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tears, secrets, and love
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:35 pm    Post subject: tears, secrets, and love Reply with quote

ok, this is very complicated... if you want to hear all the details, send me a message or instant message me (dontfretprecious@hotmail.com, using MSN Instant Messaging)... i am in high school, i am a freshman, and i met a senior this year, we became friends and we both have confessed to each other we like each other "more than just friends" but the one problem is he has a girlfriend, she goes to another school. i love him, i really do, but he is afraid to break up with his girlfriend, he doesnt want to hurt her and i think he's afraid she'll hurt herself... when were together we're pretty close and we'll hold hands and hug and act like a regular couple, and i really wish we were, i think he does too. everyone thinks were going out until we tell them we arent. god, i love him so much... and it hurts so bad just to think about his girlfriend... i want to be with him forever and am always thinking about him and cant imagine my life without him.... i really need some help... i dont want to tell him to break up with her, i cant do that its mean and ill-thoughtful... im so confused... need advice asap...
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see. Very nice of you not to take her man away from her. Some many girls, these days, will do whatever it takes to get what they want.
If the guy really wants to be with you.. he will break up with her. Hurt herself? Is this girl unstable or something? Maybe this is what she is making the poor boy feel or believe, so that, he will not leave her. Sad ..if this is the case.
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've met her a couple of times, we didn't talk much though, i mean, how could we? i don't want to be mean, i don't want anyone to get hurt, but it's inevitable isn't it? i've been hurt, i've shed my tears, but still i can't help but wonder, what is it like for her? what does he think about all of this? i feel like its all my fault we got into this mess becuz i was too shy to let him know i liked him when he asked, which was before his girlfriend asked him out... i think his gf used to cut herself, and he's afraid she'll do it again if he breaks up with her... he's said before he's hoping his girlfriend will break up with him... i want them to break up, but i'm not going to tell him to dump her, that's way too harsh...
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:4ce6ef0a4f="unknown"]I've met her a couple of times, we didn't talk much though, i mean, how could we? i don't want to be mean, i don't want anyone to get hurt, but it's inevitable isn't it? i've been hurt, i've shed my tears, but still i can't help but wonder, what is it like for her? what does he think about all of this? i feel like its all my fault we got into this mess becuz i was too shy to let him know i liked him when he asked, which was before his girlfriend asked him out... i think his gf used to cut herself, and he's afraid she'll do it again if he breaks up with her... he's said before he's hoping his girlfriend will break up with him... i want them to break up, but i'm not going to tell him to dump her, that's way too harsh...[/quote:4ce6ef0a4f]

Good heart. Very Happy
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sadandconfused07
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well it is very nice of you to not take him away from his girlfriend but he cant keep you hanging in there if he don't want to be with you.If he wants to be with you then he will leave his girlfriend and as far as the whole cutting thing I use to be a cutter but I never made someone feel like they had to stay with me or fear if they left me I would cut and/or kill myself...[u:70408b995c]If[/u:70408b995c] she is doing this she needs to grow up and 9 times out of 10 they won't not over something like that its a sympathy/scare tactic...I know all about that alot of my exs tried that with me and I told them if they was stupid enough to over something like that then go ahead...but they never did because they was never going to anyways he needs to worry about what he wants and if he wants to be with you...not about her cutting herself.things change and peoples feelings change and its not your fault...yes said you was to shy to tell him when he asked before she asked him out but obviously there was atleast a little something there he had for you when he told her he would go out with her...so no its not your fault and maybe you should talk to him and tell him all this stuff and the way you feel also let him no your not gonna wait around forever.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:22 am    Post subject: thnx but... Reply with quote

i really just need some advice, i love him so much but i cant show it as much as i would like so plz... i dont know what to do anymore
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

he told me she has strong feelings for him and he doesnt want to hurt her... i mean, i can understand this, but he's making it so confusing who it is he likes more or wants to be with more...
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:26 am    Post subject: Re: thnx but... Reply with quote

[quote:be54390b40="unknown"]i really just need some advice, i love him so much but i cant show it as much as i would like so plz... i dont know what to do anymore[/quote:be54390b40]

I know. Crying or Very sad Smile Very Happy You do have us to talk to.
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i know... thank u all so much, u the first ppl who have actually helped me in some way or another, other ppl are just like 'he is a player, go find someone else' and that not easy to even imagine, someone besides him... thanks... Mr. Green
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:d20c35bcb6="unknown"]i know... thank u all so much, u the first ppl who have actually helped me in some way or another, other ppl are just like 'he is a player, go find someone else' and that not easy to even imagine, someone besides him... thanks... Mr. Green[/quote:d20c35bcb6]

No problem. Good luck !
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thnx... im gonna need that luck
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well gurlie I have been in situations like this before and the best thing to do is tell him you wanna know straight up who he wants to be with even if you are scared of the answer you might get and tell him if he wants to be with her then he should be with her and not lead you on but if he wants to be with you he needs to be with you and it is going to hurt her even more if she finds out he has feelings for another girl since she has strong feelings for him.He needs to make up his mind because hes being unfair to both of you right now.
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i have asked him who he likes more and he said he likes me more, and what makes it confusing is he still is with her. we've had a lot of conversations about this, he said he likes me more than a friend, wants to be with me more than her, and always seems to be sad when he has to hang out with her, but he really is a very nice person, some ppl say he's too nice, and he just doesnt want to hurt her
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yea i can understand that...it sounds like he is too nice and very considerate to stay in a relationship when he wants to be with someone else but i hope he wakes up and realizes he shouldn't be in a relationship with someone if he wants to be with someone else and the only thing you can really do is try to make him see that some how.
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