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bad at being romantic

 
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girlwithaplan
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Joined: 07 Nov 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 10:19 pm    Post subject: bad at being romantic Reply with quote

hello.

i am a twenty-three year old woman who sucks at being romantic which wouldn't matter much except i recently started dating a very nice boy who is romantic and whose feelings i've hurt when i misread an attempt to be sweet as an attempt to be funny. i am good at conversation, flirting, anything and everything else except this sweet stuff. i hadn't realized it until now, but i think my major problem in relationships has always been a difficulty with handling a genuinely nice guy with a romantic streak. for a long time i couldn't figure out why a guy i'd gotten along really well with would suddenly act hurt and jet after hanging out a few times and the a-holes have always hung around past their expiration date...i have an over-developed sense of humor and an under-developed sense of romantic.

not to get all psycho-dramatic, but i think the problem is that i had a rough childhood, though you wouldn't know it looking at me, and there is a perpetual rain of problems falling around me still as an adult. i think i learned young, how to be tough and there really wasn't a lot of tenderness in my life growing up. my point is not to ask for pity but to emphasize how very little i understand about dealing with nice boys. i mean i don't know how to let someone be nice and don't know how to express emotional attachment.

so what's probably too much background info for a problem that probably isn't that big with this new guy (yet): what can i do to be subtley romantic with him? how should i respond when he does something nice (just say thank you? that feels so ridiculous)??????

i know this is kind of a stupid question. but any insight is appreciated. i'm really not a mean or abrasive person. but i think i give off a defensive vibe. and i'm tired of just being "that good time" to a not-so-nice-guy.
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lilcupid
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Joined: 22 Sep 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When someone I am with does something sweet I most of the time will give him a kiss and a hug and say thank you....the smallest of gestures can mean so much!! It shows that you care and appreciate everything he does for you Smile
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aimeefriedland
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Joined: 08 Dec 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

you could take a course in being romanticc! no joke theres shit lyke that out there these days....i took one.
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alexis
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Joined: 05 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:12 pm    Post subject: Re:bad at being romantic Reply with quote

hi girlwithaplan.,.,.,
What are you says..,.,.
I can/t understand,.,.,.
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plumberrygirl
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Joined: 07 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha...my significant other has a hard time being romantic too. He acts very distant sometimes but I think that's just the way he is and it doesn't mean that he does not love, right? I dunno. Did you love that guy? Do you feel that you are able to fall in love, or no?

You can be romantic by being a little more touchy on the physical stuff like being cuddly, or hugging, kissing, etc. Try to be a warm person and show them that you care<---that's the best advice I can give you. Humor is a great thing, but if you want to be romantic too, you're going to have to learn how to balance it out. Maybe when a nice guy will approach you again you can try to take his love seriously and not think of it as a joke. Not all guys are assholes...every person is different, so it doesn't mean you have to be so cautious with all of them. Relax a little and let your heart do its job in being 'romantic.' Hahaha. Try to discover a new side of you that you haven't experienced yet, because being romantic and experiencing romance can be one of the best feelings ever. Try it out for yourself! Smile

I know your childhood has affected the amount of romanticism you express, but it doesn't hurt to try and change a bit and try something new...it could be a positive change for you.

goodluck
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alexis
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 3:47 pm    Post subject: Re: bad at being romantic Reply with quote

[quote:002fcfc7b3="girlwithaplan"]hello.

i am a twenty-three year old woman who sucks at being romantic which wouldn't matter much except i recently started dating a very nice boy who is romantic and whose feelings i've hurt when i misread an attempt to be sweet as an attempt to be funny. i am good at conversation, flirting, anything and everything else except this sweet stuff. i hadn't realized it until now, but i think my major problem in relationships has always been a difficulty with handling a genuinely nice guy with a romantic streak. for a long time i couldn't figure out why a guy i'd gotten along really well with would suddenly act hurt and jet after hanging out a few times and the a-holes have always hung around past their expiration date...i have an over-developed sense of humor and an under-developed sense of romantic.

not to get all psycho-dramatic, but i think the problem is that i had a rough childhood, though you wouldn't know it looking at me, and there is a perpetual rain of problems falling around me still as an adult. i think i learned young, how to be tough and there really wasn't a lot of tenderness in my life growing up. my point is not to ask for pity but to emphasize how very little i understand about dealing with nice boys. i mean i don't know how to let someone be nice and don't know how to express emotional attachment.

so what's probably too much background info for a problem that probably isn't that big with this new guy (yet): what can i do to be subtley romantic with him? how should i respond when he does something nice (just say thank you? that feels so ridiculous)??????

i know this is kind of a stupid question. but any insight is appreciated. i'm really not a mean or abrasive person. but i think i give off a defensive vibe. and i'm tired of just being "that good time" to a not-so-nice-guy.[/quote:002fcfc7b3]


your story is very critical ,see concentrate on your target ,and try to achieve it
instead it ,i have no any knowledge bye
and ALL the BEST
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