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I feel bad for him

 
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cdubsbabii
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:30 am    Post subject: I feel bad for him Reply with quote

ok heres a little back story on the situation: me and this guy have been friends for 4 years now, in fact we dated at one time but it didn't work, i love him to death but hes just not the type of guy that i want to be with. We've been through a lot together, hes been there for me since day 1 and ive always been there for him no matter what, i can tell him anything, hes been there for probably some of the hardest times in m life. Well during the time that we were dating, i met my now boyfriend, he didnt like that but he got over it, sort of (i really dont think he ever really will since hes still in love with me). Thats been about over a year and a half, i realized i deserved better then him since hes the "player" type. Anyways a lot has happened since then, he moved away and then his mom basically kicked him out so hes been all over the place stayin with ppl. Well at the beginning of this year the girl he was dating, got pregnant and basically forced him to marry her, well stupid ass did. Now he is a complete mess he always tells me i should be the one having his baby, and i would make him happy and be a better wife to him. Hes cheated on her like 3 times since theyve been together and she still doesnt get it. Right before he got married, me and our other friend tried to talk him out of it bcos we knew thats not wat he wanted and he wouldn't be happy, but all he cared about was pleasing everyone else. Now hes getting the papers to get a divorce, hes 19 and shes 17, its been 3 months since they've been married, their daughter will be born in 3 months, shes threating if he leaves her, he will never see his baby and all this stuff. He says he wants to be with me, but he doesn't get that i don't want to be with him, i love him, but not the way i love my boyfriend. I will always be there for him, but hes not getting it as much as i tell him were not the same anymore, im afraid if he gets hurt anymore he might do something, i hate saying no to him, bcos there is love there, but im not in love with him. we've gone through this over and over again, im afraid hes going to show up on my door step one of these days and i wont know what to do. my boyfriends sick of me and this guy always fighting. sorry for it being so long, theres so much more i left out!!!any advice at all PLEASE??

~THxs, Dani
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~Angel~
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You friend made his bed, now he has to lie in it. He is not being a good or respectful friend to you by continuing what he is doing to you. You have told him that you don't love him in the way he wants you to, so he should back off. Sounds to me like he could be borderline stalker & you don't want that. Not only that, you typed that your current boyfriend is tired of the fighting between you & your friend. That is going to eventually put a huge strain on your relationship. Is this friend worth it at all?

No matter how much drama your friend is going through, HE did it himself. So, no you shouldn't feel bad letting him know in no uncertain terms that you DO NOT love him & that if he can not respect you & your feelings that not to contact you anymore, the friendship is broken.

It will be the best thing for you & for you & your boyfriend hun.

Best of luck to you! Smile
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very well said, Angel.
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cdubsbabii
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a long talk with him the other day and I think he got the hint, but lets see how long that will last, I feel like I've had the same conversation over and over with him for the last 2 years. And the samething happens every single time, we wont talk for maybe a month or so and then one day, we'll talk online or he'll text me (he says he cant call me bcos it hurts too much to hear my voice Question) just out of the blue and`things will start off fine, but in the end, he ends up mad at me bcos ill tell him i don't want to be with him. As much as I love him, i can't do it anymore, i have enough stress in my life, i don't need him. I've put up with his crap for the last 4 years, im done. As much as I want to be friends with him still, he's not making that happen and hes pushing me away more and more. He's done this to many of our friends, i guess we all just always put up with it bcos, we did feel bad bcos he did have a hard/sad life, now im starting to realize most the stuff he did to himself. Im going to see what happens the next time we talk, if things end up the sameway they always do, im just cutting off all ties to him, im not losing my boyfriend over him. hes not worth it.

Thanks for the advice, i knew what i had to do in my head, I just needed to hear it from someone that doesn't know him i guess.

Thanks again,
Dani xoxo
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cdubsbabii
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your welcome hun, best of luck to you!
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