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I SHOULD DROP HIM!

 
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:38 am    Post subject: I SHOULD DROP HIM! Reply with quote

There is a guy that i've been talking to for the past month. He's 28 which is actually big for me since I'm 21 but we had our first date and it was really something cool. Unfortunately, we ended up having sex on our first date and we hung out together for the next three days. I was told by him that he would be transferring to another semi pro football team. And so he left. Ever since then, he's been so inconsistant. No, we both didn't say that we wanted a relationship between us but he swears up and down how much he likes me and that I didn't have to worry about him being with anyone else because they're not any women that he desires in seattle. He wanted me to visit him fourth of july weekend and watch him play but he texted me saying that during that time he would be on the road playing. I don't expect him to call every day, but when he says that he will call, he doesn't. he supposedly didn't hear his alarm go off so that he can say happy birthday to me since he forgot the day-we literally talked for an hour, by texting, and he said that he was sorry. I just don't know if i need to be focused on a guy like this. Just got out of a break up and i don't know if i'm ready to do all of the things that requires a relationship for him. I see myself joining to clubs and while other men want me, i say no because of this guy. It's just that he's not doing anything for me to really believe that he likes me alot. If that's the case, he should have made an effort to remember my birthday-not to set an alarm. Any suggestions?
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you feel like the relationship isn't going anywhere & he isn't putting in his 1/2 to keep you 2 going while he is away, then if you feel like breaking it off, it might be best.

It's hard to maintain a long distance relationship w/out the other not keeping the communication open.
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

it's so hard though-and i've gotten into a situation where i have to get over two people. Well i haven't had any "i miss him" days about my ex since he said that unhappy stuff to me on my birthday. But this 28 year old is irritating me-irritating me because i don't know how to get over him. I should be easy but my feelings got caught with me when it came down to having sex with him. Emotions came from that. all i know is that if he was still here, i would be chillling with him now. but he's playing football in seattle, we don't even claim that we're in a relationship, and he wants me to see him. His football season will be over and he said that i could see him when he gets home, which is Milwakee. I just can't fly to see someone and have sex with them and that's it. he doesn't even call more than once a week and if he doesn't call i might start the text messages. why is this so hard? I'm mad that i got myself into a vulnerable state after being with someone for so long and not knowing how to deal with out them, then try to hurry up and find somebody to replace them. found this dude, had sex on the first date, can't get them out of my mind when they don't even call just to say hi. why can't i leave him alone? what if i don't hear from him and he buys me the ticket anyway? Then i would have to go. DUNNO!
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You wouldn't have to go, if he just buys you the ticket w/out even keeping any or much communication up, you can refuse to go. He needs to keep his end of the bargain in the relationship, keeping some form of communication going between you 2.

If he cares for you as he says, then he should try his hardest to set aside time to talk to you. It doesn't take all that long to send a text message saying "HI! How are you doing?" or even leaving a message saying much the same, something to let you know he's thinking of you & trying to keep communication going in some form.

Maybe you need something else to occupy your time that way you won't be thinking about this guy so much. Spend some time w/friends or family. Maybe take up a hobby, something you may have wanted to try, but haven't as of yet. That could help.
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

once again this man became inconsistent. He told me that he would pay for the plane ticket, then goes on to say that the time that i want to come his parents will be in town and he would rather me drive. I told him what was the plan and fifteen minutes later, I didn't get a text message and i told him that i guess there is no plan and i haven't heard from him since. I knew all he wanted was ass and my vulnerable self gave it to him.

On another note, my ex which told me that i suppossedly can't make him happy on my birthday, has called me several times everytime we pass each other on the road or at an intersection and he gets fired up when he realizes that i didn't pay attention. Last night, him and one of his exes became facebook friends and i tried not to get mad because that necessarily doesn't mean that they are together. But i will get mad if he does decide to date her because he swore up and down to me that it's not the fact that he didn't want me, that he doesn't want to deal with a relationship at all. And if he does end up in one, i would look at it as another lie. So i decided to put single on my profile. I actually feel guilty for doing that because i still have feelings for him, and the thing is, is that i don't want him to be thinking about getting back with me and he changes his mind when he sees my profile. but at the same time he let me go and swore that if he saw me with someone else that he will not get mad because he says "he's not the jealous type." Please help me to not feel guilty.Very Happy
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meg there is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty for changing your profile to SINGLE! He is your EX & has been for some time, not only that hun, he has made it plain that you "can't make him happy" & I can't remember the other thing you have typed here that he told you. He is moving on, but he most likely calls you to keep the flames going for YOU & that is wrong. The plain & simple truth is your single & you should be able to do anything you want to w/out the guilt.

As for that other guy...he's a real jerk, but unfortunately some guys are nothing but jerks. Next time it will be easier to spot the "players" & you can tell em to go to hell way quicker. Smile
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your response but now i need to figure out if i'm rushing myself or will time become my best friend. Mymother had a tummy tuck done this past friday and the recovery process was very difficult. My ex came back from training for two weeks and he calls and talks to me for two hours. He wanted to come over friday but i decided to let my mom rest and told him it was a nice gesture but she's okay. He has this tendency to do stuff like " do you remember when we used to say this? or that?" and that irritates me. He also talked about all of our friends relationships except ours. He also does this "well you know me" when it comes to voicing his opinions. Well he came over today and stayed for a couple of hours. Now i know i shouldn't have focused on him coming here because i must say it was a nice gesture for him to come see my mom but it's hard to see him as "good" when i felt like he's hurt me so much interms of breaking up with me. my mom constantly said it was so good to see him and my step dad was mad about the fact that he will go back to serve in Iraq in the next year or two but all i could think about is how i make him so unhappy and i wasn't even told how i did make him unhappy. He bragged about his lexus and i showed him out of the house and i just closed the door. I felt bad because i didn't want to see mean but i don't know what other way i can be to him right now. He stayed in my driveway for a couple of minutes and he slowly drove off. He stopped in the middle of the street and i opened the door to see why he stopped and when i did, he drove off. His mom's wedding is next month and we will both sleep in the same room together. That won't necessarily bother me but he makes it seem like that he's doing "owe so lovely" He may be feeling hurt since he ended with me and his lost his dad but i wish he would show it. They say that you truely love someone even if they let you go but it hurts like hell. I do everything to try to move on but my heart is disagreeing with me. I even pray to God to not allow me to miss him and when i do, that allows me to think that i need to be with him. I've talked to three guys and went on several dates since the break up and none of them has affected me like my ex. Not only that, i could start talking to a guy and then my feelings for my ex get in the way. My ex does this thing that if i don't answer right away he may get irritated or if we pass each other on the road and i don't see him in his new car, he gets irritated. My things is, if youre so unhappy with me then why are you worrying about the amount of attention that i'm giving you. He says "not right now" when it comes to things and he just won't say no. I need to calm down my heart is wanting him but i don't want another failed relationship. I see myself with him on all levels but that fact that I'm 21 i guess i still have my occasional doubts if he's the one. God i need help!
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

during the relationship, i felt like i was fickle hearted
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 12:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would talk w/him about the way he is acting. Get it all out in the open, ask him why he acts the way he does when you don't give him attention. Tell him straight out he told you that you didn't make him happy & that is why he broke up w/you, so why act the way he does?


I think it's time to make him spill his guts, he's playing way too much w/your heart & emotions & it's not right. It's been too long w/letting him do that to you.

Good luck! Smile
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