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Do Not Know What to Do or Say
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Sweetpea_22
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[b:2d5b82a958][color=darkred:2d5b82a958][/color:2d5b82a958]Well, looks like we are the verge of a breakup. He called me all of a sudden with an attitude about something that happend three months ago. I felt like he was mad about something and decided to call me with his emotions. Ok to the point,..... he called me yesterday and sounded like he was ok when I answered the phone. He asked me how was I doing and everything and I told him how much I missed him, (we have not seen each other face to face for the last two weeks). Well, then he said, Can I ask you a question, and I said yeah what is it. He said did you use my cell phone one day to call a friend of mine named Shania asking about me and how she knew me. I told him no. And he said well I hope not, because someone called me saying that you asked them how they knew me (he did not tell me if it was her who told him or someone else) and I did not ask him. He said the person did not tell him who it was, but he figured it was me. He said that he was going to find out and if the number matches my number he is going to be really, really, really, mad. He sounded like a crazy person as if he wanted to cause me some harm. He said me and Shania do not go together we are just friends and I keep telling you. I told him the last time I used his cell phone was three months ago and he knows it, so why would he bring something up so old, and get really mad.

I did use his phone three months ago and called this girl named Shania, because I found text messages in his phone sent to her sounding like he wanted to see her and text messages back from her saying how she didn't want to see him and it was many messages sent like this. So I got suspcious and waited to I got back to my place and called her number from my phone. I tried to block my number and I asked her how she knew him, I did not tell her who I was. Well, she said we met in physiology class at college and became cool, and he is also friends with Joe. She said he calls here all the time to speak to Joe and we are all just friends. I don't know who Joe is, but I was like ok, I was just wondering because I saw this number numerous of times on his cell phone and different messages sent. Then Shania, was like no we are just friends nothing more. I was like oh ok sorry, she was like that's ok and we both said bye. So why we he wait till three months to find out. I am wondering was she holding to this information to get with him and use it against me or is he just wanting me to admit to it. I told him we can break up if you want, because he hurt my feelings by the tone of voice he was speaking to me in. He said that doesn't mean I want to breakup with you, only that I will be really mad if I find out it was you. He doesn't have room to talk, because one day he wanted to listen to my conversation on the phone when I was talking with a friend of mine who is a guy I known for about 4 years. My cousin told me he probably just wants to make me nervous and see if I would admit, but I am wondering how he found out after three months when I never brought it up to him. What should I do, because I told him we can stop talking, he just has to let me know by calling and telling me, but he has not called and told me nothing like that.[/b:2d5b82a958]


Last edited by Sweetpea_22 on Sat Mar 04, 2006 5:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you are not to be blamed for been suspicious Sweetpea_22. I believe any girl who see such a text message will feel the same way too. But nevertheless, any guy would naturally be angry if his girlfriend actually called on another girl to be checking on him...

I guess he must had just found out about it too. I don't suppose he actually knew about it that time or else he would definitely felt as angry back then.

I believe he will cool down in times to come. The tough part now is whether he would really traced back the number and found out it was really you. If so, I am afraid he would get even more mad. You were saying to try to block the number? I certainly hope he won't find out about it...

Anyway, that happened all 3 months ago. I believe for the past 3 months before he actually went for his further studies, things were ok with the both of you? And that Shania wasn't in the topic anymore?

I am not suggesting you to own up and apologise to him. By if you intend to, I guess you could be saying that it was all the past and you actually did it because you really care about him.. so much so that you almost "Fell out" with your mum because of him. Hmm... just a little "suggestion" here. No offences... Well sometimes telling a little white lie making the other party gulity might cool things down..

Nonetheless if he truly love you, he certainly won't be feeling any good either. No guy would like to be hurting his loved one...

Sure hope things could just end quietly...
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whiterose
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DON'T LIE! Scorpio, I know your intentions are all good, and I understand where you're coming from, but (and pardon me if I offend anyone with my beliefs) lying is a sin, and not only that, it can ruin relationships. A good friend of mine taught me this, though - "What he doesn't know won't hurt him" - but that really depends on the situatuin, of course. Im sorry to hear that your boyfriend is so mad over this. Well, if he does find out, just tell him what you feel. Tell him that you got worried about all of those messages and such, and that you got scared; yes, everyone who truly cares about their SO gets worried a least a tiny bit if someone else has been hanging around. Make sure he knows that you do trust him. Anyway, that's all I can say for now. Btw, is he always so sensitive to such small things? I mean, I know they're not nesessarily 'small', but he seams to be over reacting... Confused
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, perhaps my suggestion could be a bit incorrect... but it is truly a fact that you are willing and all ready to be with him despite facing objection from your mum. He should actually feel fortunate...

People does make mistake... but why the mistake? If the intention is "good" and which in this case it's because you really care a lot about him and this relationship of yours, it is certainly forgivable...

To be able to forgive and forget is one the very requirements for a relationship. I am sure he said all those words in a fit of anger.

Hope things has nevertheless cool down now?
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Sweetpea_22
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[b:8c86dbad10][color=darkred:8c86dbad10][/color:8c86dbad10]Well, you are all right and I thank you all for your advice. He did finely calm down, we had a nice, sweet, conversation over the phone, first it started out with some harsh words, but I did not say anything bad in return I just listened, and he just calmed down and said he was sorry, apologized and told me how me how much he really loved me and we want to stay with each other. I just continue to pray for us both so that we may overcome any obstacle. I did feel bad for lying, I just wanted him to calm down, but he knew it was me because, I told him that it was three months ago and told him everybody gets suspicious sometimes. We were kind of like in the begining of our relationship, where I was trying to find out everything about him no matter what. I thank you all for your positive and meaningful responses. It allows me to grow as an individual in this relationship and recognize both of our faults.[/b:8c86dbad10]
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 11:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Sweetpea_22, thanks for the good news.. Wink Sure happy that things went well for you.

Well to give and to take is a must in all relationship. I am sure the love between the both of you is just stronger now having going through and making it after all these obstacles...

Yup, that is still a long way to be going...

May true love be with you... hope that I be only hearing good news from you the next time Wink
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Sweetpea_22
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[b:8fb78cd4aa][color=darkred:8fb78cd4aa][/color:8fb78cd4aa]Thank you scorpio for your positiveness and encouragement. Smile We do have a long way to go and I continue to pray to God everyday. He is very sensitive, one thing I like about it is that when I am upset about something or feeling down about something that has happened to me he will ask me about it, listen, and would comfort me, but the other thing I do not like about it is that he hurts easily when someone disappoints him, even over small situations, or says something to hurt his feelings, he really goes emotional. Most people would think that mostly females are like that, but some men are like that too, but otherwise I still love him. I thank you and hope nothing but good comes your way also. [/b:8fb78cd4aa] Very Happy
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whiterose
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 1:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sweetpea_22, Im so happy to hear things are going well for you!
And always keep the faith in God, Sweetpea_22. Faith, Hope, and Love. Such wonderful things, aren't they? Just don't ever forget that God is always with you, helping you and guiding you. And that goes for not only us, but everyone. God is Love. Don't ever forget that.
May he bless you, and I will pray that things work out for you!
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Sweetpea_22
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[b:8d93ffe790][color=darkred:8d93ffe790][/color:8d93ffe790]Thank you Whiterose for your positiveness, encouragement, and taking the time out to pray things go well for us both without knowing me personally. Your thoughtfulness goes a long way for me and means so much more. Thank you and may God bless you! Very Happy [/b:8d93ffe790]
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