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I live in Australia, he lives in America
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lilcupid
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:08 pm    Post subject: I live in Australia, he lives in America Reply with quote

Ahhh just the fact that I have resorted to seeking advice from strangers states
a) I am so confused it's not funny and b) maybe I have lost the plot??? lol

I need some advice (of course). For about a year now I have talked online to someone who I met through myspace. It started off as a "every now and then send a message" at first, and slowly became more regular. He would seek relationship advice from myself and vice-versa. Not once did it cross my mind when I first started talking to him that he and I would click the way we do. It's hard to explain but I could always tell exactly how he was feeling etc when we talked, without being told. About 5 months after we started chatting on regular basis he joked about me one day visiting America. A couple of weeks later he bought it up again and said if I wanted to he would pay for my flight over.
That was 7 months ago....1 month ago I did fly over there. He and I had become every close. We would talk all the time while he was at work, on the phone at least 2 times a month. I never believed you could seriously truly know someone when you talk to them online. I knew I would be safe because I had spoken to a couple of his friends who confirmed most of the things i knew about him so that kinda ruled out the "he might be an axe murderer" lmao factor.
While I was there the connection I was trying to deny before I flew over was very present. If I could have stayed there forever I would have been happy to but sadly after 8 days it was time to come back to reality and come home.
After arriving home I rang him. On the phone he admitted he had cried the day after I had left. Was missing me. He mentioned his Mum commented that I was so suited to him, and could see how much we connected. I confessed I had feelings for him as did he.
Now....nearly 4 weeks later I am feeling so lost, sad and confused. A few days ago I wrote him an email on myspace which was pretty deep. Something I was scared to send but knew it was killing me inside. He replied not long after stating he had had a long day, was really sorry but would read the whole email properly when he got the chance and was missing me. That was 2 days ago.....still no reply. In the email I basically said if I am holding onto these feelings and he doesn't feel the same to tell
me and I will never mention it again. I kinda mentioned maybe moving over there (which he actually talked about on the phone when I got back to OZ) so we could get to know each other properly and also for the experience of working in another country. Now I am wondering if he is a) scared to say "hey, I care about you but I don't want that" or b) his now thinking I am nut lol and thats why it's taking so long to respond.

Should i send another email asking for his answer, wait, or just forget about him and move on? I honestly can say I have never ever ever felt a connection that strongly before.
Oh and Ps..his 33 years old and I am 29
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He has your email, let him email you. It's when a girl is not too pushy that better things start happening. Girl, can't you play a little hard to get?
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lilcupid
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol I seriously suck at those kinda games!!!
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, come on. What is with you women? Don't make it so darn easy for a guy.
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mama
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brandon! Love isnt about playing hard to get but avout beign true and showing oyur love!
What is it about guys that they want girls to play hard to get??
Love isnt a game, it is a true emotion, somehting real and precious.
So any girl could play hard to get on oyu, even she dont love you or even dispise you, and oyu will run after her? is that it?
Someoen told me to do that to you. But I cant. It is blasphemy to manipulate love that way.
If it works on you hten oyu have to ask yourself if it is love you are after or the thrill to be rejected, so to can run after.. because if its that, it isnt love, but a serious need to see a psychiatrist and get cured form a past trauma you are rebuilding throught oyur love life.
I think you should do what you feel is the right thing to do.

Of course guys are guys. but seriously Brandon, is that true?
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lilcupid
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fact is I can't stand games. I totally understand where your coming from, and will use your advice but there is a fine line between doing what right and just playing mind games to get what you want. I was raised to be honest. Maybe thats my down fall? Who knows. But I am a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve
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mama
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, me too. You are right. I think it is realy sad that it has to be that way, and that the honnest and pure heart get rejected for mind games players.. And men are surprised that their heart get broken when they go for that kind of things. They shouldnt be surprised a tall! Thats what they ask for.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't wear your heart on you sleeve, hun. Most likely you will get hurt more than you want to. Got to have a little backbone and stand your ground, or guys will see right through this and hurt you. I like the fact that you want to be honest. I'm being honest too, love. You have to show guys that you will not take their sh**, that you won't stand for it. Let them know this right from the start, darlin, it may save you a lot of heart break.
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mama
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And how do oyu do that??!!
If you are being honnest, then tell me. tell me about all those things oyu odnt want to tell me. Be honnest with me. Show me some sincerity.
oh, no here. but you know you can. or at least that you have to.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wasn't playing mind games here when I said don't email him and let him email you. Why should girls do all the work to get a man, huh?
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lilcupid
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trust me, I may wear my heart on my sleeve lol but I don't take a lot of shit.
I do realize I need to let guys chance me more. I am impatient I admit that! But I also know my worth lol. Sounds arrogant but any guy would be lucky to have me. Facts are I have become much fussier as I get older. I won't settle for second best. Sounds strange but you have actually made me realize more
then you know! Thanks!!!! xoxo
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mama
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:343a4381b8="Brandon"]I wasn't playing mind games here when I said don't email him and let him email you. Why should girls do all the work to get a man, huh?[/quote:343a4381b8]

I agree with that. but some men are stupid, they work for what they will never get like slave, and are blind for the real thing.
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mama
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thats good cupid, sounds like oyu got back your selfconfidence.
Thats a very good thing to do.
Tell him just that, that he should be lucky to have you, it might get him back to the starters! Laughing
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lilcupid
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lmao I'm not going to say that to him....any man would run from a chick saying that!! If a guy said that to me I seriously would be turned off. I will let him come to me. If he doesn't it's his loss
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:4ea3dc53a8="lilcupid"]Trust me, I may wear my heart on my sleeve lol but I don't take a lot of shit.
I do realize I need to let guys chance me more. I am impatient I admit that! But I also know my worth lol. Sounds arrogant but any guy would be lucky to have me. Facts are I have become much fussier as I get older. I won't settle for second best. Sounds strange but you have actually made me realize more
then you know! Thanks!!!! xoxo[/quote:4ea3dc53a8]


Good ! Smile YOU GO, GIRL !! Laughing

P.S. Don't ever and I mean "EVER' let a man man handle you or make you feel like you are nothing compared to him. I saw a talk show once..
I felt so sad for these girls. They were so pretty and their guys made them feel like they are nothing. This one was really pretty and he made her feel ugly. Twisted Evil The poor girl really thoguht she was ulgy. The girl was a beaut, mate... beautiful.
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