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Dating married girl

 
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Graham668686
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:00 am    Post subject: Dating married girl Reply with quote

I'm currently going out with a married girl who after 2 months of this has said her husband has found a place and is moving out in the next couple of weeks. When I got with her she said that they havent been together since october last year but are still living with each other. I've been suspicious about her cause whenever I'm with her shes always mucking around with her phone. She has had phone calls when I've been with her during the night where she wouldnt answer. I've confronted her twice about this and she denys that she gets texts off anyone or calls but only one from a freak who wouldnt stop texting her and someone who apparently raped her when she was 15 who I sent a message to explaining that I'd call the police if he didnt stop hassling her. The others were from brothers or cousins. She would never show me her phone. I've nearly split up with her twice now and she begs me to stay with her which makes it hard. She now says that this freak doesnt text her anymore and she let me look through her phone. However it just doesnt seem convincing I see a mirror in operation she texts me all the time and rings me. When I'm with her she seems to text although now I've confronted her it seems less. All I think is that she'll take further steps to cover up what I think she's hiding. One night not long ago she said she had a massive fall out with her husband and said she was driving past my work I tried to call but she didnt answer and she wouldnt come and meet me because she didnt want me to see her in that state which is what she sent in a text after trying to call. She replied that her child and her were used to it just like she has already said before. When I'm with her for the night I see the mirror of that a phone call her texting. I'm convinced she was with someone else and it was a way to stop our regular phone calls we had each night until the early hours. Just like the other way round when I'm with her.
When I have tried to split up with her she begs me to stay and comes out with the excuse that she never has showed her husband her phone and is just used to it just like he does with her. She says she loves me and wouldnt do anything to hurt me etc etc etc its so tough to let go when she says all this and tries so hard to "work it out" or "I'll do anything to prove I'm genuine"
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are dating a married woman, irregardless of if her marriage is on the rocks or not, she's cheating on her husband w/you. Do you really think that she is being faithful to YOU when she cheats on her husband?
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would find another girl.
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Graham668686
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:34 pm    Post subject: A question poser! Reply with quote

That poses a question Smile A couple who are married decide to seperate, when are they technically free and single to start dating again?
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Graham668686
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

argghh I purposely left my phone at home this morning in a hurry so I could have some space. But I had 9 text messages and about 6 unanswered calls from her. The phone just rang again twice! It makes it difficult to make any kind of decision!
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:25 pm    Post subject: Re: A question poser! Reply with quote

[quote:d757e1d54a="Graham668686"]That poses a question Smile A couple who are married decide to seperate, when are they technically free and single to start dating again?[/quote:d757e1d54a]

Did they make it a legal seperation? You know with a lawyer? I think they have to be seperated for a while. If they have filed to end their marriage, then I think it is looked at as ok, but for me, I would wait until her marriage is over before sleeping with her. I mean..what if they get back together?
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you are asking her for too much and it isnt normal to look in someone cell phone and that she let you do it is a big thing. i mean if not even in her marriage she was letting her husband doing so, that she let you do so is a big thing. She got kids and family and it isnt abnormal that she is texting them much when she is in the middle of a divorce. fox talk alot together when that kind ahppene, and specialy with kids and family.
If you are together as long as one evening and a night then it is evident that she is going to get plenty of phone messages from kids family and probably the lawyer too.
give it a rest.
give her a break
the husband move in a couple of weeks, so why dont you wait for that instead? then all your questions will be answered. i think she is being very straightforward with you, and it is only your own insecurities who have you being so jumpy and unsure, not her. It all comes from within..
If she had soemon else she wont be dating you at all, get real!
Try to separate your own fears from the facts, and all will be fine.
If she hasnt been with her husband since october, then the divorce thing must have been hanging there since at least 1 or 2 years.. so this case is a sure one.
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Graham668686
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've had a chat about all this with a female friend (hey why not ask the same gender they know best!) and she saw some of my texts from her when my gf thought I was backing off again and she just said that she thinks she is playing me and she just wants her cake and eat it. She came out with lots of stuff to try and keep me. Things that would make me feel bad or guilty for not phoning her. For whatever reason she doesnt wanna lose. I wouldnt mistrust anyone I'd go out with unless I thought there was something sinister going on.
My previous gf I trusted completely there was no mistrust there at all and I never thought she was ever with anyone else at the same time, we texted each other and spoke all the time just like my current gf. We split up amicably so I have no insecurities from there.
Last night we met up for an hour again and amazingly enough there was a phone call at exactly 8:30 when I was with her just before we left each other. It was not a number that was stored on it and she wouldnt answer it. Her phone is a flip phone and as she opened the phone she closed it enough so the call would cut off. That number never phoned back if they'd have been "cut off" they probably would have. She said either they hung up or she accidently cut them off. That just suggests to me that she arranged that with a friend to try and wind me up. I'm sorry I have to dismiss the insecurities theory yes i do have them but they would never be this bad ever!
This relationship if I stay in it will only cause me lots of heartache and thats not what I want at all.
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you are sick. Have a talk with her instead of somebody else because if you present your story the way you did so of course you make fox suspiscious before hand. Tell her about it. You seems to forget that she has kids and family and is in the middle of a divorce, and the husband moving away soon, you could always tell her about your fears and that you will rather see her again when he has moved out, so that things will be more quiet around her at that time. If you believe that she is having some phone appointment with another guy just the minut you are supposed to leave, then your idea of her is very low, and i dont think you deserve her. It isnt nice from you to think this way of the person you are supposed to love. You are so much taken by this silly phone game that you have totaly forgotten your reasons to be with her in the first place.
If she wanted to cheat you as you said, she will just cut off her cell phone completely, and she might have cut the phone in front of you because it was her husband, or someone from the family she had a deal to talk to at that time, but rather not do so anyway, because you were there and she preferred to talk with you, but maybe also because you already harrassed her with your suspicions about the calls she received so she didnt want to worry you again. You are just looking for the worse, the nastiest, and i cant see why she should do that! Do you think she wants to come out from a bad marriage to come in into bad relationships? I dont think so. But one thing is certain: keep doing as you do, and you are sure of losing her very soon.
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Graham668686
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey I appreciate your opinion completely. You are the only person who has been on her side though out of alot of people. The thing is you havent been there when this is going on, it may not be any of my business what she does with her phone but it seems the phone has 50% of our relationship. Women are meant to enjoy their time alone with their partners, they need that but really is that us spending time alone like we should if the phone is going to get that much attention? Ok I suppose I'm jealous but there you go. For me if I went out on a date the phone would be well and truly away unless phoning for a taxi and emergencies etc. Like I said before I never felt like this about my ex at the primary stages. Maybe we're just not suited for each other I don't know.
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Graham668686
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

although enough about the sick cause I certainly aint that thank you.
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