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Need helps :( I'm scared to lose my boyfriend over arguments

 
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Fresh Blossom
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Joined: 17 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 6:13 pm    Post subject: Need helps :( I'm scared to lose my boyfriend over arguments Reply with quote

I'm feeling so miserable a couple of times and didn't know what to do. Ashamed to talk about it to my friends and think they can't help me any way. Hopefully letting it all out in here would helps me feel better. Please share me some advice of what you think I should do Sad

I'm going out with my boyfriend for 3 months now but we were friends for almost 2 years before we happened. My relationship is a long distance relationship and we only met in person 3 months ago. Our love is really strong that we committed on the first day we met because we actually already had feelings for each other. I went to see him and stayed there for 2 months. He took me out eating and shopping and everything. Over the last 2 years, phone communication, web cam and instant messenger never disconnected. Ever since we first chat until we met and until I came back, we argued and it becomes normal but lately I've been called a liar Sad and things start to feel different. I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH HIM.

Just tonight, earlier we were chatting on the phone on instant messenger. He was at work (doing night shift) and the time here was still around 9-10pm. Most of the time we chat is around this time coz during the day, he sleeps or otherwise spends time with family or friends but still he tries to keep me posted all the time. He's a sweet heart and a loving boyfriend. At the end of the chat, when he was driving home from work and I asked him to let me know when he gets home which he did BUT he added that 'and I'm about to go to sleep'. I understand that BUT he continued 'I'm going to sleep now baby so ttyl'. I felt disappointed not because I felt that he doesn't want to see me (on the web cam) or stay a little while to chat/talk to me BUT I was disappointed that he didn't say 'I love you' for the second time now..I'm very silly, ain't I?. Anyways I should understand that maybe he was really tired and just wanted to sleep but I was stuck and he felt something wrong so we talked on the phone. Things didn't go well like how i thought. I was just a little upset and he said I think way too much and called me a liar coz I told him i would understand him but I didn't Sad He said i like to argue this and that and act like a kid. There's more..all those words he said to me everytime we argue, it hurts me so bad Sad It makes me feel that I'm not good enough to handle this relationship Sad If i'm about to explain something..he goes WHATEVER to interrupt me or otherwise hung up on me Sad sometimes I question myself, HE IS OVER EXGERATED or AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH? I love him soooo much but sometimes this feeling makes me make mistakes and I'm so scared that I might lose him because of what I did. I feel so miserable every time he said all that to me. I know I was wrong but it becoz i really love him. I start to feel that he's tired of me already and I'm scared that he might find someone else better..someone who can makes him happy all the time. I don't know what I should do now. It's 4am and I'm still up typing this. I'm too afraid to go online again or talking to anyone. I don't even know what I should do after this and after I wake up later. I feel so miserable..sometimes I just hate myself..what did i do so wrong? Sad we were happy together but arguments really suffocate me. Last time something like this happened, we made it up and he was really sweet and loved me again. I don't know after tonight Sad I hope a miracle happens again. Please help me, how should I handle this sensitive emotions and fight for my relationship???...
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Princessa
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008
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Location: Canada

PostPosted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:21 am    Post subject: Need help Reply with quote

Don't stress yourself out so much. There is no one better than you. I can understand how those words hurt because I was told the same thing ("I don't understand" "I am a liar" and "I am a kid") the truth is HE doesn't understand or better yet, HE doesn't know how to communicate. Don't allow him to call you names because you know that is not true about you. It is very hard to ignore but you must.
You are a nice person (I know because I felt the same thing i.e not feeling good enough, thinking I don't know how to be in a relationship and feeling that he is going to find someone else). And I felt all those things because he did not give me the security that I needed.
So I went and turned things around. Living far apart is hard but you need to do things for yourself to make you feel good and keep busy, so you are not always thinking and worrying about him. (Go out with friends, family, work out/gym get a new hobby)
He knows your life revolves around him so make him work a little for you. make him miss you. But most of all have self respect for yourself and if he is making you feel insecure there is someone out there who will give you everything you are looking for and might not be so far away!
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