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I need Advice Please...

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Joined: 14 Jul 2008
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 3:41 am    Post subject: I need Advice Please... Reply with quote

I am 19, Iíve never had a boyfriend or been on a date and I tend to be very shy around most peopleÖ.especially guys. I started a new job about 4 months ago and there is this guy that Iíve had my eye on for a while. He is 25 and he is one of the lost prevention guys where I work. I like him a lot and I think he likes me, but Iím having a hard time moving to the next step. Heís always calling me lady or beautiful and complimenting me. I like it and at the same time it's very uncomfortable. He asks a lot of questions about me and the things I like to do and tries to start conversation, but Iím not very good at keeping it going. I try to keep eye contact but Iím normally the one that breaks it. Heís so sweet, but Iím so afraid Iím misreading signs or that he's gonna think I'm not interested. Iím really having a hard time breaking the shyness factor when we talk, my mind goes blank and I clam up especially when he starts asking about my past. Does anyone have any advice on how to break out of my shell or at least let him know that I am interested?

Stp23Ö.you seem to have some very good advice so if you read this I would really love to read what you have to say.
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Joined: 29 Oct 2006
Posts: 73

PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey! Very Happy

I just read your post, and thanks for the compliment. Since you asked for it, I'll give you my take on it.

It's obvious to me that the guy has taken a liking to you, and is showing you, by his compliments that you are, in fact, an attractive lady. And the fact that you are attractive means that he is interested in you and is peppering you with some compliments in the hope of gaining a reciprocation of interest from you. He's making conversation to kindle things, and to see if you want to form a relationship. I think he may be a bit confused himself or it is possible (and I think more likely) he is holding back from asking you out because you are both in a workplace environment.

Here's an idea. Unless you haven't done so already, ask HIM out. It' s up to you where or when, but you'll have to make it clear to this guy that you are definitely interested in him. Suggestions include, a movie, a local attraction or event, or some other fun activity. And once you spend some time together there, definitely make sure that you brush against him lightly and put your hand into his, or better yet, your arm in his. Don't wait until the end of the date as you'll need to do it fairly early to establish things. Guys love this, and it will be a clear and unambiguous sign that you want him. And by the way, anytime a lady asked me out, it was always a flattering experience which led to a very good and memorable date. Like women, men [b]love[/b] to be flattered.

Here's a little trick for people who have difficulty making eye contact. First, you need to smile and to keep that smile. Secondly, if you are feeling nervous while maintaining eye contact, rub the toes of one of your feet into your shoe and focus on the feeling of the shoe. This is a little psychological trick I learned on an old job which required a lot of personal contact. Definitely though, smiles pave the way to lasting success, whether it be for dating, business, or just plain getting along with other people.

Good luck my friend and I hope this advice helps. You go, girl!

Very Happy
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Joined: 03 Aug 2009
Posts: 11
Location: Denver, CO

PostPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2009 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you aren't sure he's interested because of the work situation, make it sound like you're going out as friends. Suggest you grab a bite to eat or something like that after work. But you know he's taken the initiative and is waiting on a response from you, so now the ball is in your court. What you do with it depends on how bad you really want this. As for the shyness thing, remember he's a person, just like everyone else. I have a friend who's really shy and he has a rabbits foot he rubs when he's talking to people and it calms his nerves. I do not suggest you do this, as it's kind of weird and a little creepy, but like the person above stated with the shoe thing, find something to get your mind off of it, to distract yourself when you're talking to him, and it could help ease your fears a little. Like the song goes though, sink or swim you gotta give it a whirl! What's the worst that can happen? He'll say no and you move on to find someone better. What's the best that could happen? He'll say yes and it could develop into something great. Good Luck!
Fair Is Rare!
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