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Need advice interpreting her email

 
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beinguptogood
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Joined: 16 Mar 2008
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Location: Sydney

PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:54 am    Post subject: Need advice interpreting her email Reply with quote

Confused [size=12][size=18]Recently I had lunch with a woman I have deeply admired for some time. It was purely business related. The next day I emailed her to let her know of my admiration for her and interest in knowing her more personally.

My confidence in emailing her was based on my past experience of her preening in my company, and on the fact that women tend to find my appearance to be very attractive, and also in light of our having similar interests and ambitions.

I then regretted sending the email after not having received any reply, and on the following day I emailed her again to apologise, explaining my behaviour as inappropriate, impulsive, selfish, etc. I told her I did not regret the way I felt but only the way I dealt with it.

She then replied to my emails, reassuring me that I need not feel ashamed for sending the email. She said she was “not entirely sure how to respond”, but said she found my admiration “flattering”, and added that impulsiveness is not always a bad thing, because it can help us grasp opportunity as they arise, even if they don’t work out as we’d hoped.

She indicated as “pretty interesting” something about my personal history I’d mentioned in my apology in order to justify or excuse my ‘challenged’ inter-personal skills. Based on what I know about her I reckon this interest is because it might be something we share in common.

She then said in regards to her being “clear,” that (1) “anything more than friendship is unlikely for the simple fact that I’m already involved with someone else,” and (2) “But, it would be good to catch up and talk over a drink or coffee sometime,” and finally (3) “And as you know, I don’t bullshit much so I do mean that”.

Could you please advise me on how I should interpret these last three sentences of hers, overall? Do you think her use of “unlikely” in (1) is intentionally ambiguous? She could have been more absolutist. Similarly, in saying that her reason for our remaining friends is “the simple fact that …,” is she suggesting that were she not presently in a relationship she might consider my offer? Or is she simply being polite by not saying straight out that she has no interest in me? In light of (2) and (3) I’m not sure.

Anyway I replied to her email by thanking her for her understanding response, and by accepting her offer to meet some time to chat. I left it at that.

Thankyou[/size][/size]
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Metta
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Joined: 16 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I agree that she was somewhat ambiguous in the last three sentences and likely would have used stronger language were she setting things in stone, so to speak.

My opinion, as a woman and someone who pays close attention to language, is that she is definitely implying that she's attracted to you but that she isn't going to lead you on because of her current relationship situation. I would suspect that she would be interested in a date if the situation was different.

My advice is to pursue a friendship with her so that when her current situation changes, she can reassess the situation. Friendship is the best beginning to a relationship and with opposite sexes it often leads to more.

Best wishes!

P.S. Please offer your advice on my post in general discussion re: "7 year age difference" and reply if you have the inclination and time. Thanks.
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alinaboom
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Joined: 19 Jun 2009
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 2:33 am    Post subject: Need advice interpreting her email Reply with quote

We dont have alot of money left over between both of us, and we already requested a new appointed lawyer but was denied by the court without a stated reason. I have wanted to go with a lawyer we have been talking to before our court appointed and liked her alot but she cost way to much, and we have no funds to pay her.
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