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. How to make friends?

 
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cayden
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Joined: 05 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 3:46 am    Post subject: . How to make friends? Reply with quote

I'm a part time student at college and I work at a daycare. I technically have five friends. Two of them aren't my friend's anymore, one of them doesn't seem to want to be friends if he can't have more than that, the other is probably playing mind games with me and well the fifth one is actually a friend. We can't hang out allot though because she's busy with schoolwork and stuff. Plus she doesn't live near me. Though thatís not a problem. I want to make two more friends who I can talk to and hang and do stuff with but I don't know how to. I was in counseling for a while and just recently got out. My councellor and I agreed that I'm ok now and don't need ongoing therapy. She said if I get a big enough issue that I can't handle then give her a call. Just when I think things are going kool with me in terms of friendship, it's seemingly backfiring. *sigh* How can I make friends at my school? Do I just go and start conversations with random people? I don't know.
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Brandon
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Joined: 25 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you really want friends like those guys? Think about it.
At school just say hi to people. Be nice, and if they want to be friends with you, they will. You can't make people want to be your friend. Others make that choice for themselves. Just don't put up with a lot of their crap or BS just to have them as a friend. It isn't worth it and they're not being a true friend to you. Good luck to you !
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alexis
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been told to just talk with as much confidence as possible. That doesn't mean you act like you're confident. You can still feel shy or nervous, but feel confident enough to know that there's no "right" or "wrong" way to talk. I used to worry about how to respond or if I was talking too little or too much, but now I figure that no one really knows; there's no formula. You just have to talk about things you want to talk about but make sure you pay attention to the other person, ask genuine questions, and support them by giving feedback and encouragement when necessary. I have just started becoming more comfortable with it and it is difficult, I think. But it can be done. Some people won't seem to respond well, but they probably have the same insecurities we all do about talking. Most people will be responsive if you talk and pay close attention to them, I notice. The key is to focus on the relationship you want to develop, not your apprehension. Make new friends at www.vois.com
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:e769ca5589="alexis"]I've been told to just talk with as much confidence as possible. That doesn't mean you act like you're confident. You can still feel shy or nervous, but feel confident enough to know that there's no "right" or "wrong" way to talk. I used to worry about how to respond or if I was talking too little or too much, but now I figure that no one really knows; there's no formula. You just have to talk about things you want to talk about but make sure you pay attention to the other person, ask genuine questions, and support them by giving feedback and encouragement when necessary. I have just started becoming more comfortable with it and it is difficult, I think. But it can be done. Some people won't seem to respond well, but they probably have the same insecurities we all do about talking. Most people will be responsive if you talk and pay close attention to them, I notice. The key is to focus on the relationship you want to develop, not your apprehension. Make new friends at www.vois.com[/quote:e769ca5589]

Well said. Very Happy
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alexis
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:8a89761ba3="Brandon"]Do you really want friends like those guys? Think about it.
At school just say hi to people. Be nice, and if they want to be friends with you, they will. You can't make people want to be your friend. Others make that choice for themselves. Just don't put up with a lot of their crap or BS just to have them as a friend. It isn't worth it and they're not being a true friend to you. Good luck to you ![/quote:8a89761ba3]

hey
Brandon is truly say i am agree with you,
you can make friend through it
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mary82222
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Joined: 16 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 5:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i agree with alexis.

its difficult i know but u just have to be more confident and positive around others. i was very shy when i was younger and found it hard to make friends but have overcome that and have many friends now. i think if u join a club or get a job where u need to communicate and mix with others this might help open u up a bit. just remember when u do start talking to other make sure u act genuine and confident but not overconfident, make the person feel good about themselves when u are around them by being positive and listen to what they say. as for your so called friends they probably arent worth worrying about, there are so many more people u will meet in your life that will be genuine!!
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