sounds like is that he is having doubts about his relationship, but doesn't have the guts to leave the person that he's with.

Far too many people are in relationlships because they are afraid of the alternative. Fear, is no reason to be in a relationship, yet it's the main reason that so many people stay.

The other issue is that he obviously doesn't have his act together. So even if he does leave his girlfriend for you, you could be in the same place as her after a few years. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't know what they want?

I know you're "in love" with him, but you might want to think about working past this, and finding someone who knows what they want and has their "stuff" together.
_________________
Maynard Black
www.elovelesson.com
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index -> Love Advice All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

HomePage | Love Articles | Dating Services | Love Calculator | Feng Shui Modern Living | Art of Feng Shui


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group