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WILLING TO DO ANYTHING

 
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johnnyseville
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Joined: 27 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 1:21 pm    Post subject: WILLING TO DO ANYTHING Reply with quote

My girlfreind and I just broke off after 3 years, including one year living together and I must get her back.
First a little background. We met 3 years ago online, I am in NYC she was upstate NY. She came down a few times and thing were great so she eventually moved into my neighborhood, things went back and forth for a while then things were very good again so she ended up moving in with me for the past year. We decided to start a full time eBay business together, something we had in common, and quit our jobs. It was really tough making a go of it but with a lot of work on both our parts we made a very profitable business of it. The downside was we had no life and rarely spent quality time together. This hurt our relationshiip a great deal.
A few months ago she wanted to see her father in FL for his 81 birthday, she went for the weekend and stayed with her sister who lived nearby, when she came back she was different. She began speaking about moving to FL, something in the past she said she would not like to do, she was a NY person and loved NYC. Anyway one day she finally said she could not live like this anylonger and would pack her belongings and dogs and drive there. She claimed the reason was she did not feel the same about me any longer, she used to be deeply in love with me and I was and still was with her. She also aaid she had to move to FL to make sure there was a break between us, if she moved locally she knew we would eventually get back together. I tried everything to make her reconsider, closed out the business so we could have time and made all the concessions that she wanted, she decided to think about it a bit longer but in another week or so she said she was going to pack and leave the next day, which she did. I could not stop her. She said she would call me when she got to her sisters house in FL, but when she did not I called to make sure she was alright, she was very cold to me when she spoke.
Before I go on I will give you some background on both of us. She is a few years older than I (50) and has been married a few times. Her marriages ended in divorce for various reasons, either the guy was abusing her or they found someone else and left her. My background consists of one marriage many years ago that ended after one year when my wife passed away. I have never found anyone that made me as happy as she did through all the years and will never again, believe me I have really tried, so do not say you will find another, don;t waste your time.
Now to the dilemma, I am ready to fly down to FL and try to get her to reconsider. I am all set to book a flight and go down in a few days, I know where her sister lives. She is the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with and have to do this. If I have to I will end up moving to Fl to continue to make things right between us. I need some advice on the best way to do this. On our last conversation I mentioned I would be coming down and looking for an apartment since I did not want to live here anymore, but all she said was "good luck". I guess she did not believe me otherwise she would have gotten a bit more excited.
I am all ready to leave in a day or two to look for an apartment and confront her, I need advice on how to do this properly since I am afraid it was really freak her out when I show up. Please do not try to talk me out of it, just advise me on the best method of doing this. I really need you guys help on this one, my entire future is in your hands, please!
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Buck
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Joined: 10 Aug 2005
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Location: Toronto, Ontario

PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She moved to Fla to get away from you?

See how many people posted with advice on how to get her back?

Give it up. Three years is enough time to know wether you want to see someone or not.She has decided, not.

Sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear.
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johnnyseville
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Joined: 27 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Should have updated this, but since no one answered like they did on other forums I posted did not take the time. Bottom line, I went down as I said, went to her sisters house, brought flowers. When she saw me she was totally surprised, 10 seconds later she started to cry and told me she was so sorry of what she did. We went out to coffed, spoke for a few hours then got a hotel. We stayed 2 more days then returned home together. Had to go with my instincts on this one, besides a good many people on other forums encouraged me also. We are together again, I have proposed and will be married next June. Thanks for responding, though it was the wrong advice, you do not know her as well as I did. Best of luck to you in your romantic interests in the future.
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LoveFrank
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Joined: 11 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:11a26b482b="johnnyseville"]Best of luck to you in your romantic interests in the future.[/quote:11a26b482b]

I'm very happy for you. Your story proves there is hope, but at this point my hope is over. I commited to being a friend without asking for anything in return and now nothing. I'm very happy for you and I hope one day someone will come along and want what I have to give and not string me along for months and then shut it down like light. Sorry a little bitter and broken but I'm very happy for you both.

Take care, LoveFrank
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Buck
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Joined: 10 Aug 2005
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Location: Toronto, Ontario

PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

johnnyseville, you are a true romantic and I applaud your devotion.

Reading your initial post, I mistook your sincere love for this woman as borderline stalking. You have put a lot of effort into this relationship. Something a lot of people don't do these days. This is reflectd by a high divorce rate.
You sure showed me.
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saralee
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Joined: 21 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:ab3211bf83="johnnyseville"]We are together again, I have proposed and will be married next June. .[/quote:ab3211bf83]
I am so glad you are together. Before you get married, I highly suggest that you get some counseling. She has had several failed relationships and it would be great if you two learn how to communicate and deal with the ups and downs (and there will be many) of marriage. It is a skill...I learned the hard way, but was able to salvage things. Find a great weekend retreat or relationship counselor (I went through divorcebusting.com and got great help and I am sure there are lots of other sites too). Best of luck!
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