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1st date or last?
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Scarlett
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:24 am    Post subject: 1st date or last? Reply with quote

[color=darkred:ae875c7290][/color:ae875c7290]Okay, so explain this to me. This guy who works for my company but in a different building had been begging my co-worker to set me up with him for months. At first, having just been badly hurt in a r/s, I told my co-worker I wasn't interested. Then heard that this guy was again begging my co-worker and my co-worker finally told him, you're 40 yrs old, ask her out yourself! That took 3 months and he finally asked me out so we talked on the phone a couple of times and went out to dinner last weekend. We had a nice time. I thanked him for dinner and we even kissed a little - very nice Embarassed Anyway, he said let's do this again (code for "later") and I went home. Come Monday, I am feeling kinda embarrassed and decide if I see him, I'll just play it cool. Well, he ends up coming over to my work and rides up on the elevator with me and is acting all attentive and nice and even whispers in my ear "you look nice". We talk a little bit at my desk and he says I'll talk to ya later. Of course, Tuesday, being Valentine's Day, he purposely stays away - which is cool. Then Wed night he calls me, asks me if I had a nice Valentine's Day and we talk a little. Then he says he has to go. That he just called to see if I had a nice Valentine's Day. That was it. Never saw him the rest of the week, never called, never asked me out. What do you make of that? Of course I am busy with my own life and work and 2 kids and friends, but weird or what?
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perhaps he is in some way shy or... Well anyway, I guess it's too early for us to be saying anything. We shall have to wait and see if he does make any further approach...

But might I just ask, how do you personally feel about this guy? you mentioned that you had a nice time over that dinner with him.

Nonethless, I guess it's good to just take things as it comes. No hurry rushing into anything now... You still have your responsiblity over your work and of course your kids to be better taking care of? Wink

Anyway do share with us if there are any new story from him...
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*3yearlovemaster*
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

maybe he thinks that you dont like him or something..or he is afraid of getting hurt if you said no..maybe you should face him and ask him out..
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Scarlett
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 5:29 pm    Post subject: 1st date or last? Reply with quote

Scorpio: Thanks for the reply. How do I feel about this guy? Not sure yet, but I am definitely attracted to him and he's a great kisser. However, this has not served me in the past! I am thinking that if I am attracted to a guy, it's usually the kiss of death for me. My co-worker (a guy) said he must like you if he called you. Maybe he wants to be friends first. (New concept for me but probably a good idea!) He did say he was married for 8 yrs and hurt badly. Maybe he needs to get over that first.

3yrlovemaster: Thanks for your reply also. Since I am a 40-something "redater", everything I have read thus far says NOT to ask the guy out, that the guys like the chase and to play it cool. So I guess I will. But, the risk in that is the guy might think you don't like him. Why would I kiss him if I didn't like him? It's not like I go around kissing guys all the time. I've been "lunching" with this other guy (30) for 6 mos and we haven't kissed yet! We get along great, but I am not feeling it with him because of the age difference. Oh well...we shall see what happens.
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*3yearlovemaster*
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i understand what you are saying..yes i whole kiss thing..but maybe he thinks you were doing it out or politeness..im not sure what to say to that because im not sure how intimate the kiss was..
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Scarlett
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: 1st date or last Reply with quote

tee hee...well, I guess I was extremely polite...tee hee. I also asked him if he dated much (in the last couple yrs) and he said usually only 1 or 2 dates and that would be it. I thought that was weird but figured maybe he wasn't ready. Then he mentioned a guy that I dated recently and I said "yeah, we dated for 6 mos." and he sorta freaked. He was like "What?! So and so made it sound like it was one date!" and I said "Oh, no, it was 6 mos and it didn't end well." So maybe that freaked him out. He said he knows the guy I dated and he is so conservative he couldn't picture us together and I said, yeah, that's why we are not together. But that was 6 mos ago and I'm over it. Life goes on...it's all good. So maybe he's got a lot to think about...so I'll let him think and get on with my life...I'll keep ya posted! Thanks for your input! wink:
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*3yearlovemaster*
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey no problem..always here to help.
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm... only 1 or 2 dates? Perhaps he is really more of the shy and timid kind and is somehow feeling a bit scared.

Well, anway I does agree with you Scarlett. It does sounds a better idea not to be asking him out. If he does like you he should be courageous enough to be asking you out... let him be the one to be doing the asking.

On your part, I guess you should be still seeing him during work? Just be your friendly self and drop him a little nice warm smile of yours. Wink
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lollypop
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 4:30 am    Post subject: Re: 1st date or last Reply with quote

Maybe he is also a conservative guy and seeing that it ended with the other guy that was coservative, he might be sceard that it won't work out.
Do u still see him at work do u guys talk at work?
If so then my question would be why has he not asked u out on a 2nd date?
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Scarlett
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 6:19 pm    Post subject: 1st date or last? Reply with quote

Hi Lollypop,

Thanks for your response. No, he isn't a conservative guy. They are both cops. (That's probably the biggest flaw right there...lol). The former one was a major CP and spendthrift. He actually told me I was financially risky (while he has been separated for over 4 yrs and lives with his parents!) He's 45.

This latest one seemed to be more like me, not bothered by the little things and just living his life. He is definitely not conservative as he wore earrings in both ears on our date. No, I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks which was the Monday following our date when he was all attentive and even whispered in my ear that I looked nice - something he didn't even say on our date. I figure maybe he's shy (?) or "not ready" but I guess I have to realize that that's his problem and he needs to get over it.

Now, my new dilemma is: Since it's been 2 weeks since I've seen him, IF he does ask for another date, I should probably say NO even though there is chemistry (it seems on both our parts). I also have been "lunching" with this other guy (who's 30) and seems to be a perfect match for me except there is NO chemistry on my part for him...ugh! I wish I could create my own Frankendate!! Oh well, plenty of stuff to do today so I'll worry about that tomorrow or Monday...ta ta!
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha, I kind of like your style Scarlett. To leave your worries to tomorrow or even monday... sometimes that's how we can be living a happier life Wink

And yup you are right. You can't be worrying too much about him. If he really like you, he ought to do what he ought to...

Well anyway, I don't see anything wrong to be going out with him if he does ask you for another date. We never know what the date could bring... I would say that having a Chemisty for one another is certainly necessarily for a relation to get started.

Anyway, you sounded like you been "lunching" with this other guy very frequently? I suppose he is the one always getting you to lunch with him?
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Scarlett
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 6:45 pm    Post subject: 1st date or last? Reply with quote

Yes, Scorpio, you are right. He usually initiates these lunch dates. He is only 30 so I am kinda reluctant to get involved, plus I am not really attracted to him (probably cuz he's NOT a jerk!). He is very respectful, we get along great but it seems like a little brother kind of thing to me. He has offered to cook me dinner at his house and wants me to call him. I don't know what to do cuz I want to stay friends but I know he wants more. (That's why I need a Frankendate!)

As far as the other one is concerned, since it's been 2 weeks, I don't think he will even feel comfortable enough to approach me again. I still don't get the whole reason behind the phone call the day after Valentine's Day -one guy told me he must like me and another guy told me he's probably just in for the booty call and figured I'm going to be too much work. So confusing!

If I could just smush the two of them together - I'd be all set!! LOL
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's life..., you can't have both the pie and the cake all the times.

Well for the younger guy, maybe you should let him know that you really appreciate his kindness and effort but only as a friend, a good friend perhaps... I am sure he wouldn't mind being friends with you. And if feeling later really got developed from this friendship, then...

As for the other guy, we wouldn't really know whether he be still calling. Btw, you hasn't seen him at all even during work?

Anyway, I suppose you still have your other pioritiy as a mum to be looking after your family? Just take things as it comes... you never know, perhaps you might met some other cool guy?
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Scarlett
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 12:01 am    Post subject: Update on 1st date or last... Reply with quote

I guess it's good I can laugh at this, but that JERK that I went out with on one date and kissed, who hasn't called me for over 3 weeks shows up at my desk today!! I wasn't even going to talk to him cuz I really don't care and think he is a waste of my precious time...anyhoo, just thought I'd update you guys.

He came right over to my desk and said "Sorry I haven't called ya but my mom was real sick and my ex is taking me to court." (Wonder how long he rehearsed that speech). Then he went on and on about how hectic his life has been. I said, "Oh, that's too bad, I know, I've been real busy too. Is your mom okay now?" (cuz I'm polite like that! - darn parents!). He didn't even look at me, just yeah and then started bitching about the guys I work with blah, blah, blah. I think the only reason he even bothered to talk to me is cuz he had to see someone on my floor. I pretty much brushed him off. He said I'll talk to ya later and I said yeah (thinking whatever!) Then I got a parking ticket in the mail from the City for him. Now, I know the deputy that wrote his ticket and I can get him out of this, but do I want to? Not really...tee hee.

Anyway, I figure IF he has the nerve to call me, which I don't think he will...I will tell him not to insult my intelligence, that I pretty much got the idea when he didn't speak to me for 3 weeks - I'm not an idiot. (He parks in the lot next to mine and I saw his car at work everyday - plus there are phones and email - what a dick!) Anyway, then I'm not even gonna listen to his excuses, I'm gonna say "Good luck with everything! Bye!" (So long sucker!) Laughing
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey thanks for the update, Scarlett.

Hmm.... you know what? I like your style Scarlett. Being frank and just saying what's on your mind Wink

Parking next to your lot everyday? That guy sure has a motive. But whole 3 week without doing anything... that's sure a bit of a too long. And anyway(no offences for saying) was just wondering what was it that his Ex is actually taking him to court for? Just thinking here... if it is for something that isn't really nice then he might not just exactly be a nice guy??

Whatever it is, you are right Scarlett. It really kinda of no point making yourself troubled over someone who doesn't really want to help himself...

Stay happy, you never know what will just come next.... Wink

Well, Good luck to you too Scarlett
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