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Don’t want to ruin my friendship Need help…

 
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bryant
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:24 am    Post subject: Don’t want to ruin my friendship Need help… Reply with quote

Me and my best mate have a rocky friendship to begin with, one day we were talking abt sex and she is like real innocent as I am. She told me there was something she did that i didn’t know about, after awhile I finally coaxed it out of her.turnes out she blew this guy. I cannot think of her the same, I don’t want to act weird about it but I can’t help it. What should I do! I don’t want it to ruin our friendship. I can’t help but to keep asking myself what was she thinks?
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't seem that innocent to me, if she can do this. Let me ask you..what do you want to see happen? Do you want to still be with her? Are you just friends now or more than that? What's the deal?
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what, should she drop you as a friend if you had a blow job done to you??! Shocked
but maybe thats not the same cause she has a vagina and you got balls, dont ya!?
what a narrow view!
Wakeup man, its not because a girl do a blow, job, specialy in a weird country like the state who classify blow job as non.sexual activity (! Shocked Laughing ) that she is suddendly another person and not innocent!
Maybe thats because she is that she was made into doing it...
Wont be the first one.
And as you had trouble getting it out of her, thats because for her that was a big things and she had problem talking about it.
You are really nasty to get her to tell you things like that in trust, her confiding in you, and to go spill it out on a forum!
If you coulnt take it, then dont ask for it, and specially dont insist.
She was right to hesitate telling you that, and maybe it is her who should reconsider being your friend since you think that way about her!
She was honnest to you, and trusted you tat much. If it was you, would you even have mentioned to her that you had something you couldnt said?
No. from what you say i dont think so.
She is a better friend to you, than you are to her, and whats essential in a friendship is not what the other does as his or her first sexual experiences, but how much oyu can count on each others and be loyal to each other. Thats it.
You should have told her what you tell us here, speak open with her about it, and maybe you should do it now. She deserve to know whom you really are, and how you look at her. So that her too can choose if she want to be your friend or not after knowing that.
But maybe you aint so hot at telling her that "you've got something to ide too, and that you aint so keen at revealing just like that" huh?
Have a nice day.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

? whats wrong with that? Confused
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, we might have had a President that don't know what sex is or how a husband should be and act. Laughing You you may be right on that one, but you are wrong to tell this person don't be open in what he posted. He is asking for advice and had to let us know. You are so free with your words, and what you want on the forums than anyone else on here, so you have no right to tell anyone what he or she can post.
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you dont understand it boy. It is not about that at all, it is about giving the guy the right perspective on things. He is seeing it from an angle that hinder him to see what to do, so i am widdening that angle so he can see his girlfriend view in it too, the other side of it, the pposite side of it. so he can look at both and think: alrigth, it can also be that way, and think about things he didnt think about before. his own limitations for exemple, and his own predispositions toward the other sex, and own expectation about what means being innocent and being friend, and to dont mix up certain things together who have nothing to do with each others.
And to can see where the prejudices he had plays in and color his view on those things. Prejudices he wasnt maybe aware he had, but thought it was as things are, as a universal rules, and never thought htat maybe it wasnt like that, that this universal set of rules he had, was just an opinion amoung plenty others and nothing more.
So that now he can relate to it and to himself in it, from a clearer point of view. Its about who is wrong and who is rigth and why, and what can suddendly change that and make the table turn up side down completely, so he is the one suddendly doing the wrong thing in fact, and he didnt thougth about that, because he didnt think about, what if i was in her shoes. thats about empathy. and vision. (and mostly about breaking inhibitions as well..). Very Happy Wink
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cayden
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:32 am    Post subject: Don’t want to ruin my friendship Need help… Reply with quote

I think you shouldn’t judge her to harshly. Even though it blew your mind. I think you should look at yourself have you acted in a way that was out of your character and if someone judged you on that one act they wouldn’t truly know you. Soon the awkwardness will fade. Are you really just feeling weird or...jealous? Also Get some more suggestions from www.vois.com
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, this is true, there si some note of jealousy in what he is feeling, like if they were more than friends and she had been with another guy.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well as you stated, you 2 are friends & as friends, if you are her true friend, you may not agree w/what she did, but you should still be her friend. I think because you know alot about her & think of her as "innocent" her doing what she did to another guy most likely shocked you.

I have had situations similar to yours in the past w/friends. They weren't a sexual situation, but more like I didn't know a friend could drink or part as hard as he/she did. So I was a bit shocked by that, but in time the shock wore off & it didn't hinder our friendship one bit.

I believe in time the shock of your friend telling you what she did will wear off, that is, if you TRULY want to keep her friendship.
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quinnquinn
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

if you don't want to ruin your friendship then try to make strong friendship with her.and she thought about you ,i don't know.
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Mike Master
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now-a-days true & sincere friends are difficult to be find. In our life people come and go, Everybody is looking towards his own mean. No one considers someones feelings, likes & dislikes. These Materialistic friends just come to fulfill there mean, then they through them into dustbins.


Mike Master

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Coolchick
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 5:52 am    Post subject: Re: Don’t want to ruin my friendship Need help… Reply with quote

if you guys are real friends you can get through this. Everybody has some secrets, friends tell each other stuff like that all the time because they trust each other.
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