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Keeping photos/mementos from a past [recent] relationship?

 
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Phoenix_Blue
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Joined: 11 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:09 pm    Post subject: Keeping photos/mementos from a past [recent] relationship? Reply with quote

I love my bf, i know he loves me, we're happily commited and even have a new baby. But I recently found out he's still keeping photos of his ex. I know everyone has a past, previous relationships, (he loved & was engaged to this chick, lived with her for a while, and apparently all not too long before we started dating about 2 years ago), and people keep stuff from past relationships all the time. My mom said even after she was married to my dad, she kept an old jacket or something of her ex's. He's pointed out a few times in our relationship at various moments there were things he still had that were once his ex's, or which he got together with his ex or when he was with her and it didn't bother me as much.

But what confuses and bothers me more is why he's brought it up so many times, after a few drinks of course, that he still has some in the desk in the next room- even asking if i'd like to see. Granted, I've asked a question here or there about his ex before, curious because it *was* part of his life [and ok, maybe a bit jealous, tho i know it went badly], but at the times he mentioned that fact I hadn't for a good while. Just a bit odd, non? Opinions?
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Coolchick
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think its ok but if he keeps bringing up the ex a few more times, maybe then its time to say something....

we all have pics of our ex but shouldnt be bringing him/her up anymore
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stp23
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't see a problem keeping a photo of an ex, or even thinking about the person for that matter, but it shouldn't involve showing that photo to the current person. You did say though that he showed the photo after a few drinks, so maybe you two were talking about her and the booze caused him to pull the photo out.

I think about old flames from time to time, but I don't obsess over them. We always have occasional feelings nostalgia for old places we once lived in, people we knew, past activities and dates and so forth. But to obsess over these things means that they are still predominant in our minds. If his ex is predominant in his mind, that is more than nostalgia and probably indicates that he still wants her. Beware.

Tell him to put the photo away and to replace it with one of you.
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Lisa843
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Joined: 17 Nov 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I keep stuff.
I think as long as it's done in a respectful way (not displaying them openly...and he/she don't seem to be "pining away" for their past love) shouldn't be no problem with it.

and if I am given a ring or something "material" I am not giving it back either...lol I wouldn't wear it with a new love though..I'd change it into something else...have it reset or something....lol
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Wolfey
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 10:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once something is in the past I try to never look back. Once you look back it stops you from moving forward.
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Brocolli
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am also keeping my ex boyfriends' stuff, its okay as long as you know the 'measure'... furthermore I won't show any of them to my current boyfriend.
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