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I'm in Love With Two Women and Don't Know What to Do

 
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theidkid
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Joined: 13 Mar 2010
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:00 am    Post subject: I'm in Love With Two Women and Don't Know What to Do Reply with quote

I've been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for two years and I love her very much. We're compatible in every way that matters. However, I've recently moved a great distance away due to my job and I will likely be here for the next year or more. We talk on the phone daily and see each other for about one weekend a month.

As part of my job, I am working with a former girlfriend, a complete surprise to both of us. We were together for four years and are also very compatible, so compatible, in fact, that we've never once exchanged hostile words. We split on good terms and only because we were both so busy with school, work, and career building that we simply didn't have time for the relationship anymore. While working together, it has become obvious that we both still have very strong feelings for each other. The more we're together, the more I realize how much I still care for her. We've discussed this and while she feels the same, neither of us are willing to go anywhere with this because of my existing relationship.

To complicate things, the former girlfriend has had some very similar life experiences in the decade since we were together. We've both experienced the sudden death of a spouse followed by financial collapse., abusive relationships, the realization that our career paths were wrong and suddenly switching to a wildly different path, serious medical problems, and a few other things I don't care to mention. She's the only person I've ever met who understands what it's like to go through all of those things. However, my current girlfriend helped me through the aftermath of a lot of that. She was there to support me through a breakdown and the recovery from it. She doesn't know what it's like to to experience those things, but she is there to encourage me and hold me up when I need it.

So, I'm in love with two women and I have no idea of what to do. I've weighed the pros and cons on each side and they come out balanced, leaving me in an agonizing position. How should I proceed from here? How do I go about sorting this out? I'm confused and seriously in need of help as it's starting to affect other aspects of my life because I can't concentrate on anything else.
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wintoday12
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Joined: 02 Mar 2010
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Location: Jacksonville, Fl.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:18 am    Post subject: Here's an idea Reply with quote

I once had a smiliar dilemma and I closed my eyes and pretended the two were standing side by and I asked myself which one would I run towards, if I didn't have to worry about hurting the other one's feelings. I listened to my heart and I saw myself run to the right person. Try that. If it doesn't work, then consider this. Never stay with anyone out of obligation. I did not see you mention that you are in love with the girl you are currently with. Many times we know who we love, but we are concerned about hurting an innoncent person. Believe me, you would be doing that person a favor. Be sure you are not staying with someone out of a sense of obligation. You owe them the respect of having the opportunity to find someone who truly loves them.
I suggest you take a break from both ladies and listen to your heart. The answer is in your heart. You just have to slow down long enough listen.

Ms. Unique
sisterslovinglife.com
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raiundazan
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Joined: 01 May 2010
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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 12:51 am    Post subject: Re: Here's an idea Reply with quote

[quote="wintoday12"]I once had a smiliar dilemma and I closed my eyes and pretended the two were standing side by and I asked myself which one would I run towards, if I didn't have to worry about hurting the other one's feelings. I listened to my heart and I saw myself run to the right person. Try that. If it doesn't work, then consider this. Never stay with anyone out of obligation. I did not see you mention that you are in love with the girl you are currently with. Many times we know who we love, but we are concerned about hurting an innoncent person. Believe me, you would be doing that person a favor. Be sure you are not staying with someone out of a sense of obligation. You owe them the respect of having the opportunity to find someone who truly loves them.
I suggest you take a break from both ladies and listen to your heart. The answer is in your heart. You just have to slow down long enough listen.

Ms. Unique
sisterslovinglife.com[/quote]

that's the best advise i have seen in years when it comes to these types of challenges!
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