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Love doesn't always win

 
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aikim
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Joined: 17 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 10:15 am    Post subject: Love doesn't always win Reply with quote

Bare with me because this post is long.

My ex was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. He loved me not only with his words but with his actions. We're both from LA, but I go to school in SD which makes it harder for us to see eachother often. In the beginning he practicallybecame the 6th room mate at my apt. cuz he was there so often. He ended up dropping his classes because he was in SD so often and he spent 1000 dollars on gas in one month driving back and forth so many times. After a few months of this we decided that it would be better if we just saw eachother on the weekends so we can prioritize our lives better. The transition was hard on me because I went from seeing him almost everyday to just the weekends. I thought it would be better in the Summer, but it was worse because I was taking Summer school in SD and he was taking Summer school in LA. So we would take turns seeing eachother and whenever I came to LA i would expect him to basically give me his weekends so we could take advantage of our time together. The problem was he didn't just want to spend his weekends with me. He wanted to have his freedom too and that was fine with me cuz I try and see my friends on the weekends too, but I would limit it so I could spend it with my bf. Anyways, 3 weeks ago I came to LA on a thur night (I made a deal with my boss to get every other fridays off purposely to spend more time with my bf). Thurs his friends were over and on Friday he was with his friends too. Saturday was basically our only full day together and I had hoped that we were going to spend Sunday together also. He had lunch with his mom on Sunday and afterwards he hung out with his friends. I was just upset because it seemed like I was putting in so much more effort in spending time with him than he was with me. By the time we saw eachother it was 7 and I couldn't get over the fact that he spent more time with his friends than me that weekend when he could see them any time of the week. When we went back to his apt, I basically gave him the silent treatment expecting him to apologize. Half an hour went by and frustration and anger was built inside me because it seemed like he didn't care. Then the next thing I did was say, "I want to break up." I guess I wanted to see if he would care and try and change my mind. But all he did was say,"what?" and for 10 min we sat in silence. Then he got up, got dressed, and drove away. I was shocked cuz I didn't expect that to happen. He was gone for 2 hrs and within those 2 hrs I had realized what I said and I didn't want to break up. But when he came back he was pissed off and lashed out at me. I told him I was just upset and it didn't seem like he cared anymore. Anyways, we proceeded to talk about what happened and I told him that I put in more effort in spending time with him than he does with me. And he basically said he can't always give me his weekends because he wants to do other things. And then he proceeded to talk about what would happen once school starts. He was saying how we are going to be way more busy and we both need to prioritize our lives because in the beginning we payed the consequences for seeing too much of eachother which affected school, friends, family, etc. I kept suggesting we should take a break with his reluctance. We ended up with a mutual decision on taking a break. I took my clothes, my shoes and dvds from his place and he asked for his apt key back. I really thought we would end up getting back together, but when he took his key back it hit me. When I went back to SD I realized maybe we really are over. Then the next day I called him and he told me that he didn't believe in breaks and that we shouldn't be together right now and we need to set our lives straight. It's been 3 weeks already and it's still hard for me to accept that reason for breaking up because I'm such a "go with your heart" type of person. He says he still loves me, but love isn't important right now. He wants me to move on with my life, but how can I when I know he still loves me. How can he just let this go?
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry to be hearing about it aikim...

Well, it's hard to tell what he actually wants... I meant, he could actually make those effort to drive all those way to meet up with you in the past but when you were there... didn't even make the effort to spent more time with you... If he does love you, this shouldn't be the way to be treating you... it just so selfish of him to be just thinking about himself...

Maybe there is indeed something which he want to be achieving but still, even if there is, he should be sharing with you and not just... you know...

So are you guys still in contact? Or rather, has he even called or emailed you over these past 3 weeks?
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aikim
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 12:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:b801e03271="scorpio"]

So are you guys still in contact? Or rather, has he even called or emailed you over these past 3 weeks?[/quote:b801e03271]

No he hasn't made any attempts to keep in contact with me. He told me that he still wanted to be there for me and be my friend and he wasn't going to be like my ex bf who said the same thing but we ended up not being friends. But then he also told my friend that he wanted me to get over him and he thought by not keepin in contact with me would be easier to move on. I've been wanting to talk to him and see him, but I decided to just write him letters whenever I had something on my mind. And my plan was to give him all the letters during X-mas which was when we got together so that I will by then given him his space and more time to think about what he wants to do.
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scorpio
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yup, whatever things may be, there's no need to be hiding your feelings... and he deserves to know too. Go pen down those very feelings and thoughts of yours...

What you are doing is definitely in a way fair to one another too, giving this relationship a second chance...

I know it is going to hard on you but for now, you stay strong yeah, aikim? You guys can definitely arrange to meet up during this Christmas and you know... And hopefully will be able to find back that lost love of the both of yours once again...
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He cares, hun, but there isn't enough time in the day to do everything he would like to do. It seems like he tries his best. He has school, homework, trying to see family, and a gf is hard on him, hun. I know it is hard on you too. It's hard for me to do what I do, and I have said before..there's not enough hrs in the day to do everything I want. I say deal with your education first, and if you guys are meant to be together, hun, you will be.
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