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Mate Issue...newbie here! Advice is love.

 
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liquid_sunshine
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 5:57 pm    Post subject: Mate Issue...newbie here! Advice is love. Reply with quote

Well, it's probably going to turn into the normal usual post, but I'd rather tell my own personal experience so I can get good views, I guess.

Well, my mate Alex has been a really good mate for about 2/3 years now, and I started fancying him about 4 months ago. Well, yesterday I managed, out of pure "it's now or never" gut instinct, to give him the card I got for him, and he told me he'd rather be friends. I totally understand this, and I don't feel a lot of hurt as I respect him (at least he had the balls to say it to my face - shows that he really cares) - it's just, we see each other every week and I can't avoid him.

I feel like I'm pretty over him already because we're such good friends, but I [u:6a6341978d]don't[/u:6a6341978d] want to fancy him again, because it risks him getting paranoid (he is rather shy) and so risks the friendship. Any ideas of how to get over him and keep it that way, therefore protecting our friendship?

Thanks,

Rach =)
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Last edited by liquid_sunshine on Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 6:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Mate Issue... Reply with quote

[quote:5adadf5525="liquid_sunshine"]Well, it's probably going to turn into the normal usual post, but I'd rather tell my own personal experience so I can get good views, I guess.

Well, my mate Alex has been a really good mate for about 2/3 years now, and I started fancying him about 4 months ago. Well, yesterday I managed, out of pure "it's now or never" gut instinct, to give him the card I got for him, and he told me he'd rather be friends. I totally understand this, and I don't feel a lot of hurt as I respect him (at least he had the balls to say it to my face - shows that he really cares) - it's just, we see each other every week and I can't avoid him.

I feel like I'm pretty over him already because we're such good friends, but I [u:5adadf5525]don't[/u:5adadf5525] want to fancy him again, because it risks him getting paranoid (he is rather shy) and so risks the friendship. Any ideas of how to get over him and keep it that way, therefore protecting our friendship?

Thanks,

Rach =)[/quote:5adadf5525] Hi, you can't make someome love you, as much as you can make them want you as a friend. If they don't want it, there is little you can do about it. You do have his friendship, and good friends are hard to find, so don't be hurt by this and feel blessed that you have him as a good friend. Go out with other guys, just maybe the guy will have a change of heart one day, but you shouldn't wait around on him. Go an enjoy yourself with and without him.
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liquid_sunshine
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh don't worry - I am over him. But I feel it was all rather over quite quick, and I should be feeling sad right now, yet I feel emotionless about the situation. Help?
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[color=red:c22a76c6b0]~Why can't we see, that when we bleed, we bleed the same~ - Muse [/color:c22a76c6b0]

[color=blue:c22a76c6b0]-мiѕтяєѕѕ of iяσиу and pє∂αитяу-[/color:c22a76c6b0]
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:c3085651dc="liquid_sunshine"]Oh don't worry - I am over him. But I feel it was all rather over quite quick, and I should be feeling sad right now, yet I feel emotionless about the situation. Help?[/quote:c3085651dc]

Really? Don't feel like Crying or Very sad here? Then you are trying to be one hard cookie here, or maybe you know that "deep down" that it is for the best.
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liquid_sunshine
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm guessing that subconciously I know it's for the best. I think, at the moment I'm being rather hostile towards lovey-dovey stuff, and if anyone mentions stuff about love or other guys, I just blank out, leave or try to change the subject. Maybe that's why?
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[color=red:c22a76c6b0]~Why can't we see, that when we bleed, we bleed the same~ - Muse [/color:c22a76c6b0]

[color=blue:c22a76c6b0]-мiѕтяєѕѕ of iяσиу and pє∂αитяу-[/color:c22a76c6b0]
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:81426e33f7="liquid_sunshine"]I'm guessing that subconciously I know it's for the best. I think, at the moment I'm being rather hostile towards lovey-dovey stuff, and if anyone mentions stuff about love or other guys, I just blank out, leave or try to change the subject. Maybe that's why?[/quote:81426e33f7]

You're not in the boat alone. Remember that. Very Happy
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:c0f5357e89="liquid_sunshine"]I'm guessing that subconciously I know it's for the best. I think, at the moment I'm being rather hostile towards lovey-dovey stuff, and if anyone mentions stuff about love or other guys, I just blank out, leave or try to change the subject. Maybe that's why?[/quote:c0f5357e89]

You very well could be hurt (in a way) by not liking the "lovey dovey" stuff & talk about other men. You may not feel it, but your mind feels it by not wanting to deal w/romantic stuff at this moment.

Hope your feeling better by now. Smile
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