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Young & Confused...any advice is greatly appreciated

 
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Mike K
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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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Location: Southlake, TX

PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 12:45 am    Post subject: Young & Confused...any advice is greatly appreciated Reply with quote

I know this is a long post but plz take the time and leave me some advice. I am completely LOST!!
First of all I am 17 years old (18 in a couple of months) and desperately need some advice on a recent relationship. I am not naive enough to think i am in love, i believe i am too young to understand exactly what love is, however, i am 100% positive that this is the closest I have been to it. I guess i need to give some background on the relationship so you can understand so please bear with me...
Well it started a couple of months ago. I met this amaziing girl, Brooke, that completely took my breath away. She is a gorgeous blonde with high cheek bones and a sharp chin, and on top of that i love her personality!! She the nicest person ive ever met and always thinks about others. Ill stop there cause I could go on forever describing her. Anyway, i never stop thinking about her and spend as much time as i possibly can with her. I love to just be with her no matter what we are doing and the moment I leave her i miss her and count the minutes until the next time i will see her.
So here is the problem. About a month ago i noticed a change. She seemed slightly distant and was definately giving mixed signals. The problem kept getting worse. Some days she was happy and some she was miserable. Eventually she flipped out one day and was talking all this crazy stuff about not wanting to mess things up between us so she wanted space. I didn't understand but thinking of her gave her what she wanted. It lasted one day and we were together again. Now things just kept getting worse and a couple days ago she completely broke down saying she always thought she rushed into the relationship too quickly and never had time to recover from her last relationship (she went out with a guy for a year and a half and it ended badly, then went out with me a month later). She keeps going on about how she is terrified about another break-up like her last one and that she is protecting me and her from getting hurt down the road because she likes me so much and doesn't want to get closer and face a break-up when we go off to college next year. (We are starting our senior year in high-school). I know she still wants to be with me and i care so much for her i am going through each day hoping something will change and i will get another chance. She is just too terrified about getitng close and having a break-up. What should i do!?! Plz, any advice would be great.
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JulietJules
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Joined: 17 May 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think may be she feels a bit of insecurity about the relationship with you coz she had a bad past (or) she couldnt let go of the past as she starts another relationship too soon. Best thing you really need to talk with her. Make sure that she doesnt need to be scared coz looking back all the days together you both feel safe in each other's hand. This is the time she really needs you coz insecurity can make her confuse and if you dont jump in and hold her tight, you might lose her. Best of luck.


Jules
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Mike K
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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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Location: Southlake, TX

PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 4:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks a bunch! Im thinking its the first one you suggested. She hates this other guy (i think it was hard for her cause it was over a year long and he was her first) but i had to help her get over him. He was kinda psycho about the breakup and her being with me so soon. he would always call her crying and freaking out and sometimes threatening. eventually i stepped in one night and he slowly started backing down. although that took like 2 months lol. The funny thing is im still spending as much time with her as when i was going out with her and not much has changed except for the intimate part. Its just hard for me to understatnd i guess cause ive never had a break up like that but i will take your advice and talk to her about it soon. If that doesnt go well then you can prob expect another post from me lol
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree w/Jules...have a talk w/her. She needs to see that even though her first relationship ended badly, not every 1 is going to be like that, she is insecure & needs some reassurance.

She probably needed some time to heal from her break up before, if it was a long relationship & her first, the way it ended, she needed some time to regroup.
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Mike K
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just wanted to say thanks Jules and Angel! The advice really got me thinking about things and ive decided not to push the subject to much on her no matter how much i wanna be with her. Im going to talk to her a couple times here at first and let her know that i still care and am here for her and then just keep being close friends with her for a while. I will let things develop. Hopefully after some time she will get over it and be ready to try another relationship without being so afraid. Thanks again!!
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like you have a good plan going...best of luck to you. Smile
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Mike K
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 6:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well probably my last post on this topic. For any of you that are for some reason actually interested in my screwed up life, things did not go well. In fact they are worse. We don't even talk to each other anymore now. Anyway, thanks for all your help Angel and Jules. I really do appreciate it.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry to read that things haven't gone well for you & her. I hope things will look better for you both soon & you 2 can start talking again.

Best of luck to you!
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