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My Man

 
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HalfPint
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Joined: 11 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:58 pm    Post subject: My Man Reply with quote

Hello,
My name is Tammy. I am from northern lower part of Michigan. I am writing cause i been with this guy that I'm with now for almost 7 yrs. We are not married but living with each other and sleeping with each other. I am writing cause i have concerns about our relationship. See i am very much in love with this guy and try to show him affection but it seems like every time i do he seems to push me away. I am the type of person that loves to be held and cuddled. When i try to cuddle with him he don't cuddle back. I have tried to talk to him about all this but he don't seem to want to talk about it. When i bring it up he tries to change the subject or wont talk at all. I don't know what to think about all this cause i love him so very much. I don't get the attention that i deserve and i feel that he is very distant from me. He has been in a couple marriages but don't know for sure how they really went. I try to talk to him about them but he don't want to do that either. I guess what Im asking is that is he using me or what cause i don't get the same feelings from him that i give to him. I'm really hurt by this cause i care so much for him and want to spend the rest of my life with this guy. He has given me so much and has helped me when i needed it. How do i get him to talk about things?
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

7 Years? That's sure isn't a short period to me...

Well, maybe he is the sort who is not into cuddling... But other than that, how is he treating you? You should know best...

How to get him to talk? Hmmm... maybe you can try by sharing yours with him first? That might lead to him wanting to be sharing with you too? Wink
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HalfPint
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:28 pm    Post subject: My man Reply with quote

I have tried to talk to him but he just dont seem to want to listen. I was trying to talk to him the other morning when he was getting ready for work but the impression i got was that he just didnt care. I told him that i need him to start understanding where im coming from. He didnt say to much after that. I just get to a point of where i just dont want to talk to him anymore and i think i would be better off on my own. Thats how i feel now cause he dont really listen so what difference would it make if i were alone. Sad
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, communication is indeed a must in all relationship. And that includes sharing of not only happiness but also the sadness and problems...

You did mention that he has given you so much and has helped you...? Was that like the past or is it still now? That could actually tell whether he does care for you...

But nevertheless, to be willing to listen to you is still what he has to do. He definitely has to know how you feel. If he love and care for you, he should want to be knowing...

Hmmm... just a thought here. To find a good chance to have some nice talk is of course ideal. But if it is not... then perhaps through writing? Rolling Eyes Well, writing can be a way of letting him know how you feel too. And he ought to feel something when he read it...
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AshleyRose
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe you should try letting him come to you for a change. he might be feeling smothered. Back off a little and let him do all the work for a while.
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hidesherheart
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Joined: 27 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite simply, you cannot change someone. He is obviously not an affectionate, cuddly, feely type person, and you are. I was once in a relationship very similar to yours, and I understand how you feel.
Secondly, sure, you "deserve" to be treated with caring and affection, but at the same time, doesn't he "deserve" to be the kind of person he is? You will never make him "like" it. YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HIM. That's the way he is.

So now, you have some choices to make. Either you learn to live with it, (taking into account all the GOOD things in your relationship) or you accept the fact that he is not what you need, and you move on.
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HalfPint
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 10:36 am    Post subject: My man Reply with quote

He still does those things for me like take me to dinner, help me when i need the help, He also helped my daughter move and put almost over 500 dollars into the move. If he is not the cuddly, touchy,feely type? Is there a reason for it? Did he maybe go through a rough relationship in the past. If so could that be why he is so distant?

Tammy
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 1:24 pm    Post subject: Re: My man Reply with quote

[quote:0eb1b96632="HalfPint"]He still does those things for me like take me to dinner, help me when i need the help, He also helped my daughter move and put almost over 500 dollars into the move. If he is not the cuddly, touchy,feely type? Is there a reason for it? Did he maybe go through a rough relationship in the past. If so could that be why he is so distant?

Tammy[/quote:0eb1b96632] Could be. I hope everything gets better for you. Very Happy
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a possibility. He could also be the type of person that may see doing things (such as helping your daughter & you) as affection. Like more a "doer" instead of cuddling, hugging.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Halfpint...I was wondering how you are doing? Feel free to pm me if you would like.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Halfpint, everytime I see your name, it reminds me of Little House. Laughing
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