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Girl from work / love triangle , very akward situation

 
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Ryan2000
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Joined: 07 May 2009
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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 7:27 pm    Post subject: Girl from work / love triangle , very akward situation Reply with quote

well i'm new here , found this site thru a web search , i sort of have this relationship question or problem you could say .

there is this girl that i meet in college a few years ago and then ran into again last summer when we worked at the same golf course for several months and i also meet numerous other people when there and so did she .

here's the problem , she more of less rejected all my moves and attempts at trying to date her last summer and fall ,last i saw her in person was the staff party that went sour in the end after she got really drunk . she knows that i liked her and really wanted a relationship with a girl my age . still confused as to why she wasn't interested cause she did seem interested when i first started working there and we even hung out a couple of times and she also liked my new car but it all didn't seem to matter in the end , she just didn't see me as an option .

now i'm upset after i found out what she was up to this winter , she and another co-worker from this golf course have basically been dating and seeing each other , i saw it all on facebook and all the posts and things they have said to each other and pic of them hanging out . it annoys me that i'm not good enough for her yet someone who lives 2 hours away in another city for the winter and has no car apparently is . and he allready has other girls in his life , like his facebook pic shows him and 4 other girls ( who also work at this same resort ) in it , i just don't really believe he wants a relationship with her and think he is just after sex . i'm actually rather angry about the whole thing and concerned i might have a shawn avery moment ( if you saw that on tv when he mouthed off about his ex's new gf a while ago ) at our staff orientation next monday . i'm really upset at the whole thing and like want to find this guy in person and basically punch him in the face a few times . now i know violence isn't the anser but i'm just not very happy about this at the moment .

but also is some other girls who work here or at resort so i don't want to make a fool of myself if there might be other options available . like there is 2 other girls who also work at the golf course that i meet last year that are very nice so maybe i have a chance with one of them ?
i also really need this job as i have not even worked since last fall as the job market here has been extremly poor since the recession hit last october , so this job is not one i can afford to lose .

anyways , i'm not sure what to do here , anyone have some advice ? how do i go about working beside someone who is dating a girl that i meet first and that he know i was interested in ? how do i go about her when i eventually run into her at work ? do i have to act like i'm cool about this when i'm not at all ? this is going to be so akwark and i'm not going to be happy if i have to look at them like kissing/ hanging on breaks at work or something its going to bother me so much .
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stp23
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Joined: 29 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2009 2:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I think that first of all, if you need to keep this job, then punching out the other dude is going to present a problem for your employment there...not to mention the criminal charges and legal bills you will rack up. Trust me, dude, it is never worth it in the long run.

He probably does want to have sex with her. She sounds like a beautiful girl and the fact that this other guy has a lot of female friends means he is probably a bit of a player. Of course, women are attracted to men who are attractive to many women (a no-brainer, but we need to remember this fact as it is a fundamental part of female psychology and the dating game), and at some point she has observed this and "latched" on to him. The comforting part of this for you, however, is that if he is a player, she will not be with him indefinitely and at some point they will part ways when he starts to play hard again.

Keep her as an option for the future, and strike it up with other girls, making sure that your original fancy sees you doing this. It will help reinforce in her mind that you too are an attractive option for her.
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Ryan2000
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PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="stp23"]Well, I think that first of all, if you need to keep this job, then punching out the other dude is going to present a problem for your employment there...not to mention the criminal charges and legal bills you will rack up. Trust me, dude, it is never worth it in the long run.

He probably does want to have sex with her. She sounds like a beautiful girl and the fact that this other guy has a lot of female friends means he is probably a bit of a player. Of course, women are attracted to men who are attractive to many women (a no-brainer, but we need to remember this fact as it is a fundamental part of female psychology and the dating game), and at some point she has observed this and "latched" on to him. The comforting part of this for you, however, is that if he is a player, she will not be with him indefinitely and at some point they will part ways when he starts to play hard again.

Keep her as an option for the future, and strike it up with other girls, making sure that your original fancy sees you doing this. It will help reinforce in her mind that you too are an attractive option for her.[/quote]


on the player bit , i did get the feeling last year that some of the girls were into him although i think it was more because of his personality than anything else as he didn't have the other things a bf would usually have like money , car etc . well he did get paid for work but seemed to blow all his money on beer . i honestly think she could of done alot better than him , i'm somewhat surprised they became an issue is they weren't one last summer at all .

on the possible lenght of there " relationship " , i agree i doubt it will last very long and see him having a problem with all the other girls in his life , her as well . as she also has alot of guys in her life . the tempatation to cheat or see others will be very great .

all this has also turned me off from her , just don't really think she is at all interested in me or that i could keep her interested if we ever did date . plus now i'm concerned where she has been if you know what i mean , there is so many std'd out there i'm rather concerned about the amount of guys she has been with . don't see her as that ideal gf anymore , but it hurts me to think of what could of been and that she'd rather be a slut essentially over being my girlfriend .
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stp23
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PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2009 8:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A lot of girls, and women of course, will date guys who are beerboys or riff-raffish. It's a challenge for them to straighten them out, and when they do have them under control, it's a satisfying feeling for them: it's called domestication, lol.

I still wouldn't write this girl off if I were in your position. She sounds like a beautiful girl, and probably a lot of fun to go out on a date with. Why not ask her out? Get to know her a little better, have some fun on a cool outing, and see what she is really like.

Just my .02
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