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confused

 
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ruthless
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:03 pm    Post subject: confused Reply with quote

Hi I really need advice. I'm a 36 year old female and have started dating a man 35 that I knew from when I was married. We have both been divorced. He has no kids I have two teenagers 15 and 16. Anyway we have been seeing each other for two months but have been intimate for over three weeks. He is in construction with his own project. He works close to 15 hours. The problem is he never has time to call or sms me. When I do call he never picks up. I have spoken to him about this but he says that he doesnt see who has called till he gets home or that he was too tired to reply to the call or sms back. He says he loves me and also we have made our relationship official. He wanted it that way. We have also talked about engagement. I am from Moslem background and I am Turkish which means I cannot actually be sleeping with him before marriage but anyway as I was born in Australia I see things a bit differently even though it is forbidden in our religion to have a relationship before marriage. Anyway oh before I forget what really really frustrates me is that he says he will call half an hour later but never does. I really am confused, everytime we meet up we are great together, he has met the kids we spend time together all four of us and he shows that he cares and has also said that he loves me nearly everyday. What makes it more confusing is that he actually popped the question the second week we started getting intimate. We have also spoken about if I wanted to I could keep my own surname etc........

I really am confused is he pulling me along just to make me feel that he is not using just being with me for bed or is he really that busy and tired that he cant call. Oh he had said to me that his timetable is very hectic and that there may be days he cannot call or see me, he had warned me and also said this timetable will get better towards the middle of March. He said if you want we can stay friends then when things get less hectic we can take things further. He had warned me before we actually got intimate. I'm really really confused, Please could you give me some insight on this situation.

Thanks
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:02 pm    Post subject: Re: confused Reply with quote

[quote:1d6721207e="ruthless"]Hi I really need advice. I'm a 36 year old female and have started dating a man 35 that I knew from when I was married. We have both been divorced. He has no kids I have two teenagers 15 and 16. Anyway we have been seeing each other for two months but have been intimate for over three weeks. He is in construction with his own project. He works close to 15 hours. The problem is he never has time to call or sms me. When I do call he never picks up. I have spoken to him about this but he says that he doesnt see who has called till he gets home or that he was too tired to reply to the call or sms back. He says he loves me and also we have made our relationship official. He wanted it that way. We have also talked about engagement. I am from Moslem background and I am Turkish which means I cannot actually be sleeping with him before marriage but anyway as I was born in Australia I see things a bit differently even though it is forbidden in our religion to have a relationship before marriage. Anyway oh before I forget what really really frustrates me is that he says he will call half an hour later but never does. I really am confused, everytime we meet up we are great together, he has met the kids we spend time together all four of us and he shows that he cares and has also said that he loves me nearly everyday. What makes it more confusing is that he actually popped the question the second week we started getting intimate. We have also spoken about if I wanted to I could keep my own surname etc........

I really am confused is he pulling me along just to make me feel that he is not using just being with me for bed or is he really that busy and tired that he cant call. Oh he had said to me that his timetable is very hectic and that there may be days he cannot call or see me, he had warned me and also said this timetable will get better towards the middle of March. He said if you want we can stay friends then when things get less hectic we can take things further. He had warned me before we actually got intimate. I'm really really confused, Please could you give me some insight on this situation.

Thanks[/quote:1d6721207e] I can't say for sure, but 15 hrs is like having two jobs to me. He may be tired. I get that way myself, and the last thing someone wants to do is hang on the phone. I know sometimes I don't take calls at all. I Just want to come home hit the shower, rest and be left alone. Don't be too pushy with him. Good luck with things.
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ruthless
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:08 pm    Post subject: I do get shity with him sometimes Reply with quote

Thanks for taking the time to read and reply to my post.

I will take ur advice. I do get shity with him when he doesnt call or doesnt make the effort, but he warned me about his schedule so I'll have to be patient I guess.

Thanks Brandon:)
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What exactly are you confused about????

He told you exactly the problem and its reasons: he is leder in construction, he is responsible for the entire project, it takes time, lots of time and being in contact with lots of people and working hard, and all of it at the beginning of a project is the planification of it all, and all must be in place, only later, when the project begin working and running on its own, there is more free room, and less things to take care about. and thats exactly what he told you: the first 3 months are hectics, but therefter it will be easier and >I will have more time for us.
I think he is very straightforward with you and that the relation is very good healthy and simple and that you are mjsut looking for reasons to worry..
he tells you he loves you everyday.. and is with you each time he has free.. take it easy, try working 15 hours a day and you will see how you have it after a week.. and how much you will be interested to talk with anybody.. if he dont answer is because he cant, and you msut remember that with this typeof work he gets 10 phone calls one after the other which he cant take becuse he is doing soemhting else very omnportant, and each of those person who call are important too, and he has to prioritise, and when he is done with one thing comes another, and those calls have to be answered and another one come and so n and so on.. so it leaves him no air to can talk to you and he dont want to talk to you when busy or in a bad mood. so you have to accept that when he is at work he cannot call you.. better get use to it cause when you will be married he will still ahve his job.. the same one... and be very busy too.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:13 pm    Post subject: Re: I do get shity with him sometimes Reply with quote

[quote:7de6d5c059="ruthless"]Thanks for taking the time to read and reply to my post.

I will take ur advice. I do get shity with him when he doesnt call or doesnt make the effort, but he warned me about his schedule so I'll have to be patient I guess.

Thanks Brandon:)[/quote:7de6d5c059]

You're welcome ! Very Happy
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ruthless
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:38475981e9="Ocean"]What exactly are you confused about????

He told you exactly the problem and its reasons: he is leder in construction, he is responsible for the entire project, it takes time, lots of time and being in contact with lots of people and working hard, and all of it at the beginning of a project is the planification of it all, and all must be in place, only later, when the project begin working and running on its own, there is more free room, and less things to take care about. and thats exactly what he told you: the first 3 months are hectics, but therefter it will be easier and >I will have more time for us.
I think he is very straightforward with you and that the relation is very good healthy and simple and that you are mjsut looking for reasons to worry..
he tells you he loves you everyday.. and is with you each time he has free.. take it easy, try working 15 hours a day and you will see how you have it after a week.. and how much you will be interested to talk with anybody.. if he dont answer is because he cant, and you msut remember that with this typeof work he gets 10 phone calls one after the other which he cant take becuse he is doing soemhting else very omnportant, and each of those person who call are important too, and he has to prioritise, and when he is done with one thing comes another, and those calls have to be answered and another one come and so n and so on.. so it leaves him no air to can talk to you and he dont want to talk to you when busy or in a bad mood. so you have to accept that when he is at work he cannot call you.. better get use to it cause when you will be married he will still ahve his job.. the same one... and be very busy too.[/quote:38475981e9]



Thanks for ur advice . Yes I understand how much strain he is under maybe I just needed some reassurance from someone outside the situation (see things more objectively) more objectively.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, that always helps. Keep smiling ! Very Happy
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ruthless
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:45 pm    Post subject: sure will :) Reply with quote

[quote:db1534dd03="Brandon"]Yeah, that always helps. Keep smiling ! Very Happy[/quote:db1534dd03]

Thanks. He really is a nice guy, I just love the fact he makes the effort to get to know my kids and wanting to spend time together all four of us and not just wanting to get into my pants.
Anyway I wont get shity with him whenever he doesnt return my calls or sms. Smile
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:50 pm    Post subject: Re: sure will :) Reply with quote

[quote:92f1476467="ruthless"][quote:92f1476467="Brandon"]Yeah, that always helps. Keep smiling ! Very Happy[/quote:92f1476467]

Thanks. He really is a nice guy, I just love the fact he makes the effort to get to know my kids and wanting to spend time together all four of us and not just wanting to get into my pants.
Anyway I wont get shity with him whenever he doesnt return my calls or sms. Smile[/quote:92f1476467]

He sounds like a good man. Works hard and not after you for sex only. Likes being with your kids is a plus too. Yeap, he sounds like a keeper to me.
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