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How do I discourage my gf from meeting my parents?

 
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HUNTER2621
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Joined: 19 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 5:25 am    Post subject: How do I discourage my gf from meeting my parents? Reply with quote

Normally, I wouldn't have anything against my girlfriend wanting to meet my parents, however, I know for a fact my parents won't accept her (because of race) and I don't want to subject her to that. At the same time, our relationship is pretty serious and being that this is the case, I don't want to scare her off by telling her the truth so I feel a little torn right now and I don't know what to do. Should I just be honest with her and explain the situation? What do you guys think?
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Princessa
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 10:44 am    Post subject: Meeting your parents... Reply with quote

Absolutely be honest!! But before you do have you considered sitting down and discussing with your parents about your choice and your relationship? I think if you have a mature talk with your parents perhaps it will give them time to let it sink in before they meet her. Let your parents know you are happy and you would appreciate their support. I can understand how much your parents respect and values mean to you but sometimes you have to prove to your parents that they cannot control who you love and your decisions in life. It is also up to you to educate your parents about race and culture positively.
I think if you sit down and have a mature discussion with your girlfriend to at least tell her what the situation is, maybe she has some ideas on how to ease your parents about her. Ask her if she has experienced this issue before or knows anyones who has. Tell her how your parents were raised and their old fashion ways and how in their time they were not exposed to so much culture or why they wouldn't understand. Perhaps look up articles about how other couples deal with race and let her know you support who she is and you are willing to stand by her. You don't want to spring on your girlfriend that you haven't even told you parents about her so bring it up to your parents first and get their reaction so you can prepare her and you can deal with it together.
I know you don't want to go against your parents will, but you have to be prepared for the worst. You can't keep her a secret forever and you can't keep making up excuses for not introducing her to your parents. I think if you ask your parents for their support and how much you appreciate it, it kind of lets them know you have made up your mind.
I wish the best for you.
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JV1189
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honesty is a must. You can't hide that fact forever, and if it is a game buster better now then later. Hopefully she can understand and if she can't remember that is her bad not yours. Hope this helps
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