Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion

manny25 · Member Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 6

I was dating a girl for about three months, everything was going great, i mean really great then out of no where she just breaks everything off. She said she needed time to find herself. She had just gotten out of a serious relationship about a month before we started dating so I understood and was more than willing to give her her time but she kept calling and coming over. She would be all great one day then pretty much not talk the next day. I was so and am so confused. She wanted me to be her friend so that's what I tried to do but she would still want to kiss and hug and all that. Then she just broke it off the next day after we spent a wonderful evening together. She returned everything and now won't even talk to me in passing. I have no idea if she has any intentions of coming back to me or what? I have made myself available completly to her but she just ignores me. I went over to her house to check on her because she looked upset when I got there she was warm and receptive and told me she was having a bad day. Now I haven't heard from her at all even though she said she was going to stop over yesterday. (She lives right across the street) Can anyone give me any insight on where I stand or what I should do? I am holding out because I really care about her and I don't want to give up on us if there is still a chance we could pick up somewhere. Most of all would someone be able to tell me if this is normal for her to do this. It is so confusing because we seemed so right and it seems like she wants to be with me but she is holding herself back for some reason. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

femmefatale · Member Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 14

Well.. if I were you, just let her be and give her more time to think. Maybe she likes you but because she's been hurt before, she wants to make sure that she will never be hurt again or maybe she just wana make sure that the feelings she have for you is for real, not just to be a cover up of the hurt that she's feeling from her past relationship. Yes, there's a big chance for the both of you but for now, give her more time to think and just wait..
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scorpio · Site Admin Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 292

You said it. "it seems like she wants to be with you but is holding herself back for some reason" Well, I believe it does have to do with her past bad relationship...

Girls can no doubts sometimes get very emotional... emotionally uncertain about things... especially after a bad relationship and not to mention a serious one for her.

I guess she really need someone to be able to talk to... a shoulder to provide her with some real warmness... but at the same time, she is somehow scared to fall in love just that soon again...

Well, I do believe that she is the type of girl who is not into any play play relationship and I would say she is serious if she is in one... And I believe you are serious about her too, manny25?

Now, it has only been about 3 months... Don't tell me you are going to just give up, manny25? I know you are not, right? Do give her sometime... and nevertheless let her know that you are true to her... make her feel certain and that sense of assurance... I believe a nice relationship is certainly possible... Work on it! Wink

manny25 · Member Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 6

Thanks for the encouragement. I needed to hear that from someone because everything you all have said is what I have felt in my heart but due to my past I have had a hard time believing it. I hope so much that everything will work out. I have no intentions of moving on without her unless she chooses to first. I'm not the kind of person to give up on someone or just walk away from somebody. That's just the way it is where I am from. Any other insight or encouragement is so welcome.

manny25 · Member Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 6

Well I just found out that everything I thought and everything you all thought is not the truth. Today I confronted her because she was just going to walk by as if I don't exist. So I asked her nicely what was going on? She told me I need to let go and that she has been talking to someone else. This crushed me completely. How can this be? Why the lies and deceit? How can she love me the one minute and the next she's just willing to toss it all away? ANY ENCOURAGEMENT WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED. Thanks for your support.

scorpio · Site Admin Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 292

I am sorry to hear about this, manny25.

Well, it is sure never easy to truly understand a woman's heart... But from what I see, I believe she is in a state of confusion, feeling confused over the matter of heart... Now, is there really the existence of this someone else or is it just... I really wouldn't dare to comment much, giving you any false hope again...

Whatever it is, to be receiving such a reply from her, you must be lost for what to do now? I guess maybe it will be good to monitor things for a while and see how it goes... Let's just see if she be calling you again. Well, if she really did, then at least we would have a better clue for any of a further chance...

manny25 · Member Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 6

Thank you scorpio for your kind words. It also crossed my mind about the other someone but I'm not going to continue to hope there's not. I need to move on with my life. This has been tearing me apart inside for too long now. I have lost lots of sleep, I don't eat, I haven't worked out because I'm so down. I can't let this go on. I know it sounds cruel but she's the one with the issues not me. I was there and tried to help but she continued to push me away. Now she has to go in alone because I have to take care of myself. Thank you all for your support you all have really helped me stay sain through this ordeal. God bless you all.

manny25

scorpio · Site Admin Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 292

Well, it is kind of a sad "ending" here... but well, you are definitely not in anyway wrong, manny25. Ultimately, one should be thinking for himself too... Let's just take things as it comes...

But nevertheless, hope to be hearing good news from you in the future to come... Wink

God bless you too...
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manny25 · Member Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 6

Scorpio, once again I thank you for your support and compassion throughout this matter. I do have to ask you to clear some things up or if you would just give me some insight into what you were thinking or what you meant.
In one post you stated that you wondered if this other person (guy) really existed but you did not want to give me any false hopes. I admitted that I had the same speculation but I was just curious as to how you established your same opinion of this. Don't hold back please and don't worry about false hopes. Just lay it out.
Also in the last post you put ending in quotations as if there is possibly still a chance. Just out of curiosity I was wondering what and why you may have been thinking. Please don't hold back this is strictly out of curiosity.
Once again I thank you so very much for your much needed support and compassion during this difficult time. God bless!

manny25

scorpio · Site Admin Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 292

Well sorry, didn't actually mean anything special with the "Ending"... Just do hope to be seeing every friends here in this Forum having a happy ending and it is kind of sad that things for you have to end... You know...

Anyway, regarding that false hope... Well, I do actually know of similar incident where the girl do actually like the guy, but because of feeling uncertainty about things and the fear of commiting herself in the relationship, she chooses to avoid and ignore the guy, trying to just even end the very friendship itself. But nevertheless, my friend chooses not to give up and which well, the girl finally decided to accept her own feeling for the guy and...

Well, girls are always just more emotional as compared to guys who tend to be more playful... (Some can just be old boys) And sometimes, they just fear and feel insecure over things...

Just thought she might be one of those girls whom like someone but is afriad to accept her own feeling... especially when you mentioned that she is just out of a serious relationship? Rolling Eyes

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love is blind · Member Joined: 13 Oct 2006 Posts: 1

ya if i was u i would sooo leave her alone and move on.. she seems like she does have somethings to work out with herself i mean it seems like u was bein the world to her and the nice guy but she just broke it off... its her fault for making that move... one more thing what was the last thing u told her when she just decided to say good bye???

RINDAI · Member Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 3

m curious mann25,what was the ending did she come back?once did that kind of thing myself

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chinka9 · Member Joined: 04 Jun 2010 Posts: 3

Give it time.... Time is most supreme... it resolves and sorts out everything...
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reallove · Member Joined: 24 Jul 2009 Posts: 26

Be true to yourself and her by communicating what it is that you truly desire and also what does not work for you. Do not become dependent on her drama. Allow yourself the freedom to experience love. http://www.bestsitesforonlinedating.com