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so hard to explain or understand this.......

 
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mario
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Joined: 06 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:52 pm    Post subject: so hard to explain or understand this....... Reply with quote

I found this forum by luck....
and don't know if I'm in the right place to put my situation on here.
just like to let the world what i'm passing through.

My name its Mario, on 30 years old
I'm married to my wife for 8 years and we have 2 kids (boys 6 & 5).

After knowing my wife for 12 years,(1 year as friends-3 as boyfriends and 8 of marriage)
she now come to me and says, she wants to break our relationship.
that she wants live me and she wants to be free........and take the kids w/ her.

I considered myself the best husband, the best partner, the best parent, the best person the could always trys to keep the whole family together.
I'm always at my kids doctors check-ups, schools activities, church activities, family dates out. always as a family, always have time for my kids and my wife.

I always treat my wife w/ respect, I Love my wife, i have gave her all the love all the attention she needs, I'm a hard working person always looking to give the best to my family.

My cofusion is the decision she's taking right know,
she's telling me that she doesn't feel or like been in our home no more.
and that she wants to leave. but w/ the kids too.

We have never had any confrontations in past, never.
for me this is something shoking.

I have talk to her really clear and that i need a better explaination
she nows tells me that She never felt anything for me, and the only reason
she was w/ me and marry me, its because she didn't know what she felt for me back then. now she realized that she knows very clear that she doesn't love meor ever did.

I ask her that if she never love me, why did she decide to bring 2 lovely kids in our lives, she answer because she wanted to have kids.

I keep asking her, but what about me? You don't care what I feel?
...............no answer,
I love my Kids, I love my wife

I just could help myself looking at her wanting to leave.
so I let her go.................w/ my 2 kids.
I wanted to die, but just thinking of my kids,, keep me alive.
The pain was so deep, I dicide to give her time to think about what she was doing, but seens to me their was no sign of coming back.....
10 days past and I just couldn't keep up.

My pain was making me make stupid decisions..
I beg her that i can't keep going with out her and my kids........I beg for a second chance, to try to work the situation, I told her to do it for kids
our kids don't have to go through all this because we the parents made stupid decisions...........

she ddecide to can back only for the kids, but only for them, not because of me.
after 2 weeks of all us together, for no reason I colapse to the floor, with no control of my legs, i was in shock, Doctors found on my lowerback, a big problem (hernia in my bones)
I need Urgen Surgery.......it means that I may become paralyzed from my legs and never walk again.........
after to many days with this pains on my back, and been with family.....
I decide to ask my wife how its her situation as been part of the family
If she was still wanting to leave........the answer was "YES, I still want ot leave........."

I have decide to give her freedom again......... but I still afraid my situation w/ my kids
I don't know if I should fight my kids custody or just let her take'm
I know that they are going to be better w/ their mom cause she a good mother.
But I love'em too, I'm a good father too.
but my situation its very hard
I'm fighting for my family, and fighting for health too.

I 'm loosing my faith in god, cause its not fair my situation,
I have done everything as god tells us to do. Always
been the best person you can be.

Crying or Very sad
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scorpio
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Posts: 292

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Mario. You are certainly most welcome here...

Well, I am sorry to be hearing about your story. I am sure you have done your part as both a husband and father of your kids. I wouldn't know if things can still work out between you and your wife but in my opinion, you should also do your part for Mario too...

Yes. If Mario himself should fall, the story can never go on... I would say that the important thing now would be to get yourself back in shape again... there's no way you can win the custody or even to move on without first getting your hernia problem resolved. Have faith in yoursef, Mario. I am sure the surgery will be fine... You will certainly be able to think better then.

I do truly hope that you and wife can get back together.. that's certainly the best way to how things can get. But then again, we wouldn't know...

Anyway, I do believe you are a good father and likewise, I should believe your kids like you too? If losing the custody mean no seeing of your kids anymore? I would encourage you to fight for it. You certainly deserve that love from your kids...

Perhaps it would also be good to talk to your kids and get to understand how they felt and who they would like to be with... but nevertheless, you have to get yourself well first, Mario. I believe you will... Wink
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whiterose
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mario, Mario. Im so sorry to hear your situation. But don't lose faith in God! God does no evil. If you believe in God, you should also know of Satan too, right? Satan works evil around the world. But do you see all the goodness of the world too? That is from God. God would never put you through such pain;only evil would. There is a saying, Mario." Is wasn't God who put you through it; It was God who GOT you through it. " Do you go to church? If not, why not try going; I am Catholic, therefore, I do strongly suggest going to a Catholic church. Read the Bible. Talk to a priest; they're always happy to help people! I hope this is of some help to you. Good luck, and always have faith. God loves you, as he does everyone on earth. He's always there for you. Always.
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purple haze
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whiterose, I think you should take your own advise and read a few lines of the Bible yourself. Maybe then you will be more qualified to dish out dollar truths at ten cents a pop. I would suggest you start with Ecclesiaties, where God, yes God, allowed Satan to tempt the chosen few. Perhaps after reading the Bible then you will understand that faith is a gift from God; so you can't tell people to have more faith. God gives it to them, they don't just go and buy it at the local drug store.

I know I am being harsh with you, but you are not helping anyone on this board with your moral judgements. Somtimes people just want some comfort and a chance to be understood.

Mario, I am extremely sorry that this is your life situation right now. Is there a reason that you feel your wife will take the kids and not allow you to continue to be a father to them? If there is, then you certainly should fight for custody. If you believe that she is a good mother and will let you have access to the children and be a father, then you could always request joint custody. I have joint custody and it actually works well. You both have to be willing to put the children first though and not make them the intermediaries.

As for your own pain, I can empathize. It is not easy to be in love with someone that does not love you. I know that at times it actually hurts so bad that you don't think you can go on. Believe in yourself and your ability to be a great father. That is what you have to focus on right now in order to get through this. At first baby steps, then a few more steps, and one day you will lokk back and realize that you are over her. I pity her on that day, because only then will she understand what she gave up in you.

Do continue to post here. I am new to the forum, but we are all here for the same reason. No judgements.
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whiterose
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear purple haze...The words that you said did hurt me. There was no reason to be harsh. I have many things going on in my life, and I am hurting very badly right now. I...don't want to sound like Im snapping back at you, k? Im not at all.

Did I say I was judging anyone? Im not.
I never said anything about having 'more' faith. All I said was 'don't lose faith in God', since mario said that he was. I know that faith is a very sacred gift from our loving God. I was just trying to help him grow closer to God, okay? I never said anything about " You must have more faith!!!".

Is suggesting going to church and reading the Bible so wrong? That IS my way of giving comfort. Doesn't God bring comfort to you? And I know that God allowed Christ, and others to be tempted by Satan. I was explaining that it wasn't GOD behind the things that were going wrong, but it was Satan. Truly, Im sorry if you interpereted what I said the wrong way.

Also, I know that people come here to comforted. I am in need of it too...

It is kind of hard to understand each other on forums like this when you're not talking to the people face-to-face. I hope you understand now what I mean. I am certainly not judging anyone, and I am not treating FAITH like something that can be bought...Please, I am not trying to start a fight or anything, that's the last thing I'd want to do. Im just trying to make you understand what I meant. I am very sorry that you misunderstood. God bless. Smile No harsh feelings, k?


Last edited by whiterose on Mon May 15, 2006 5:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, we are all friends here; friends trying to help and provide some comfort for one another. I am sure everyone meant well... we are all just concern about our poor friend, Mario here.

Not hard feelings from anyone, yeah?


P.S. If you have been here with us, Mario, why not share with us more?
How's thing with your surgery?

I know we might not be really able to help you much but I believe a
pair of listening ears, we are all ready to be lending... Sometimes
you might just feel better to just to have someone to talk to...
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mario
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry i took so long to write back,

I try my best to keep my marriage or my family together, but sadly
everything fall apart.

In august 02, 2006 she decides once again to walk out from our home for no reason at all. NO EXCUSES, NO ANSWERS, just simples words like
i can't take this any longer...

Grabs everything, and walks out with my 2 kids again, saying that this time there was no coming back.

She left again to her moms house, i went to look for her every single night, cause i couldn't take the situation not been with my kids.

Everytime i was looking for my kids, she become so aggresive with me, and all i want it to see were my kids.
She try to make me feel like a peace a sh*t everytime i ask her to give me back my kids, and to do her life the way she thought it was the best for her.
the 1st month with out my family, still with alot of question in my head, (WHAT HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY?) Since i didn't see any signs of getting back my family, idecide to look for help.

So i went to see those persons the reads cards, well this person tells me
that some a family member from her side was doing sometype of witchcraft so our relationship will go on pieces.
And that this person want it my wife to put her mind and heart on to a same family member.

After this Person told me this things, the first things to my mind was to go back home start looking for proofs or things that could help me see what really is happening.

I look a her cellphone calls, i was getting the idea that one of her cousins that just came from MEXICO a few years ago (Boy Cousin + Girl Cousin brothers), and me & wife never meet'em before, was getting to much communication with her all this years, i never tought something could be wrong cause they're family.

But i was wrong, Her cousin (girl) did something to my wife to put her heart and mind to feel something for her causin (boy).

After my wife left to her mom's and i try to go look for my kids to see'em, everytime i went over there, the cousin(Boy) was there too.
After seen to much of this, i just have to comfront him and asking if there was something between him and my wife, and he denined i ask my wife too she denined too.

I told the guy the he better step away from my wife, no matter what.
I comfront him on 9-16-06, in my wife's moms house, according to him the just to make me look and for him to proof to me that there was nothing going on between e'm the he was going to step away.

September 30 - They go out as family w/ other cousins too
October 14 - she goes out again, but this time by thier selfs
during this time, they both were still having alot of comversation by phone.

I could tell'em nothing because my wife acts like a maniac since the first time i comfront 'em.
I went back to the person that was helping me out, i pay this person to help me help my wife out from the situation that this people put her, cause was she's doing its wrong, getting involve in a relationship between family members.

So this person its helping me brake what ever withcraft they are doing to her.
And i'm looking a some results, Positive, since my wife its acting different
hopefully for the best of her,

This person told me that there's a witchcraft really strong against her and that this my take sometime.
Everytime i see the person that did this to my wife, i just would like to jump a kill this B*tch (she's pregnant at the moment) thats why i can do nothing about it, hopefully when she given birth to this child she ask god for forgiveness on everything she's doing wrong at the moment.
According the person helping me out, this girl is doing bad things to my wife
because she's jelous, because she's never been happy, she has 4 kids w/ different dad's and a new coming (w/ a different one too)

I just hate my situation, casue i been apart from my family for 5 months and only because this 2 animals crosses our lifes, putting in a bad situation the future of our 2 kids.

Right now i'm just waiting for my wife to cool down and to think more of the situation, i'm not putting any pressure to come back home, but she know that she's very welcome.

Hopefully God and this person could make her think whats best for her
and hopefully she decides the come back home with my kids soon.

5 months w/out them its been so hard for me, i cry every night, can't go sleep, not been working all this time, cause this really hit me really deep in my head and i can't think of anything else, but WHAT HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY?

Now i pray the lord to help her think better and to have peace on her heart and to make this bad people stay away from our family as far as possible.

NOW TIME WILL REALLY TELL, Was going to happen to my family...

I keep you guys post it.

Thanks for listening.
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey... thanks for sharing with us, mario.

I don't know much about witchcraft... but I do hope things will turn out well. And in anyway, you have to be strong, mario. Now, you are waiting for your family return right? Then you have to do your part too...

How are you going to win back your love and your family if you don't have the strength? If you can't support yourself, how are you going to support them? Wink
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mario
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:8194e9855e="scorpio"]Hey... thanks for sharing with us, mario.

I don't know much about witchcraft... but I do hope things will turn out well. And in anyway, you have to be strong, mario. Now, you are waiting for your family return right? Then you have to do your part too...

How are you going to win back your love and your family if you don't have the strength? If you can't support yourself, how are you going to support them? Wink[/quote:8194e9855e]

At this time I'm trying my best to keep focus on my work, but its been so hard to concentrate since all i have in my head its my kids, if they already eat, are they ok, do they need anything,...

I'm doing my best, cause i can't loose everything, like you said, 1st I have to help my self so i can help'em too.

Thanks for all your time in listening to our problems SCORPIO.
Im keep you guys inform...

Thanks
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Alegria
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Mario,

If I may offer you some words of advice. As mentioned by others, the most important thing that you must do is to take care of yourself. Allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings of loss and betrayl so that you can process these feelings. I also found that when I asked my family and friends to support me their support helped me to get through it all. I was suprised to find that as soon as I was open with others about my relationship struggles then so many people opened up to me and explained similiar situations.

I also would suggest telling your employer that you are having personal problems as I know my work suffered because of it. A good employer will be understanding. My employer suggested that I take some vacation time and at least they knew why I was so absent minded.

So, please dont beat yourself up. And, I wish you all the best.
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Broken Rainbow
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry your post started to turn into a religious debate for a bit. Everyone has their own beliefs.
I'm sorry your going through such a terrible time. Your right, it isn't fair. You can't make someone stay if they don't want to stay. Just hope that she will come back to you. Try a seperation for awhile...don't just give her a quick divorce. As for your kids, make an agreement that you get them 50% of the time. It's not fair that your should lose everything let alone her. If she doesn't agree then yes you'll have to fight. Don't give everything up so easily.
Take care of your back first...your health is most important to make sure things work out for you as best as they can. I hope you find your happiness again.
Take care and good luck.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 5:05 pm    Post subject: Re: so hard to explain or understand this....... Reply with quote

[quote:ea94d509e6="mario"]I found this forum by luck....
and don't know if I'm in the right place to put my situation on here.
just like to let the world what i'm passing through.

My name its Mario, on 30 years old
I'm married to my wife for 8 years and we have 2 kids (boys 6 & 5).

After knowing my wife for 12 years,(1 year as friends-3 as boyfriends and 8 of marriage)
she now come to me and says, she wants to break our relationship.
that she wants live me and she wants to be free........and take the kids w/ her.

I considered myself the best husband, the best partner, the best parent, the best person the could always trys to keep the whole family together.
I'm always at my kids doctors check-ups, schools activities, church activities, family dates out. always as a family, always have time for my kids and my wife.

I always treat my wife w/ respect, I Love my wife, i have gave her all the love all the attention she needs, I'm a hard working person always looking to give the best to my family.

My cofusion is the decision she's taking right know,
she's telling me that she doesn't feel or like been in our home no more.
and that she wants to leave. but w/ the kids too.

We have never had any confrontations in past, never.
for me this is something shoking.

I have talk to her really clear and that i need a better explaination
she nows tells me that She never felt anything for me, and the only reason
she was w/ me and marry me, its because she didn't know what she felt for me back then. now she realized that she knows very clear that she doesn't love meor ever did.

I ask her that if she never love me, why did she decide to bring 2 lovely kids in our lives, she answer because she wanted to have kids.

I keep asking her, but what about me? You don't care what I feel?
...............no answer,
I love my Kids, I love my wife

I just could help myself looking at her wanting to leave.
so I let her go.................w/ my 2 kids.
I wanted to die, but just thinking of my kids,, keep me alive.
The pain was so deep, I dicide to give her time to think about what she was doing, but seens to me their was no sign of coming back.....
10 days past and I just couldn't keep up.

My pain was making me make stupid decisions..
I beg her that i can't keep going with out her and my kids........I beg for a second chance, to try to work the situation, I told her to do it for kids
our kids don't have to go through all this because we the parents made stupid decisions...........

she ddecide to can back only for the kids, but only for them, not because of me.
after 2 weeks of all us together, for no reason I colapse to the floor, with no control of my legs, i was in shock, Doctors found on my lowerback, a big problem (hernia in my bones)
I need Urgen Surgery.......it means that I may become paralyzed from my legs and never walk again.........
after to many days with this pains on my back, and been with family.....
I decide to ask my wife how its her situation as been part of the family
If she was still wanting to leave........the answer was "YES, I still want ot leave........."

I have decide to give her freedom again......... but I still afraid my situation w/ my kids
I don't know if I should fight my kids custody or just let her take'm
I know that they are going to be better w/ their mom cause she a good mother.
But I love'em too, I'm a good father too.
but my situation its very hard
I'm fighting for my family, and fighting for health too.

I 'm loosing my faith in god, cause its not fair my situation,
I have done everything as god tells us to do. Always
been the best person you can be.

Crying or Very sad[/quote:ea94d509e6]


Man.. hang on to God.. no matter what happens. Unlike you wife..he will never leave you. Trust me on that one. God does give us free will, some take it and run with it. Others try to do the right thing. Stay strong and good. If you want to see your kids, than go for it,dude. They will know you care to see them and want to be with them. Good luck with everything !
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