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"Not now" - she always doesnt want to discuss prob

 
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loveisthereason
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Joined: 11 Apr 2010
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 11:56 am    Post subject: "Not now" - she always doesnt want to discuss prob Reply with quote

My girlfriend and i often fight. usually its only because of small things but sometimes on the larger scale too. the problem is...she doesnt want to talk about them...i try to fix our problems, try to get them over with so that in the future we wont run into them r if we do, we'd know what to do...she justs wants me to forget about all of them...but its so hard for me to do so because they hurt..im trying my best to make things easier but she just wants to forget about the stuff...everything is building up inside me and i just dont know how to rid myself of the heavy burden in my chest..how do i cope with this? i try to tell her nicely that we should fix them for us to move on, but she just throws tantrums and gets mad...what do i do..?
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raiundazan
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Joined: 01 May 2010
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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand exactly what you are going through. In my case, I'm the girl and I've been doing the convincing. In the first years of my relationship with my boyfriend (who is now my husband), I could never talk to him about problems. He would either brush it off or tell me to forget about it because it would only make things worse. I was so frustrated that I couldn't even solve my own problems. But I found a resolution to that. Whenever we argue or are in the heat of a discussion that's going sour, I wouldn't talk about anything that I would feel that might hurt him or myself. Angry people tend to say stupid things they end up regretting they said. I would wait till we have sweet moments and gently bring them up. By that time, we would be able to discuss stuff without shouting and would even be able to apologize without having pride in the way.. Try doing that too. It's really hard at first, (especially when there are words you'd really want to get out of your system when you are furious) but you would eventually get used to it. Very Happy
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