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I could not forget my ex. girlfriend

 
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herodestroyer
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:47 pm    Post subject: I could not forget my ex. girlfriend Reply with quote

Its been 7 years since my first girlfriend broke up with me...since then we have been living our separate lives and moved on...to be honest we still have our communication intact until now and we are really good friends...but beyond that...I still care for her..bigtime!..and everytime I see her or talk to her...I feel different...uneasy..happy but nervous...its like a bomb in my chest preparing to blow...its just like I dont want it to end when i'm with her...but she does'nt know that..because i've been keeping it to myself...I'm afraid that I will lose our friendship if i told her that I still love her...and I dont want that to happen...but its really hard to hide your true feelings when I'm with her...and it hurts a lot when I see her dating other guys...but I have to show her that its ok...I know it is not healthy but it just the way it is...I still love her...damn

what do you think? Confused Confused
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Surrwin
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have the same thing with one of my ex-GF. I think it is only natural as human beings to be this way. You can't share a special time with someone and then not feel anything for them later. If you see in the future that maybe she is showing some feelings toward you then I think you should tell her. Maybe she is still holding feelings for you too. May I ask who broke it off in the last relationship?
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herodestroyer
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

she broke up with me...and I did'nt make her back...stupidiest thing I ever did...a total regret..
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jcolles85
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 8:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know what you mean. I messed up with my bf of 4 years and broke up with him for someone else. When I realized my mistake and tried to get back with him he rejected me. We still travel in some of the same circles and see each other. It's really tough because I see him with a girl once in a while and how he is with them and get really depressed because that used to be me. I just want to go to him and say "I love you, take me back" but it is too late for me Sad
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herodestroyer
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah your right...its very hard to admit that you still feel the same way for your ex but you can't say a damn thing when your in front of her.. Sad
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maynardblack
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chances are, she knows that you still have feelings for her.

You mentioned that she has been dating other guys, but have you? Have you been with any other women when she's around?

Jealousy is a powerful emotion and is extremely difficult to hide. If she still has feelings for you, if you bring another woman around her, you'll be able to tell.

The other issue here is that you seem extremely heart-broken. When men are heart-broken, we're pretty transparent and it tends to come across in just about everything we do. We lose confidence and we stop loving and respecting ourselves.

The main thing that you need to do is focus on you. Make sure that you've got yourself together, because that's when you're going to be the most attractive to her. Make sure that you're confident and sure of yourself.

Once you've got yourself taken care of, you can start putting yourself in the best position to get her back. Right now you're just a friend, and once you're there, it's really hard to get out. So you'll have to work hard at making yourself more than that. I know it might seem impossible right now, but people get back together all the time, no matter how long it's been. I've seen couples get back together after 10 and 20 years.

There are a few minor things that you can do to start the process. Start by not hanging out with her and talking to her as much. I'm not saying cut things off completely, just cut it down. Seem like you're busy when she calls you. When she asks to get together, schedule a different time than she suggests. End all conversations on your terms, leave her wanting more. Don't stay on the phone for hours on end, or hang out with her to the point where you're bored. Hang out with her for a short time, pack as much fun as you can into that time, then leave. Have other plans. Date other women. Don't make yourself so available.

Right now she probably doesn't see you as desirable because she probably thinks she can get your attention whenever she needs it. If you start being less available, you'll be more and more attractive to her.

This reply is getting long, but that's just a start. I know it's a really tough place to be in, but if you don't start immediately, you're going to wind up watching her marry someone else. Don't let yourself get to that point.
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