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Commitment issues
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Haydyn
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi. I think communication and honesty is the key to every relationship. Make it clear to him that you know he loves you and that you are not asking for the world, but just him and his love. You're not asking him to bring you the moon, you just want him to be there for you for many years to come. Don't pressure him into making a commitment, maybe just making sure that he agrees about you two being in love, being a couple and being there fore each other no matter what the future may bring. Pushing a man who has been deeply hurt from two past serious relationships and expecting him to give you a straight answer about committing to you is probably in many instances not wise. If he says yes straight away, he might be lying! I believe you have honesty from him and i would say that that aspect is also important. Is he seeing anyone else while seeing you? is that what you mean by him not committing to you? If he is then you should let him know that you love him but you need to move on if he doesn't make a decision. Go out and meet new people. You deserve to be cherish and love by someone who wouldn't have second thoughts. If he's only seeing you but just can't give you a dead answer but clearly loves you and agrees to be there for you then i say give it time. Love is not perfect. and there is nothing wrong with not having a perfect relationship. Weathering obsticles only proves that two people truly love each other. If this is your happiness, you shouldn't turn your back on it.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personally pookskie I think you did the right thing by staying away. HE needs to heal (as you stated) & also to figure out what exactly he wants of you. If he wants to commit to you or continue the cycle of on again, off again. The on & off thing is not good for you, it's too much bouncing around, just when you think things are going well, BAM he wants to slow things down, too much confusion.

Do you think you 2 could be friends? Non-intimate friends?
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pookskie
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much...Haydyn, I think he will see other people now that I have told him to not contact me. That in itself confuses me...if he can't commit, why would he look for someone else? Unless he just can't commit to ME but I really don't think that is it. I want him to put up a fight and not let me walk out of his life but he hasn't and that is what hurts the most. The thought of him not being in my life leaves a huge emptiness inside me. But Angel, I agree with you - I have to move on and that's what I told him when I said it was over. I think I have to accept that it is truly over...that we are the right match, just at the wrong time. I just don't know if I can do it...but I know I don't just want the scraps he has been giving me for a while now.....is there any way to make this easier?
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Unfortunately, we can't turn our feelings on & off like a water faucet. Take some time for yourself, let yourself heal from the ups & downs & being w/him. Do something nice for yourself, find something that you like & do it. Pamper yourself, now it's time to take care of YOU!

Good luck! Smile
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I agree with Angel on this. If you don't take care of you.. no one else will.
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Haydyn
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have you been seeing other people? If you are, how is it? do you have a better time than with him?
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pookskie
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have tried to see other people many times over the last 2 years...it is a disaster. I find myself comparing everyone to him - there just isn't anyone like him. I have decided to give it another try, a serious try, here pretty soon. Accepting in my head AND heart that it has to be over for now has really helped, but I still miss him and am scared about what I will do when he contacts me, which I know he will.I just hope I can be strong and not let things slip back into the same old pattern.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Love sucks sometimes, doesn't it, love? Well, they say it is better to have love and lost, than to never have love at all. keep smiling, things will get better for ya. You just need to believe it. Very Happy
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keep your head up pookskie, things WILL work out for the best. It's hard to see that now, but they will. You will go on, it just takes a bit more time.

(((HUGS))) Smile
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pookskie
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you guys so much.....I will keep you updated!
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK. Good luck !
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