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stsj
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:33 am    Post subject: help please... Reply with quote

my ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago and he said he really hope we could stay friends. i said ok though i know it was going to be hard for me...

somehow, we seemed to bump into each other a lot and before he sees me, i would try to hide, but unfortunately he always notices me and he calls out to me and then said really loudly that i was trying to ignore him, but i pretended and said i didnt see him...lame, i know, but i just cant face him...does he know that?

he even came to my house once, and we even went ice skating once! my friends told me i was crazy, but he is, after all, my friend, isnt he?

then last week, we bumped into each other again, and when he said "bye" to me, i replied, but im not sure if he heard cause i sorta mumbled it, and he shouted out that i was ignoring him again...

why does he always have to embarrass me in front of everyone?

i got sorta pissed after that cause i had a few drinks, so i msged him and told him off...

the next day, i felt bad for being so mean, so i text him back apologizing...but i didnt get a reply...i tried calling him but he never answers his phone anymore...

why is he ignoring me so suddenly?
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm...? Did you tried text messaging him or calling him again? And what and how exactly did you tell him off with your message?

Anyway, the next question to be answering is, do you still have any feeling for him? Can you really treat him just as a friend? I mean there is not point lying to yourself, stsj.
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stsj
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:6a65091a7b="scorpio"]Hmmm...? Did you tried text messaging him or calling him again? And what and how exactly did you tell him off with your message?

Anyway, the next question to be answering is, do you still have any feeling for him? Can you really treat him just as a friend? I mean there is not point lying to yourself, stsj.[/quote:6a65091a7b]

no...i havent contacted him yet since the last time i tried...part of me just wants to give him space if he really doesnt want to see me...

of course i still have feelings for him, that's why i dont know what to do when we bump into each other...i want to talk to him and act like everything's alrite, but then i chicken out and try and hide...

i didnt really tell him off very badly. i just asked him why he always had to embarass me in front of his friends by saying loudly that i was ignoring him when i wasnt...

and i saw him again last night. it was so unexpected! i nearly freaked when i saw him! but im not sure if he saw me...and he looked like he had a few drinks, but im not sure...
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, to be fair to you, this shouldn't be the way he be treating you... You are a girl afterall. How can he be not understanding and treating it as like nothing happen... Not everyone can be like him. He definitely has to learn to respect you more... and he certainly has got no right to be angry with you...

Sorry, just feeling a little pissed off by how he is treating you... Hope my words didn't really affect you...

Now, from the way he is behaving and treating you... I don't see that it is worth to feel bothered by him... If he were to be understanding, he should be apologizing to you instead... Well, I sure hope he is reflecting on himself right now.

Whatever it is, life does go on... You certainly don't have to be feeling sorry for him. Nobody owe anyone anything... If things are not meant to be, there's no point... you know... Be strong stsj. The next time, just return him a simple smile and walk on....

You certainly deserve happiness, stsj. I know it is going to be hard but I believe time will heal... There are still many things to look forward to in life... You never know what may just come along... Wink
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stsj
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sigh...i guess so...im just so sick of feeling tired and sick of everything already. sometimes i miss him so much, but sometimes i just wish i would just move on already, instead of feeling so down all the time...but there's like something that's still holding me back...

but i just want to know why he's suddenly not speaking to me?

thank you
Stsj~
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, perhaps he finally realised that what he did, shouting at you... has been hurtful and is feeling sorry about it. And I hope he do... Guys can be at times be just SLOW in getting...

But whatever things may be, life does goes on... Your journey awaits you, stsj. Remember, life is a journey and not a destination... You certainly have the choice to be a happy stsj... Wink
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stsj
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 3:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

could he be angry at me perhaps? or is he doing this for me to forget him?
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm... Well, whatever it is... I guess he doesn't have the right to be angry with you... Afterall, what you are saying is the truth of how you are feeling... he indeed shouldn't be embarrassing you in front of his friends.

So anyway, there hasn't been any talking or communication between you guys at all since then? Happen to be still bumping and seeing one another?
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stsj
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i tried calling him again cause i just cant rest not knowing why but he still refused to answer...

and i havent seen him since i bumped into him last week...
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, from all the past shouting after you till the sudden quietness... it does seem like he is trying to avoid you... And what's the reason, that's really hard to tell... It might be possible that he is really feeling sorry for what he has done...

Hmmm... I guess, perhaps you can actually drop him a text message or an email telling him how you feel... Letting him know that you didn't mean to tell him off but it just that... and his avoiding and ignoring of you is just making you even more upset...

Well, I guess he wouldn't want to be in anyway hurting you afterall... perhap he might return your call after knowing how you feel...
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stsj
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

he's even blocked me on msn now...sigh...

but anyways,
if i do as you say, and he doesnt respond, i'm going to look and feel like such a pathetic loser...

he really doesnt seem to want to talk to me. i feel like he hates me or something. cos, well i actually missed out this point before, but that day when i first realised he was ignoring me, i called him and he got a friend to answer for him after ignoring a few calls...she told me that he left his phone over at her place, but i have a feeling they made that up cause i was sure i heard hesitation when she answered the phone...

should i just leave things as they are? i just dont want him to disappear from my life just like that...
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 3:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now, that's so sure that he is avoiding you... And why is this so? Hmmm...? Perhaps he is trying to tell you to forget about him and to move on?

Well, I guess you have to be asking yourself, what you truly want? Is is this friendship that you want to be keeping or are you thinking of just any chances of you guys getting back together? Think about it... And please do pardon me for saying... To be getting back together? I guess there isn't much of a chance... and to be remaining friends? It might very possibly just end up as some very casual friendship... (unless the both is able to forget about the past and move on...) And that if he is willing to too.

If he were to keep avoiding you, that's nothing we could do much... what he is doing may be inmature but well, he has his choice...

And whatever things may be, you have to move on stsj. Maybe to even forget about him and to just move on... I know this may not sound nice but if he doesn't apprecaite you, even appreciating you as a friend, I guess there's no point hurting yourself over him...

An email or a message to him may not necessary require a response from him... It can be a message from you telling him how you feel... "No matter what has happened... thanks for..."

A kind goodbye message? Think of it this way, it can be a way of letting go of that heavy stone hiding in your that heart of yours... And to then move on?

Hope my words won't make you feel just more disturbed...
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stsj
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sigh...you just said more or less everything i sorta realised...

but the thing i dont get is why so suddenly? one minute, he was still talking to me and he actually looked sulky tht i was ignoring him, the next, he didnt want to have anything to do with me anymore...it's just so confusing...

and it really was sudden cos the last time he spoke to me was at 3am, i sent tht msg to him at 4am and when i woke up the next morning, things were already this way...isnt tht a very sudden change?
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I guess you are just deep into the zone now... and I should believe the only way to be out of it and to be able to drop what that has been weighing on your heart is to find out the answer...

I wish I could tell you the reason for it... but I am afraid only him, would have the answer for you.

I know you may know like what I am saying and perhaps might even find it annoying... but still my advice to you is you have to move on stsj. To move on in which direction, I wouldn't know... But I do believe that there's no point playing the guessing game here, which is just tormenting and hurting you badly...

If the only way is to find out the answer, then you just have to find that courage to speak and to find out from him... Again, we wouldn't know whether it is going to be some nice or hurting reason... but whatever the reason may be, you have to nevertheless make yourself a decision and to move on yeah?
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sigh...ive lost all courage to face him and ask him already...i guess ill never ever get my answers...

thanks, btw...
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