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Can someone please help me understand?

 
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masbury
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:23 am    Post subject: Can someone please help me understand? Reply with quote

My ex and I started seeing each other almost 7 months ago... spent lots of time together, talked about moving in together in the future when we are both ready, he has brought it up at times, and I have also. I decided to move closer to my job and found a place (moving Saturday) and asked him if he wanted to go ahead and move with me (asked him towards the end of March when I found the place) and he was not ready at that time (just started a new job and wanted to see where it went 1st), so I accepted that and didn't bring it up again. He started to sort of act a little distant at times after that, like pulling away sort of, but still wanting me to go stay with him (which I did about 3 days a week) and when i wasn't with him he would call me every day, and sometimes even a couple times. Well then the week before last, he called and out of the blue said that in like 3 months, he wanted to see where we were and his job and if things were going good, that he wanted to go ahead and move in with me then. Then a week after he said that, he called to break up with me (said he wasn't attracted to me now and this was a few days ago), and wanted to be friends... I told him I can't just hang out as friends because of my feelings, he understood and I went to get my stuff. I am in my 2nd day of no contact, it hurts a lot, and I dont understand where and why this happened, can someone help me understand? thank you!
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Lisa843
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only way you will really understand is if HE give you an honest explanation....(which I doubt he will)
Sounds like he may have just found someone else...and that's probably why he was "pulling away"
I don't think people fall out of love or attraction over night....it takes time and intention.....

sorry you are hurting. I hope you take the time to heal and get back "out there" when you're ready. Things will work out, someone better will come along. take care. hope you keep us posted.
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masbury
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for responding... He said he hasn't found anyone else, and hasn't been looking, etc... do you think if he was seeing someone else, or interested in anyone else, that last week he would have brought up out of the blue that he may want to move in with me in 3 months or so, depending on what's going on at that time? then break up with me a week later? This is really heart breaking. He may help me move on Saturday, I'm supposed to call him tomorrow. If he does I'm going to be laid back and and happy go lucky as much as I possibly can.
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Lisa843
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 2:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="masbury"]Thank you for responding... He said he hasn't found anyone else, and hasn't been looking, etc... do you think if he was seeing someone else, or interested in anyone else, that last week he would have brought up out of the blue that he may want to move in with me in 3 months or so, depending on what's going on at that time? then break up with me a week later? This is really heart breaking. He may help me move on Saturday, I'm supposed to call him tomorrow. If he does I'm going to be laid back and and happy go lucky as much as I possibly can.[/quote]
..........................
Yes, I do...
like I said, IF he is lying and has found someone else...I doubt he would be honest and tell you the truth....
sad but that's usually the case. I know there are exceptions to the rule, but just from things I've seen and heard...most people that do things like that...will not tell the truth (which is crazzyyy...but it is what it is)

I may be wrong, hope I am in your case. Just be careful. good luck.
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