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Privacy Violation/Signs of a Cheater?

 
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fluffy23
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Joined: 22 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 10:23 am    Post subject: Privacy Violation/Signs of a Cheater? Reply with quote

Okay so heres my question. I'm 21 years old, my boyfriend of 4 months is 25. I've been cheated on in pretty much every relationship so obviously I have some trust issues. With him though its been different. From the start I've trusted him. Hes extremely blunt and honest like me; doesn't really care who he offends. At times it can be painful but I rather the truth! The other day we were together and I asked him to pull up his email because I sent him this picture and wanted him to see. I sat on his lap/was leaning on him while we went on the computer so i mean he was right there with me the whole time (i was in control of the mouse). I opened his email after he typed in his password and in the email below mine was an email that said "Re: Wink " Just by instinct i clicked on it because I knew it was a response to an email he had sent with some stupid winky face. In this email i quickly saw his email to her. Turns out they have had class together and "hooked up" over the summer. He sent her a flirty email and when I asked him what it meant he said it meant that if he wasn't with me he wouldnt mind "tagging" her again. I proceeded to say fine don't let me stop you. Obviously I know guys are guys and think about other girls. BUT to let one know your still interested but the fact your in a relationship (which i never pressured him to get into with me) is the only reason stopping you is way over the line in my opinion. I think its wrong on many elements and really makes me wonder why we're even together. He said it was just innocent flirting and seems sort of sorry; only after the fact he could tell I wanted to break up with him. I can't stop thinking about it and it really makes me feel like I lost some trust in him. He didn't actually cheat on me, but that whole thing really bothers me. He told me I'm crazy, that I'm the best GF he's ever had, and to stop worrying because he'd never cheat on me. Aside from this, whenever I bring it up he gets extremely mad that I opened that email. He said that I display "psychotic tendencies" so hes "scared down the road" i could be a psycho. Whatever. Alright so it was wrong for me to click on it, I've told him this and I understand. Psycho? Is that jumping the gun or do I just not get it? Also, he has left his bags in my room before, forgotten to log off his email, even left his cell phone for days at my place. I never once felt the urge to go through any one of these items. I had every chance but I had no reason to. I trust(ed) him. I don't really know if I feel the email thing was a violation of privacy because he was sitting right with me. I feel I'm so far from a snoop...I think most any other girl in my situation would have gone through his stuff at all these other times. I'm still considering breaking it off because I'm just nervous this is the first step towards infidelity. I don't deserve to go through that again. The fact that he not only thinks about having sex with other girls but has made it known to at least one girl bothers me. So, Am I overreacting? Do you feel l violated his privacy or is he just trying to make the problem seem like my fault?!
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lesser
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Joined: 13 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

privacy or no privacy - you have understood about the flirt. my advice is to not talk about it again. these conversations are always painful. just have it in mind and if the time comes - dump him first before he trashes your dignity
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lovebuggrc03
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Joined: 22 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guys always seem to have a way to throw things back in your face, even if it wasn't your fault to begin with. The fact that he is saying you might have psychotic tendencies is completely ridiculous. Maybe this is his way of putting the situation back on you so he doesn't have to face the real situation which is the flirty email. Do you think it could be a guilty conscience?
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pedro_9k6k
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Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 4:26 pm    Post subject: Dating Reply with quote

Yeah! I am with you and wishing you for great time!
All the best!
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