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Please help...

 
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Anonymous2009
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:35 am    Post subject: Please help... Reply with quote

Hello everyone,

I am going through a phase and I don't know what to do about it. I am 30 years old. I am a "straight" female. I have been my entire life. I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of three months. Of course the relationship is brand new. Everything is going smoothly between us. I care about him a lot. So far, he has been a wonderful boyfriend. I work as an Activity Assistant at a Nursing Home. There is a female LPN who works on my hall. When I first saw her, (which was back in November, 2008), I could not take my eyes off of her. She is so beautiful. She's very quiet and rarely says a word, unless she is talking to the residents. I asked my boss about her, and she told me her name, but said she keeps to herself. When I first saw her, I kind of figured she was gay, and I guess it's because she dresses boyish and wears her hair in a ponytail. I don't know how I knew, I just knew. For some reason, I am having really deep feelings for this girl. I can't stop thinking about her, and I can't keep my eyes off of her. I wrote a note and gave it to my boss to give to her. She actually read it! My boss was talking to her one day and she asked my boss if I was married. My boss told her no, but I did have a boyfriend and two kids. She told my boss that I was cute. I wasn't trying to date her, only say hello, introduce myself and get to know her. Ever since then, I have not been able to take my mind off of her. It's weird, because I have a boyfriend. I have never, ever in my life been so attracted to someone. She is gorgeous and everytime I walk past her, I get butterflies. Even though she said I was cute and asked if I was married, she doesn't talk to me at all. She acts like I don't exist. I was told that she was very bashful. I have written her several different notes, but have yet to get an answer out of her. I don't know why I feel this way, I just know I have deep feelings for her. I admitted to my boyfriend that I had feelings for a female. He was very understanding about it for some reason. I am not making plans to leave him for her or anything like that. I just want to know why I am so attracted to her the way I am and why she won't talk to me. I catch her looking at me all the time. She just won't speak to me. Why is that? Can someone give me some insight on this situation? It's driving me insane.

- Anonymous2009 Confused
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Anonymous2009
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Reply with quote

11 views and no answers. Wow. I thought this was a place for advice.
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Anonymous2009
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PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2009 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

30 views and no advice. Wow.
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stp23
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PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2009 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Anonymous2009.

I am a straight male, with zero inclinations towards other men, so I don't think I am exactly qualified to answer your post, but since you have asked three times now for some commentary, with no replies, I'll give you what I can.

First, you state you are a "straight" female, but according to what you have written, you sound bisexual. It may be something you have carried unknowingly, or it may be something which this particular woman has brought out in you, but regardless, you are attracted to other women.

Now, this LPN who you fancy sounds like a very attractive woman. There are many attractive women, but this one has you infatuated. You have sent her several notes, including one through your supervisor, and this is where I think you should be careful. Is the object of your fancy also bisexual? Because if you are not sure, you could be setting yourself up for some job disaster.

If she reciprocates the interest and pursues it with you, you might be alright, but if she is not interested, you might find yourself facing some sexual harassment claims. I really would be careful if I were in your shoes. The fact that she is not pursuing things with you indicates that she is not interested in your feelings, and you shouldn't go any further. On the other hand, if she is inclined towards other women, she might also not be interested in you as she knows that you are in a relationship with your boyfriend. Either way, she still isn't pursuing things with you, and if you are on the job, watch out! You'll potentially be in a legal mess if you continue sending notes or making comments to her. As well, since you are in a relationship with your boyfriend, then you should pause and consider how things will turn out with that if you continue to be infatuated with the LPN.
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Anonymous2009
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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your advice. She is 100% gay. My situation has been solved. She does not date bi-sexual women because she did it once before and the woman could not make up her mind, so she left her for the man. So she's been really hurt by that. Thanks in advance though.
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Anonymous2009
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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh and I forgot to add, she wouldn't file a sexual harrassment claim because she doesn't want anyone on the job to know she's gay. If she was going to do it, she would have done it a long time ago. She emailed me and told me how she felt.
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