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Will She Come Back to me? (condensed yet long)
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McMasterMcGee
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:19 pm    Post subject: Will She Come Back to me? (condensed yet long) Reply with quote

Here it goes we have been together 1 year and 9 months, still in highschool. It all started out 4 weeks ago. i was taking medication and had alot of coffee ( no excuses but stimulants dont help) and i got a bad temper. This was my first and only offense. I didnt exacly yell. but we didnt see eye to eye. She says and told all her friends i yelled, her side of the story. The next day everything was fine and dandy. Continued on for a week. All the sudden she calls me and then says she just wants to be friends. She uses the reason that i was snappy constintly and she needed some time to think if she wanted to keep a relationship.

I begged the first day after. and a day exactly 1 weeks after that, and that was it. Two weeks from the initial "relationship pending" i write her a note because she was unable to confront me if she wanted to be with me and real reason why she decided to take a break. She wrote back she just wants to be friends and i was snappy and pushy.

There is no way after 1 year in 9 months that anyone would end a relationship over 5 minutes of not agreeing on something. This didnt make sense. I took a look at the big picture.... she now has a job, she almost failed math, her father is a HARDA$$ and schoolboard principal, and her mother pressures her into alot of hobbies. Well it occured to me that maybe she is to occupied for a boyfriend. School, her dad, job, hobbies, and then me.. to much pressure on someone. So maybe she let me go because all of the pressure. There just isnt any room in the picture for me at the moment. If so, why wouldnt she tell me pressure is the reason and not me just being snappy for a day. My mother days she may be embarrassed of the situation and use me being snappy as an excuse. Maybe its the real thing. You tell me.

Other Facts: She never ever told me what was on her mind about the situation. She never told me she felt like i was too snappy. She never gave me a second chance. She cant look nor talk to me. I think she feels guilty about letting me go. I changed my lunch schedule for her, which happens to be two days before she broke up with me, so i gave up my one friend to be with her and she let me go now i loiter at lunch. In her notes she said she still cares for me.

I know she loves me to death, I would do anything in the world for a second chance..... I need to know what you guys think. i need to know if you guys think that she would end a relationship over 5 minutes of not seeing eye to eye, or if this is life/school/job related. If so... do you guys think when she has time that she will come back? we never fought, we always got along... and its all gone. i love her to death, i would do anything in the world for her. I need to know what you guys think. Also i gave her a note today saying i know you have been pressured way to much by school your job, your family and I and i understand. I also said she made the right decision to break me off so she can get her life staightened out.... its been 3 weeks since she let me go. What are her chances of her coming back within a few months?
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, 1 year and 9 mths? In my views, definitely not a relationship to be ending over just a 5 min of not seeing eye to eye...

But still (not suggesting anything), how's things been for the past 1 year and so? Only you know it best... If things have been good, then chances of her been over pressurized by her parents could be very high.

Hmmm... what's the chances of her coming back? Hard to be saying but in anyway, things would be possible only if you are not going to give up... not to be too harsh on her though. Dropping her a gentle note(as what you did), card or perhaps even some flowers would be nice...

To let her know that you still love her... and if she love you too, she should do what she has to do...
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McMasterMcGee
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

things over the past year in my eyes have been great, never fought. our communication has dropped slightly before we broke up but i get the feeling its because she was planning on breaking up. we usually just spend alot of time at each others house watching movies and play sum games while flirting such as pool or sumthin. i thought i had a great relationship, it was just that one time, she says there was more and i think shes udung it as an excuse, when i was crabby. there may be but she never told me she thought i was being crabby... next thing i know bam she wants to be friends with a 2 week wait period of her making up her mind if she wants to keep the relationship or not. thats when i picked up my pacing habbit. it didnt make sense. at first i thought it was over neglect because she would call at like 10 every night when i would go to bed and we would only get to talk for 5-10 minutes a day. then she told ym mom i was "yelling" at her at school a bit which was untrue, bad attitude yes but i didnt raise my voice but i guess other people have different definitions of yelling. happened 1 time.

i do think it is pressure from her parents and home life. job, school(she almost failed math), hobbies(important to her mother), her MEAN father (principle of school board),and then me.... i guess your right. i wil try to not give up and let her know i still care.... i just hope it doesnt back fire by hanging on and then she doesnt want to be with me... would only enlengthen the pain. but for her. i guess its worth it seeing how she felt obligated to dump me....

she still doesnt talk to me much, just "hey" and hand waves when i throw them first. she wont speak to me unless spoken too. she wont let me hang out with her at lunch. does she feel guilty and doesnt want to confront me? i dont plan on bringing anything up between her and I... she just wont let me speak to her unless its by note. and well the past 2 ive given her ive gotten no response. flowers may be pushing it.... i dont want to pressure her intot thinking she needs to get back into a relationship.i guess i just wait. any other people think what the chances are of her coming back to me if she gets things straightened out such as her grades and home life?
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McMasterMcGee
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

anyone have any oppinions on if you think chacnes are good she may want to start a relationship when and if she can? if her parents/school is the reason why she broke me off..
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 1:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From your second post towards the end, you stated that she speaks to you only when you speak to her first, she only responds by note, it doesn't seem like she wants to continue on as friends either hun. I also think the reason isn't about school, hobbies, parents is too much for her & she let you go to lighten her load, I'm thinking it could be something else, something that she just doesn't want to talk to you about.

I hope I'm not sounding harsh, but I think that maybe her saying that her breaking it off w/you because you "yelled' at her was just an excuse. Now, I can't say why she used that as an excuse, some people don't want to say the exact reasons WHY they break off a relationship at times. The reasons they may not could be a bunch of different things.

My best advice to you & I know this will probably be hard for you is to move on. She seems like she has hun, so now it might be best for you to do the same. A year (almost 2) is a long time to be together, but from the way you stated that she is acting now, I'm not too sure she will want to come back, it seems to me that she's moving on w/her life. Sorry! Sad

Take care!
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McMasterMcGee
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you for your response. i dont know what it can be besides the fact that her parents forced her to break up with me or she did herself because of too much pressure from activities. She almost failed math last symester. which was 1 week before she broke up with me. Her dad is very strict and prinicipal of schoolbaord. The most logical thing i could think of was those two reasons. Some of my family thinks the reason why she doesnt talk to me is because she felt guilty. Why she couldnt tell me the real reason, embarrassment? I hope she hasnt decided to move on yet, because im still hanging on. Before she broke up with me she told me there was noone else and exactly stated "its not like im going to be dating again." so it led me to believe thay her new job and her D in math made her dad say "your not responsible enough to have a boyfriend you need to focus on school." and i agree that yelling was an excuse to save hersekf from embarrassment. accurate? idk.. but it seems most logical so far. plz respond with oppinions and thank you for yours Angel, it opens up possibilities.

oh oh, almost forgot. she said she wanted to be friends.. obviously she just wanted to say something better than i dont want a relationship no more. when i wrote her a note i told her we could still be friends talk and hang out and she responded thats what she wanted as well. i told her she was my best friend which is true and she repsonded as me being hers but so far, she has treated me as if she never saw me. in 4 days it will be exacly 1 month.
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McMasterMcGee
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i talked to her today, i sent her a note asking if i was accurate about her being all cought up in her grades and her parents and job ect. i also asked if she was going to start talking to me again. She got up in class and came over and started talking to me.

I asked if i was accurate she said "its part of it". she then said she never meant to hurt me and she just cant explain what she is feeling. I asked why she wont talk to me or look at me sometimes. She said "it brings up memories". but she also said she has no more feeling.... if im not mistaken that statement kinda contradicted itself. so i think she still has feelings for me. after 1 year and 9 months, its supportive.

She said her mom hit her last night, her home life is pretty crappy at the moment and she looked really sad. After i asked her when she was gong to start talking to me, which i think will be soon, i just started talking as a friend. I brought up her having a job and i asked what she did and she drives now and bla bla friend stuff. Told her some new things that were goin on... after awhile before we had to go i asked if there was a chance for us in the future, whether it be 1 month 2 months or a year from now. she said maybe... right now she doesnt know what she wants, or what to do, or her plans in life. maybe she just lost interest in the whole idea.. idk.. i still love her... all i can do is wait and hope she gets her life straightened out and hope she wants a relationship when she finds herself.... do things sound good in my favor?
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Her mom hit her. Not good. After she is done with school things will get better for the both of you. I really hope for her sake it does. Finish school first then see how the both of you feel by then. Good luck !
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree, you both finish school & then see what happens.

In the mean time though, if you can be her friend (talk to her like you did), that would probably help her. I bet she needs someone to talk to, it would help her to let out her frustrations she has built up because there is so much going on in her life right now.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good advice from a cool Cool guy, huh? Laughing Wink
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McMasterMcGee
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

im trying to be her friend... she told me she wants to be friends, and its been a month since she broke it off. i ask her about every week or so if she wants to hang out at lunch. but she says no and goes and hangs out with her other friends. yet she still says she wants to be my friend. i dont understand sometimes. i am trying my best to get anything out of what we once had, im shooting for the relationship sparking up again but i doubt that. as it stands right now it doesnt look like im even getting a friend out of it. which is sad. it seems like all my effort is not paying off.

i got the extremely short end of the stick, her reasoning that she told me she wanted to be friends "snappy and pushy" is crap. noone ends a relationship over such a thing without trying to resolve a problem if it exists. i got nothing, no forwarning, no information when she broke up with me, 2 weeks later a crapy excuse, and so far no second chance. and the real truth has still not been revealed.

she told me i was snappy. true (happened rarely) but she never tried to resolve it, talk about it, nor give me a second chance.so i think its a lie.

me talking about her homelife, schoool and her job is the most logical reason i could come up with until i asked her and she said its "part of the problem".. so i dont know what it is and its eating me alive.

she is seen alot with this guy, although i was told he was a GF already. He has really long shaggy hair, isnt very attractive, doesnt look very "clean cut", is about 5'3, and has a voice like an anus. So them being together.. i dont know... but they seem to have become pretty close friends really soon after i left.... maybe i should investigate a lil more and see if they are going out. and if they are... i think i would ahve the right to know if they were seeing each other when i was with her.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I would move on and find someone else then. Still, I would worry about my school work and less on girls. Girls do fall for a guy not only on their looks, you know. Get that good job and the right girl will come later.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it would be time to move on, it's only going to drive you crazy if you continue on w/wondering what she is up to or who she is friends w/in regards to other guys.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't let the girl drive you crazy. Get with the wrong one and they can drive you to drink too. Take your time.
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McMasterMcGee
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

she left me for him
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