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No...Spark?

 
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BlueCherokee
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Joined: 31 Dec 2009
Posts: 2
Location: California

PostPosted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:20 am    Post subject: No...Spark? Reply with quote

I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. (Actually, 8 months the day after Christmas) For the past couple of months, perhaps more, I have felt an emptiness to the relationship.

We have SO much in common, so many complex ideas and beliefs we share, we are both so open minded and both so self conscious of ourselves. I feel like he has everything I need in a relationship. The only problem is that I don't feel the 'spark'. Everything that society defines of as the feeling of love - I don't feel. I know that i did at one time when we were together. Why don't I now?

I found out that our relationship would probably be classified as a "companionate love" which means that the relationship has two of the three required factors - Intimacy (closeness) & Commitment without passion.

I really really don't want to break up with him over my inadequacies. Is it possible for the passion to build again over time?
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Cre8tive09
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Joined: 08 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would say sit and make a list of why your with him...and why you decided to committ to him in the first place. alot of times when you with someone for awhile the relationship can start to become like that...i would say try to spend more time together...do activities together that you both enjoy, etc. try to regain the passion..yall are still together so the relationship must be going well..you just have to continue to work at it..i say theres still a possibility of passion..its just all in the effort you and him are willling to make to keep it going...hope that helps.
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raiundazan
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Joined: 01 May 2010
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PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree. You just need more things to do together. If you believe that the relationship is worth fighting for, then why let go? Give it a chance and live one day at a time. You never know what the future has for your relationship Very Happy
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reallove
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Joined: 24 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How close are you? Are you both open to have heart-to-heart communication in expressing your concerns, needs and desires, putting egos aside and allow self to be vulnerable? Communicate to get the ball rolling. Who knows, he may be feeling the same as you. http://www.bestsitesforonlinedating.com
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LittleBee
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Joined: 11 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah jeez. Both of my almost relationships have been just like this. The first one I was seriously going crazy for the guy but he did not feel that "spark." and the second one it was me who didn't feel the "spark" for the guy. It's not easy but being honest here, the passion is missing because you lack physical attraction to him right? He can't make you completely happy if you are not equally interested in him mentally, emotionally, and last but definitely not least physically. In my experience this didn't work well for me but the choice is yours not mine.
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teaholic
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Joined: 04 Jun 2010
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Location: Vermont

PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Definitely agree with LittleBee over physical attraction. I was dating someone once who put on a few extra pounds. It wasn't much, but it was just enough to give him that rounded out belly that I abhor so much, especially because he used to have a 6 pack. At that point, my attraction died off, along with the relationship, albeit quite slowly...
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