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Internet Love?

 
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jte23
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 2:02 pm    Post subject: Internet Love? Reply with quote

I am a 24 year old male, slightly introverted but outgoing once I get to know people. For approximatly 1 month now I have been talking to a girl (aged 22) who I found on okcupid.com. We've been chatting quite frequently and for about 2-3 hours per night, both on IM, webcam, video chat and phone.

I live in Dublin, Ireland, while she lives in London, England, so we live quite close. In fact, she has been to Ireland before and has made no secret that she plans to come again before she heads back to Asia (she is an exchange student on a study year abroad, here in the UK)

Anyway, we basically get on amazing, we talk about everything, from the from the very personal, to the random. It's just a pleasure to know her and she has been nothing but complimentary towards me also.

Problem is, although i've never met her (and this has never happened to me before, despite chatting to hundreds of people online over the last 7-8 years), I really am starting to feel something for her. Then, randomly last night she started to say how she isn't sure how she feels about me, that she is somewhere between "liking" me and "really liking" me.

She has also talked about making another trip over to Dublin to see me before she goes back to Asia.

I guess i'm frustrated because, nearly every girl i've ever been romantically involved with has confessed to being "unsure" as to how they really feel about me, as if they arn't entirely convinced they like me romantically.

I was in a horrible relationship a few years back where a girl said how much she loved me and wanted to spend her life with me, only to cheat on me with another guy shortly after and break up with me without me even knowing at the time it was because she was with someone else.

So as you can tell, I am very wary of letting myself fall too deeply for someone, especially someone who isn't sure how they think of me.

Yet, I feel the need to tell her. Things have gone a little weird since she told me that, as if we both now realise there is a potential romantic issue, even though i havn't said anything.

So I dont really know how to approach it.

Are there any questions I could ask her to get a better idea? Should I tel her how I feel, basically, how do i figure out how she feels about me and whether to tell her how I feel?

Thanks.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Got to always talk things out, dude. Even if you may not like the answer you get. Put nothing in..get nothing out, but there's always a chance when you talk things out.
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeap!
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jte23
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

how exactly? don't girls get freaked out when guys confess their love... end up thinking they are desperate and run a mile...
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Ocean
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, they think: "Ahhh! finally one who isnt a sissy, and too scared to talk for real and say what he feels up loud".

All the other guys just piss in their pants, just the thought of actually saying it!

And its not call a confession, but a declaration.
You know, like Human Rights, and Independancy, that sort of things.
Its like declaring to yourself that now the light hitted the screen and you can see it as well as saying it. Some men go through a life time without being able even once to do so. Meaning they are in the dark ages till the end.
If you cant say it, you are also unable to alow yourself of feeling it, and, in some degree, of receiving it. You are like emotionally and spiritually handicaped by your own repressing will.
Or inhability of just letting it flow free.

But in fact its true, that girls will most certainly run if a guy said it to them.
Only in the guys arms, and nowhere further!

Laughing
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 11:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:f4f3bf7cc3="jte23"]how exactly? don't girls get freaked out when guys confess their love... end up thinking they are desperate and run a mile...[/quote:f4f3bf7cc3]

Maybe some do, but if they like the guy, I don't think so. You're not asking the girl to marry you, just asking her how she feels about you, or telling her how you feel about her.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would let her know how you are starting to feel about her. I would also ask her a to possibly be a bit more detailed in what she meant about she "isn't sure" about her feelings for you. You never know, she might be having the same types of feelings you are. She may be holding back because she was in a similar situation.

The best thing is to have a talk w/her & then you 2 can go from there. At least both of your confusion will be done & you will have your answers.

Good luck & keep us posted. Smile
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jte23
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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 5:36 pm    Post subject: Please Please Help. Reply with quote

Hey, this is an update.

Basically, we have talked a lot more, every night for the last month, got on amazingly well. Became really close.

She makes no secret that she thinks i'm great. She has even commented "thats why i love you" on several occassions, although maybe that was half-joke.

Basically, she's talking about coming over to see me. Which is great.

There is a problem though.....

All throughout our online friendship, she has never mentioned a boyfriend, and explicitely said she's single.

She has also complimented me a lot, saying i'm cute, that i'm attractive. We've flirted loads, joked about having crushes on eachother. This comes up a lot.

HOWEVER

We both use facebook, and today I followed a link to her livejournal.

Most of it is 'friends only', except for a few surveys and fun entries.

On a recent survey she answered, one of the questions was: SINGLE, OR TAKEN? She wrote TAKEN!

My heart sank.

She's never mentioned a boyfriend. She always talks about her best friend (a guy), but has said previosly he was "just alright looking, nothing special".

So i'm VERY VERY confused. She comes across very shy. She doesn't seem to be the kind who goes out with guys easily.

Yet, these massive contradictory actions between how she flirts with me and saying in a survey she is "TAKEN" i.e. she has a boyfriend. I am really confused, especially as, she may come to my city THIS WEEKEND.

Shocked

What should I do? I've grown really attached to her, only to find out second-hand she may have a boyfriend. This really sucks. I feel sick.

I've been in several relationships before and been dumped. I'm not exaggerating when I said I felt almost as bad when I read that.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm, maybe she could be meaning you in her "taken" profile?

I would still meet her, hang out & enjoy each other. You 2 are friends, so look at it as just that, your meeting your friend. See how things go from there as she is visiting.

Good luck!
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jte23
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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your advice Angel.

I just doubt she means me. I wish she did. Others have suggested some people write that on surveys to look less sad.

She has mentioned her "best friend" more and more recently. They look REALLY cosy in one picture for just friends Crying or Very sad

I know I could still be her friend, but honestly, it would hurt too much. I already like her too much, if i meet her, i'll fall even deeper.... and if she's with someone, that will just hurt too much.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, she doesn't know you have these feelings for her, right? If she doesn't why don't you tell her. OR You could ask about the friend in the pictures she sent you, ask her if they are a bit more then friends.

That way you would know BEFORE she came out to visit w/you. From there you can make the decision to meet her or not.
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