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How do you work with someone you've fallen in love with?

 
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welshmat31
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Joined: 08 Aug 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:02 pm    Post subject: How do you work with someone you've fallen in love with? Reply with quote

I have just started a new job in the last few weeks, and for the first time in years I don't wake up each day dreading going to work. I have finally found somewhere I enjoy working, and with people who I enjoy working with. Reading that it seems like everything should be great, and in most ways it is. BUT, and yes it is a big but, there is someone who works there who day by day I can feel myself falling more and more in Love with. Now I'm not looking for advice on how to ask her out etc, I only need to look at her, then look at me, and it's easy to see I'm not the kind of guy that would interest her. She is gorgeous, caring, always has a smile, no mater how bad a day she is having, I'm far from what you would call good looking. I'm more the kind of guy that is a great friend, good fun to be around, but not someone who you would want to date. The advice I'm looking for is a way to put these feelings I have for her out of my mind, before she finds out how I feel. As I said earlier I really enjoy working here, and I don't want to have to leave because she finds out how I feel, and it ends up creating a bad atmosphere at work. Hope someone can help me.
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fun-gal
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sad to hear that. Wouldn't you be confident and just give yourself a chance? Looks are not everything.
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scorpio
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Joined: 02 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 6:19 am    Post subject: How do you work with someone you've fallen in love with? Reply with quote

Well that's nothing wrong with falling in love with someone, nothing ashamed to feel about...

Yes you might be able to hide your feeling from others but are you sure you can lie to yourself, welshmat? Unknowingly, you might be creating just yet another bad atmospehere, stuck between love & work. Will you be happy then? Instead of avoiding, why not face it graciously. No matter what, the fact is that she will be there. It's not really possible to just get her out of your mind. But to accept her as a colleague or a friend, I suppose you can?

You were saying that you are the kind of guy that is a great friend, good fun to be around right, welshmat? Then be a great colleague and friend you shall! A great working environment start with great colleagues and friends.

It's natural for one to somehow develop a liking for the opposite sex and this is very common among friends, group of friends. Just let nature take its course. I sincerely believe you can be a great colleague and friend, Welshmat. A happy working environment? It's your choice... Well whatever will happen we wouldn't know. But just a little word of advice, look is not everything. To survive the passage of time it will not be, but a heart of gold will live forever Wink
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frolic angel
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Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 5:24 pm    Post subject: How do you work with someone you've fallen in love with? Reply with quote

you know what welshmat31, im dealing with the same issue right now..
the only difference is that he became my boyfriend for a short period of time.. i still like this guy even if we're not together anymore and right now he was transferred to our department and i get to see him once a week..

what i do is that everytime i see him.. i just focus on my work.. i just consider him as an inspiration..you know, it gives me a reason to wake up everyday, go to the office and do the things i normally do.. i talk to my friends in the office.. i spend time with them so that i wont be able to think of him.. i make sure that even if he's there the feelings that i have for him wont affect my work.. i know its hard but you can do it.. Wink
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iamursh25
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Joined: 13 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

no guts no glory welshmat31! you don't know for sure if she likes you or not, right? don't put down yourself. i'm not saying also that you go for her now. just play it cool first. be friends and get to know each other. show her that your intentions are good and then make your move. the possibilities are endless. Smile
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 3:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well said, iamursh25. Yes, possibilities are endless... you never know what will come next and again if you never try, you never know...

And btw, frolic angel, it is glad to know that you are treating things positively... Hmm.... anyway just a little thought here... hope you won't feel affected by it. Fate is sometimes just a very funny thing and that you both actually ended up in the same department... well, you know... I was just thinking anything could possibly happen... and if things really happen, you do what you have to do yeah? Remember if you never try, you never know...

Ok, think I shall stop be nosey here Wink
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missingu
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Joined: 18 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:04 pm    Post subject: i'm feelin ya Reply with quote

i am in this same situation at the moment.I work with someone and they're driving me crazy. i can't stop thinking about them. whenever he's around i focus on my work or i talk to him just about anything at all which i have never really been able to do with anyone else i liked. I understand what you're going through. Just try be calm, i know it's hard but when i freak out i just think to myself he won't bite. works everytime.
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Xplaya369
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Joined: 28 Oct 2006
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Location: Florida

PostPosted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 12:24 am    Post subject: Take a Look Reply with quote

Ok not trying to be funny. But Change Get better looking, no joke. If you want to look better, not just for her but for any girl, change your looks. Have you seen some show like made and other junk. They change some nerdy girl or guy who no one talks to, into homecomming king or queen. Anything is possible. Need any advice msg me.
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chivalrous incarnate
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Joined: 01 Nov 2006
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Location: irving TX

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, love in your job...hey everyone said true things, go up to her one day and ask her out, BE YOURSELF!!!!!, you dont need to change because you dont know, she knows who you are or had a good picture of you, and you dont want to look like a poseur or a fake...( that considering me, being a poseur has scar me for the rest of my life) but yeah being in love is alot better than living in suspense and hopefullness, youre not a loser if you get a shut down, so Its time to play russian roulette with love
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