Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion
Share with us problems and questions regarding love relationship
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

He loves me/He loves me not. An inquiry of male interest

 
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index -> Love Advice
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Valyntine1020
Member
Member


Joined: 04 Oct 2007
Posts: 1
Location: Houston, TX

PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:55 pm    Post subject: He loves me/He loves me not. An inquiry of male interest Reply with quote

I'm going to try and not write a novel here, but this will probably be long so for that, I apologize.

I've been getting some conflicting advice and opinions about a man I'm seeing and I was hoping some of you might have solid views on the subject.

Here's the scenario:

Friday night, I was supposed to meet a girlfriend at a local bar, however, after arriving she called and told me she wasn't going to be able to make it. Since I was already there, I decided to make the most of it and have a couple of drinks on my own. I will say right off the bat, I'm kind of not into the dating scene. I was married at age 21 to my college sweetheart and he was killed about a year and a half ago. Because of this, I've been laying low and I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm 24, however and I feel like I'm too young to give it up completely!

In any case, after about 15 minutes a man that I was not attracted to in the least sat down next to me and attempted to chat me up. I made nice with him and we shared a bit of small talk. In the meantime, I noticed a very nice looking man across the bar who kept catching my eye.

After a few more minutes of agonizing conversation with the man seated to my right, he decided he needed a bathroom break and excused himself. At this point, the man across the bar made his way to my end and introduced himself. He told me his name is Mike and we chatted about music (we're both musicians) and he told me a bit about his job. He asked about my family, how long I had lived in the area, etc. etc.

I found him funny and quite engaging and enjoyed his company. When the bar closed, he invited me to a (very) early breakfast at Ihop with him and a friend of his. I agreed to go, he bought me some pancakes and a chocolate milk and we had a great time. He invited me back to his place from the restaurant but I declined telling him that I would love to get together another time. We exchanged numbers and went our seperate ways.

Now, I do remember from when I dated that you almost never hear from a guy the day after you give him your number so I was very surprised to hear from him the next morning around 11 am. He asked me if I wanted to come over and eat some pizza and watch a movie. I went, and it was nice. We made out a little, but I put on the brakes before things got too steamy. Call me crazy, but I just can't get that physical after seeing someone twice.

The next day, he sent me several text messages asking what I was doing that night, if I had eaten yet, etc. etc. I told him that I had no plans and then I didn't hear from him again. Finally, I told him that I was going to grab some sushi later and if he wanted to come, he was welcome to. Now, I don't know....I hate doing that. I hate asking guys out. I know a lot of people say that it's fine...but even more people say that a woman should never do that and I honestly don't like to. Why? I don't know....I guess I just feel like, if he wanted to go to dinner with me, he would have asked.

Anyway, he met me for sushi and we had a few drinks and chatted. However, if felt to me like he had no attraction for me whatsoever. Which was weird, because the night before he seemed like he liked me a lot. When we were done at the restaurant, I made my way to my car to go home, but he flagged me down right before I left and asked if I was going to come back to his apartment. I agreed and away we went.

Once back at his place, it was more of the same. He didn't look at me, didn't touch me, etc. etc. Finally, I told him that I needed to go home and I admit, I pretty much rushed out. I was bummed out how the night had went and basically knew I wasn't going to hear from him again. I got to my car and much to my annoyance, I started to cry a little bit. I hate getting emotional over something so silly, but that's exactly what happened. After my little cry in the car, I realized that I had forgotten my favorite necklace in his apartment and had to wipe my eyes and go back to get it.

He opened the door with a huge grin on his face and said he was glad I came back. I told him I had forgotten the necklace and he went to get it for me. When he came back with it, he asked me what was wrong and invited me in to talk about it.

I ended up telling him that while I liked him, I didn't feel like he was that into me...and while that was totally ok with me and I understood, it sucked a little bit. He asked if I was looking for a more serious relationship, and I said no, I wasn't....but I wasn't looking for a "friend with benefits" either. In any case, he listened and was very nice, but he didn't deny anything I said either. He made no reassurance to me that he liked me, but he never said that he didn't either.

Much to my surprise, he called me the next day (Monday) and asked me to go have dinner and see a movie with him. I declined simply because I felt like continuing to date this guy would be a complete waste of time. Later that night, I spoke with a male friend of mine who told me that I was too hard on him and that I should give him another shot. After I got off the phone with my friend, Mike called me back and asked if I would consider seeing him on Tuesday and I agreed.

Tuesday however, was more of the same. I was beginning to wonder if this guy just considered me a friend...except for how much he liked making out with me...which we were doing a lot of at this point. Am I setting my standards too high when I say that I want a guy that likes ME as much as he likes kissing me? Unfortunately, I really like HIM....ugh the saga continues...

I went home that night very annoyed. I took a bath, drank 2 glasses of wine, smoked cigarettes and read "He's Just Not That Into You" for like, the hundredth time and swore to myself that unless this guy contacted ME and basically begged me to go out with him again, I was completely done.

The next day (yesterday) I received a couple text messages from him, but they were extremely non committal, so I did not return them. Eventually, he asked what I was doing that night and I said that I had no definite plans. I didn't hear from him again after that, so I made plans with a friend and we head out to a bar to spend the evening.

On our way there, I received a text from Mike and he asked me if I wanted to meet him at the bar I was already on my way to. I told him we would be there in a few minutes.

When I got there, I was floored by his actions. He stood up and walked to meet me when I came in, kissed me in front of all his friends and told me how gorgeous I looked. He then introduced himself to my girlfriend and made a place for us at his table. He put his arm around me and kept it there for the rest of the night and continuously kissed me, tucked my hair behind my ears and massaged my neck throughout the entire evening.

Seriously....I was thinking to myself "Ok, who the hell is this guy?" Why the sudden 180? Am I missing something? This is the same guy that would barely even look at me the night before. It was like the twilight zone.

Anyway, we had a fabulous time and I realized why I liked him again. It was great!

However....before I left to go home, he invited me out to a karaoke bar with him and his friends....and you know what? Haven't heard from him all day. Nothing.

Amazing, right?

I honestly don't know what to think. If he's not into me, then why on earth does he keep asking me out? And if he IS into me, then why the conflicting signals? I don't get it!

I hope some of you can shed some light on this. I'm so sorry for the length and thank you ahead of time for any advice you can give me!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
clueless24
Member
Member


Joined: 15 Oct 2007
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

valyntine 1020,

i am in the same situation as you are in right now, but not that intense. it seems like he is interested in you, but why the spontaneous cold shoulders? i dont know...maybe he is trying to see how you feel about him, to see if you are interested in him. i know it's difficult to ask a guy out (i am not able to do it either, or else i wont be in this stupid situation), but it seems like he has been trying and maybe feels like he's not getting the response that he wants from you. maybe you can ask him to do something sometimes or talk to him to see what he's looking for in a relationship...i think it's a good time to get to know him better, maybe open up to him a little bit...dont ask me how to go about doing it...i have no freaking idea... Rolling Eyes but good luck though, hope it works out well.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Maya
Member
Member


Joined: 28 Jan 2008
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 4:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We can't read his mind of course so could be mistaken, but it sort of seems like it may at least be considerable that he is trying to see how far he can get with you sexually.

You mention you are doing a lot of kissing but beyond that, in the more "committal" areas, he falls short. He may want to see if he can take it beyond the kissing & that is why he keeps asking you out.

Perhaps he was being surprisingly super affectionate to you to around his friends for egotistical reasons, and/or he'd had a few drinks & loosened up in that way...

Usually when there is a consistent "hot-cold" situation, something is off. He was also not clear with you about his feelings when you mentioned to him very straight that you liked him but weren't sure how he felt. He didn't say a word regarding his own feelings related to that. When someone truly likes someone, what you said would be the perfect "in" for them to tell exactly that to the other, & it would make the most sense that they would take the opportunity.

Being that you like him - I'm hoping there is another explanation to this that he will share some time, that works more in your favor...

Best wishes to you...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Botty
Member
Member


Joined: 27 Aug 2009
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:37 pm    Post subject: my personal opinion Reply with quote

hi,

my personal opinion is i think that hes being hot and cold to see if you like him. him not showing that much intrested in you is proberly because he wants to see if you'll chase him, if you chase him a little he'll know you like him, maybe thats why hes doing it?

i dont know but whats i think.

hope it helps? Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
chalotdatche
Member
Member


Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Posts: 31

PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

maybe the guy likes you but is not ready for commitment that's why conflicting signals had been made... he wants you but there's something blocking like to become serious is quite heavy for him to do but i guess in time he will... he likes you.
_________________
http://www.cebuanas.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
linda7333
Member
Member


Joined: 25 Sep 2009
Posts: 13

PostPosted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://stores.shop.ebay.co.uk/Selenes-Spells I split up with my boyfriend last week. I tried one
of selenes loves spells and after two days we are back togeher.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
linda7333
Member
Member


Joined: 25 Sep 2009
Posts: 13

PostPosted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://stores.shop.ebay.co.uk/Selenes-Spells I split up with my boyfriend last week. I tried one
of selenes loves spells and after two days we are back togeher.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index -> Love Advice All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

HomePage | Love Articles | Dating Services | Love Calculator | Feng Shui Modern Living | Art of Feng Shui


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group