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he broke up with me...

 
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cdubsbabii
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:37 pm    Post subject: he broke up with me... Reply with quote

after being together for a year and 7 months my boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago...it was a LDR..it was almost unexpected, i know a few weeks ago we were having some problems but i really thought they were resolved and moved on from them.. in my head and my heart something just doesn't feel right, how did he go from one day saying hes in love with me and wants to be with me forever, to saying he can't be in a LDR anymore, and thinks we need a break until we can truely be together. but that still doesn't make complete sense since i talked to him 2 days ago and asked him what if i said i was dead serious about moving there in one month and he said we could it a try and still wanted to be with me, so i said well we'd have to make arrangements but i really to then he said he doesn't know what he wants... this makes me think theres someone else, i asked him flat out twice if there was and told him i wouldn't get mad or upset i just rather hear it from him, both times he said no theres not (he's not the type that lies or cheats, i really don't feel like he cheated on me). but somethin in my heart still made me feel that something wasn't right so much that i went and looked up some "info" and found a number hes been texting a whole lot the last few days and its a name that i've never heard of, from cali, he lives in az and plus something wasn't right the day before we broke up (4th of july) his fam was over and so was mine, so we planned that after both fams left (his doesn't stay that late even with the time difference) we'd spend some time together, well i waited and waited called and texted him a few times no answer finally at 2 in the morning his time he answered, he said he fell asleep but idk, i looked at the "into" i found and right after i called him, he called that number and talked for over 2 hours. me and him are still friends, best friends in fact, we've been texting some the last few days, but im completely heartbroken i've gotten about 8 hours of sleep in the last 4 days and haven't eaten anything. were technically not broken up, just on a "break" idk im so lost and confused. I just need some advice outside of my friends and family. im still so in love with him, how am i suppose to get over him and move on when im still in love with him??? PLEASE I REALLY NEED SOME MAJOR ADVICE HERE!?!?

~Dani
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~Angel~
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds to me like it could be 1 of 2 things here. He could be seeing someone else. OR Maybe he got cold feet when you said that you were seriously wanting to move there by him in a month.

Have you talked to him about either of those I typed above yet?

Best advice I can give is to let yourself heal, spend time w/family & friends. You don't have to go finding another guy, just go & do some things w/them. Something that will take your mind off of your ex & the questions/feelings you are having at the moment. It's hard to get over a break-up/break but in time it will get better. Wish I could give you some better advice here hun.

I'm real sorry about how things turned out. If you ever want to chat, feel free to PM me, ok?

(((HUGS)))
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Urmila
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First off LDR are very difficult. I'm speaking from experience. I'm not sure how you were able to find out he was on a call with someone else for 2 hours...but if that's the case you should ask him about it. It's better comming out of his mouth, then you trying to dig into find it. If you keep digging you might just end up hurt. The best thing you can do at this point is speak to him about the problems that you guys are going through. You said you guys are best friends. You should be able to talk this out. If he's already broken up with you, I'm sure you still want to know. But trust me snooping is not going to help. The best you can do is try to find out from him. I know it's going to be hard to want to go on, but you have your family and friends. There's so much to be happy about. Never let a guy put you through this much pain. The more you think about it the more it's going to hurt you. Spending time with others will heal your broken heart. Trying to find out more information is not going to help, please don't do that.
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cdubsbabii
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:b8e35e7307="~Angel~"]Sounds to me like it could be 1 of 2 things here. He could be seeing someone else. OR Maybe he got cold feet when you said that you were seriously wanting to move there by him in a month.

Have you talked to him about either of those I typed above yet?

Best advice I can give is to let yourself heal, spend time w/family & friends. You don't have to go finding another guy, just go & do some things w/them. Something that will take your mind off of your ex & the questions/feelings you are having at the moment. It's hard to get over a break-up/break but in time it will get better. Wish I could give you some better advice here hun.

I'm real sorry about how things turned out. If you ever want to chat, feel free to PM me, ok?

(((HUGS)))[/quote:b8e35e7307]

We've talked a lil bit, about the me moving there thing, he knew for sure i was going to in may and he couldn't wait, but after the break up or w.e i told him if this was all about the distance thing that i would just move there now and go to school there if it meant him and me still being together, at first he seemed happy but then hes like i really don't know what i want right now but i do still love you more then anything. See the thing im really confused about is at first he told me it was all about the distance thing which i really can understand bcos its really hard on both of us. but then he also later added in that he didn't want a girlfriend right now or be tied down, but when he was ready for a girlfriend again he wanted it to be me. As far as the there being someone else thing, one minute i thing theres someone else then i think about how he really is and realized thats just not him. At first my mom and friends though there was someone else too but then after thinging about it they really didn't think so. I asked him if there was someone else twice and both times he said no theres not, i don't really want to ask him anymore as im afraid ill push him away even more. Im really good friends with his best friend's girlfriend and shes going to try and see whats really going on. It just happened so fast that it just makes some stuff just not feel right at all.
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cdubsbabii
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:0effec377b="Urmila"]First off LDR are very difficult. I'm speaking from experience. I'm not sure how you were able to find out he was on a call with someone else for 2 hours...but if that's the case you should ask him about it. It's better comming out of his mouth, then you trying to dig into find it. If you keep digging you might just end up hurt. The best thing you can do at this point is speak to him about the problems that you guys are going through. You said you guys are best friends. You should be able to talk this out. If he's already broken up with you, I'm sure you still want to know. But trust me snooping is not going to help. The best you can do is try to find out from him. I know it's going to be hard to want to go on, but you have your family and friends. There's so much to be happy about. Never let a guy put you through this much pain. The more you think about it the more it's going to hurt you. Spending time with others will heal your broken heart. Trying to find out more information is not going to help, please don't do that.[/quote:0effec377b]

I will ask him eventually more about it, as i told angel i asked him twice about if there was someone else, and both times he said no, hes just not the kind of guy that would lie about that. As far as the number he was talking to, it might just be a friend, he does have a lot of friends in cali, idk im trying really not to thing about it bcos it is making me hurt a lot more.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe take a step back from him & the situation for a little bit. I know you typed that you 2 were friends, but maybe not contact him for a little bit. It might help the hurting right now, not only that, but the questions I'm sure you have in your mind.

If you can continue to be his friend, your a pretty strong person. It takes a whole lot to try to set aside those feelings & take that step back to being friends.

Best of luck to you! Smile
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have some "YOU" time.
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cdubsbabii
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is the first day we really haven't contacted each other and im really doing ok, the other days i felt like i need to get a text from him or something, but today i don't. We've still been texting each other good night and stuff which has helped me sleep a lil bit better. We've decided not to call each other for a few weeks just bcos we felt like it would make things easier on both of us. After talking everyday for close to 2 years, its really hard not hearing from him, but ill be ok. I'm trying to move on and get my life back, as im starting to realize that i was so dependent on him and basically worked my life around him. I really though today would be a lot harder on me just bcos sundays were our day together, we basically spend all day on the phone, watching movies, playing games etc. I've been spending a lot more time with my family and friends and it feels good, even though i miss him tons.

Thanks,
Dani
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