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He's just a friend - but... I dunno

 
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Shadowfax
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Joined: 08 Feb 2010
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:55 pm    Post subject: He's just a friend - but... I dunno Reply with quote

It's a long long story but I'd be glad if you read it.

Okay. I'm 18 years old, he is already 30. I've known him for 1,5 years now. We are in the same sports club, therefore I see him regularly. We also share a care to drive to the club. Since a friend of us moved, we are only two left of the club in our town, we always drive together.

I like him a lot. When we are alone (in the car for example), we speak a lot about everything. I really really like him but I don't think that there can be more. He's like a brother for me. I don't know what I want. We squabble all the time and can't stop it. But I'm sure that we like each other a lot, it's just unspoken.

I'd like that our friendship becomes closer. But I don't know where I stand with him. He said to me that we can meet sometime, I should call him when I'm in town one evening... but I never did it (before yesterday). One time I asked him to go ice skating but he didn't even answered Sad He said we could meet sometimes but he always wants me to call which I never do... why doesn't he call me?

Yesterday was strange. In the afternoon we were together at the sports club. My friends had no time in the evening but I didn't want to sit alone all night so I asked him what we planned to do. I didn't asked him, I simply said I'd come along. He didn't disagree. I wasn't sure if I'd really do this (go out with him and his guys who I don't know and they are all his age). But later a friend of mine called me that she would like to go to the cinema.
I said to him that maybe I'd meet him afterwards. He said: "You don't do it anyway."

So he dared me to. My friend and I met him and his two friends in a bar. They didn't seem to be that happy about our experience but it was quite funny then. He wasn't really nice to me and I didn't hug him as I do awalys. Don't know why. Simply didn't want to. We only stayed a little longer than half an hour before we drove home. Don't know whether it was good or bad to visit him there?

When we're alone he's sometimes saying strange things to me. I told him I was in town but I didn't call him, then he said: "How will our relationship go on?". Or when we are squabbeling and I say something like he's an idiot, he says: "Oh, I know you like me deep inside you heart." Or once he told me that I could be a more nice to him, for example smile at him. I know he's only making fun but...
I don't know why he's saying such things...

Okay, everthing sounds like I have a big crush on him. It's complicated. I like him a lot, I could never imagine anything more. It's complicated.
I'd only like that our friendship gets closer. I'd like to meet him more often, not only for sports. But I can't simply run into his "boys nights out". I think if my friend would have been with me yesterday I wouldn't have had the courage to go to this bar.
With our friends from the club we were some together som times before. But most of them live too far away that those evenings are very rare. Only him and me are left in our small town.

Can you imagine how I feel? I don't know what I want and I don't know how you can help me, but... I can't stop thinking about the whole thing! I don't want that other people think that I have a crush on him. We've been told once that we would be a nice couple and we are squabbeling all the time. The thing is, we can't stop it no matter how hard I try. I just like it!

Maybe I'm mailing him tomorrow... I'll see him again in two weeks. Sorry for the long text and if there are any mistakes in my writing.
Do you have an advice what I can do? Go on like this? I don't want to break contact with him. Try to meet him alone? It's so complicated. Can you imagine how I feel? What would you do?
Thanks.
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