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how do i deal with my boyfriend's attitude

 
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SecretOktober
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 7:05 am    Post subject: how do i deal with my boyfriend's attitude Reply with quote

Hello everyone i'm new to this website. i came on here because google and every other search engine isn't helping on what i need advice on so hear it goes...



okay....My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years in May. Well last summer his parents had sent him away to go to college (UNR University of Nevada Reno) of course I didn't want him to go and he didn't neither well i thought well this could be a test on how much we really love each other and i knew it maybe wouldn't be that bad of being away cause it gave me time to focus on what i needed to get done that way it wouldn't be that long to see him for his breaks I live in las vegas so its like 9 hours away from me. My boyfriend and I love each other very much we both love and trust each other and i know sometimes people say long distance relationships don't work but mine is and we talk every single night and we call before we go to bed. All he likes to do in Reno is play his computer games Guildwars and of course World of War Craft hes not addicted like other guys thank god at least he tells me he'll call me later so that he doesn't get distracted he even wants me to buy the game so that we could play together we love to play videogames together thats a plus most girls don't. Well anyways the point is that when he comes home hes fine , hes sweet ,caring, loving ect..... Well everytime he goes back up to Reno he has this bug up his ass and has the nastiest attitude ever he gets mad when i keep asking him whats wrong he says i ask to many questions and he thinks that when he jokes around I take it personally...Okay sometimes i do i know i do i'm sencetive and that can get annoying cause i know when ppl do it with me i get a little anoyed too. Well me and my boyfriend argue over the stupidest things in the world i mean the stupidest things not the important stuff like we never argue about "oh you are cheating on me or you lied to me" none of that stuff which i'm happy about because then i know we trust each other. before he came home for his birthday he had told me he wants to come home for good because he wants to be home with me of course why wouldn't anybodys boyfriend would want to come home to their girlfriend , well plus his grades in college are slippying he tells me hes not ready for the university and wants to come home and go to CCSN and then transfer to UNLV i made sure thats what he wants to do so that his parents won't blame me for him wanting to come home so he finally told his parents about it but they said they aren't gonna talk about it until his summber break.His parents are teachers so hes not sure what they are gonna do yet. Okay heres the major point sorry for getting carried away....
Okay i feel that when he comes home hes happy and all over me we hang out with our closest friends and go to dinner ect..... well when he goes back up to reno he seems depressed moody and has the worst attitude sometimes he says things he doesn't mean nothing bad like calling me names or anything just answering me pretty mean doesn't seem enthused to talk and i know he wants to come home because everytime i talk to him hes either on his game or writing his papers trust me i can hear his games in the backround and stuff. okay we had an argument a couple of days ago about me and him joining a gym together but he told me that he already has one with his moms account so i kinda got upset because i thought we could do something together ya know well he got all mad me and told me that i make things into a big deal so i said i'll call you later maybe thinking talk to him when he cooled off well i talk to him the next day in the sweetest way i could and he still seem mad well then he started talking to me like crap and got mad and said "you know what you call me when your ready to talk to me the right way or if you want wait until you come home saturday which is this weekend to talk to me cause i'm sick of the way your talking to me" well he called me the next day 3 and i was trying to tell him something about work that had happened with me and then his roomate interrupted him and i got a little upset because my boyfriend didn't tell me to hold on because i was in a middle of a conversatuion well he got mad and said your making it into a big deal because i didn't put you on hold but i didn't yell at him or treated him like crap i just told him that it inappropriate to do that thats all then i said the same thing call me when your ready he said fine. he called me in the middle of the night syaing he was sorry for the way he was talking to me and then he told me that he just doesn't like it when i make things into a big deal or get mad at the stupidest things. so was like okay something that i have to work on and so do you because if this keeps it up our relationship is gonna go sour or push me away or maybe lead up into a break up which i don't want too and he doesn't either i've asked him. Well today is day 4 and he called me and we were talking fine until he got mad at me because i bough another bathing suit at target that i feel comfortable in and hes like "well why did you buy that when you already have one" and i said well because i feel more covered up in this one and i don't like showing alot of skin the bathing suit is really cute and i know he would like he hasn't even seen it yet so what does he know. so he had an attiude about and i said remember what i talked to you about how your attiude might ruin things well if i were you i would take it seriously and I said well you know what just really really call me when your ready and snap out of it or wait until saturday to talk to me. It's weird how he said fine because he had told me in the past that it hurts his stomach when going a long period of time not talking to me he has to talk to me. So I need advice on how to deal with his attuide I love my matthew with all of my heart and he knows that in my eyes i know that i'm the best girlfriend hes ever had and i want him to work on this so we can go further in life together and hes mention about marriage after I pass my GED so what do i do? i'm really really sorry for this long long long message i just wanted to write out how i feel so that maybe any of you can give me some great advice thanks for taking the time in reading this long message and for your advice.

Thanks

Secret Oktober
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 8:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get him out of reno.
when young boys are together, they talk badm, harsh to look smart in front of the others. and i never heard of any one being able to talk sweet to anyone on the phone, while playing game on computer that they are loosing ... because they talk on the phone.. Wink

I he prefer his game than talking to you, ask him directly to stop the computer and if he is alone when the 2 of you are talking.

and i think you got on each others nerves because you are away and none of you likes it.

dont take it seriously as it isnt, but know that not all guys are sensible enough to understand nor to want to show that they are sensiblenor to show emotions. he could be sending you away because he needs you but doesnt want to show it... and specially not in front of those from Reno.

nothing serious at all, the proove is that thing about the bathsuit.. thats funny! why should he reproach you that? nota guy thin to do so.. are you married or what? Laughing it just show he is mad not to can be here to see you in it.. and to say something negativ, to snap at you, because he is dead fristrated by both the distance and his total unhability at communicating his feelings.. thats male thing.. making matter of the heart worse.. Rolling Eyes ignoring what could better thesituation and getting mad if one try to lead him into doing so. They dont like to be reminded their weak sides..
So leave it be. See each others more often, and the summer is in 2-3 months, so you 2 can move together or live close by.
And..talk with him openly about htis communication problem you 2 have.. agree to make a mutual effort, and to tell more about how you really feel. do so when you are together.

good luck
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SecretOktober
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 8:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you so much for your advice! After I posted this he called me later and opened up to me why he was being the way he was i'm sooo glad he opened up to me and told me about how he felt and we talked about it like adults. He basically told me he needed some space not break up or anything , but what bothered him the most was that he felt that he needs his own space like i had mention in the post that he were arguing about the gym thing he says that we don't need to everything together he finds the gym a place to get away for a little bit and to have some alone time to himself which i understand because i sure in the hell wouldn't want him watch me getting my nails and feet done that would feel weird lol so i totally understand so now we are gonna work on things and talk about our problems instead acting rediclous. Thank you soo much for your adavice again. I'm praying that his parents will let him stay for good his dad argreed on it so i'm waiting for his mom hopefully she says yes and no more RENO! Thanks a bunch!
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was a quick one! Laughing

Happy for you that it was resolved! Very Happy
and good luck to both of you! Wink
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:a73ec15441="SecretOktober"]thank you so much for your advice! After I posted this he called me later and opened up to me why he was being the way he was i'm sooo glad he opened up to me and told me about how he felt and we talked about it like adults. He basically told me he needed some space not break up or anything , but what bothered him the most was that he felt that he needs his own space like i had mention in the post that he were arguing about the gym thing he says that we don't need to everything together he finds the gym a place to get away for a little bit and to have some alone time to himself which i understand because i sure in the hell wouldn't want him watch me getting my nails and feet done that would feel weird lol so i totally understand so now we are gonna work on things and talk about our problems instead acting rediclous. Thank you soo much for your adavice again. I'm praying that his parents will let him stay for good his dad argreed on it so i'm waiting for his mom hopefully she says yes and no more RENO! Thanks a bunch![/quote:a73ec15441]

It's his life. He should go to the school of his choice. I could see them getting mad if he didn't want to go to school at all, but this isn't the case.

Best of luck to the both of you ! Very Happy
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad that things got resolved. Good luck to you & your boyfriend! Smile
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