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This relationship makes me feel like dying.

 
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unmei_Tenshi@ms
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Joined: 16 Mar 2010
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:15 pm    Post subject: This relationship makes me feel like dying. Reply with quote

What is wrong with me? I'm scared of this person that I have become and I want to say that I'm suffering from depression. However, I'm not sure if it's that or just me...being so "in love" with my boyfriend. Does it seem like an obession? Over-clingyness? I need some honest opinions because I really don't now what's going on.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We go to different colleges, but since his university is 1 1/2 hours away he comes back every weekend. This semester he has lessened that to every other week, which was a huge change for me. The first time he told me I got depressed and started crying in school. I can't drive because my parents won't let me even though I'm already a sophomore in college. Visiting him at his university is therefore impossible. He told me that he can't come back every weekend anymore because school is getting hectic and stuff, which of course I understand. However, on those weekends he ends up going out and drinking a lot with this roommates (Mind you, there is only 1 guy among 6 other girls. He said he gets along better with girls than guys. Lucky me, huh?). I know he loves me very much, but I can't help but feel so insecure and jealous when he's out at some college party and he can't talk to me. The past three semesters together he called and texted me a lot. We would always talk through instant messenger and webcam. I felt connected to him this way despite the distance. This semester is completely different though...He acquired a really close group of friends at his new dorm, which is composed mostly of girls. He doesn't call me much...I usually have to initate it. When I do call he can only talk for a little bit. I get online and when he's on I talk to him. We talk continously for 5 minutes, but usually he tends to slow down in responses. It takes him 20 min or more in between messages because he gets distracted with friends coming in the room. I'm so extremely jealous of these girls and friends he chooses to hang out with over talking to me, and I don't know how to control it. It really seriously hurts me and I have become so overly sensitive. Our phone conversations mean the world to me, and a lot of times he is too nonchalant and whatever. He doesn't seem to care or miss me as much as I miss him. When we hang up I always end up throwing my phone and crying. It hurts me so much that I think about how it'd feel like if I killed myself and if he would regret treating me like this. Stupid and crazy, right? I just don't know what to do.

I feel so trapped. I live at home and my mom drives me to school. When I don't see or talk to him, I feel like my life is so routine and I have nothing to look forward to. I cry often and I don't feel like getting up and going to school many mornings.

Oh, and in addition to all of this...he's leaving for China in May for three months. He is studying abroad in order to fulfill certain degree requirements. I'm so insecure and sad about this. My sisters tease me about how he's going to find a Chinese girl during the summer, and even though I know he loves me and reassures me that nothing will happen, I can't help but feel like **** every time I think about it. I don't know what I'm going to do when this time comes. I don't even know what to do right now when I see him every other week.

I really need some help. I don't know what to do, guys. Thanks for reading.

Clarification:
To clarify some things-- if he does go drinking, it's usually on Friday nights. On Saturday and Sunday he does get some homework done, but he also ends up hanging out with his dorm friends a lot during then and does not talk to me that often.

When we're together, nothing could be more perfect. We are perfectly loving and fine when he comes to see me, and he does spend most of Friday and Saturday with me before he drives back to school Sunday afternoon.

He is a loving boyfriend in person. He does reassure me that he loves me when he's at school, but his actions simply allow me to think otherwise a lot of times.

We argue when he's at school sometimes, and he gets so cold and later explains that he hates starting drama in school. I'm not sure if I'm seriously appearing too needy and clingy...

We made the transition from HS to college two years ago. The first year was difficult to adjust to, but we both got through it. I thought that it would get easier as time went by, but it seems to get harder when I don't see him every weekend. I have made some friends in my university, but I can really only hang out with two people from there. Everyone else are simply classmate buddies and nothing else.
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raiundazan
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Joined: 01 May 2010
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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 12:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aww, I feel so sorry for you. It came to a point when me and my boyfriend (NOW HUSBAND) would see each other only every after 2-3 moths bec he worked so far away. It sucked and I always would get into fights with him because I felt that he was too far away and didn't need me as much as I did him. Clingy? yes. Fighting didnt solve anything. All I did was wait. Patience is a virtue, indeed. 6 monts after he got a job near my place, he asked me to marry him. Be patient. If you really feel, in your heart of hearts, that he is being true to you, then waiting would be all worth the drama Smile
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