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Not a great outlook on relationships

 
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index -> Breaking Up
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missmeg29
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Joined: 09 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 11:25 pm    Post subject: Not a great outlook on relationships Reply with quote

I come to this forum again with more confusment. I previously messed with a man, whose 28 and he was cool. It only happened to be a three day fling and he left the state of kentucky. I do but don't necessarily regret. It shouldn't have gone down that fast but i guess i needed to experience someone new. But this break up and the pain that comes afterwards has torn me in many ways than i could explain. My ex invited me to his sermon yesterday, which was good, but it probably wasn't the best thing for me to attend to. I was greeted with a half hug and minutes later, i caught him staring at me in the audio booth throughout the church service. I don't know if he's in pain or if he regrets the break up or what. I'm tired of hours of talking to him and not once will he mention us. everytime i leave his presence or a phone call has ended, i get frustrated because he doesn't bring up "us." I have days where I'm sure that he's the one, but today for instance, it's up in the air. I've been like that almost a year ago. I do miss his presence and i feel like that i can have the courage to meet someone else but i feel that there's no more room in my heart to feel in someone else's emotions besides my ex. I have my moments when i juggle between wanting him and trying to see if we did have another shot, if it's really what i want. just haven't met someone that has strikened a chord like he did. I'm trying not to confuse grief with love but it's hard to differentiate the both right now. i guess i feel like that after 3 months if he wanted me back, then we would have already been together. All i know is that i can't wait on him-waiting will only hurt me more. I miss his spirit and him as my best friend. this whole experience has allowed my list of fears to become longer. I fear falling back in love and not knowing if this is the person i should be with, i fear trusting someone and giving my all and that failing, fear that if i date someone and my ex finally wants me back, our timing would be off. I guess I've even grown a fear of marriage. I believe that I'm the marrying type but i get overwhelmed about marriage. What allows you to say yes to dedicating your life and spending it with someone else until death do you part? The list goes on and on, and with my fear of taking chances and change allows me to be at a stand still in life. How would you feel if someone dumped you and you didn't do anything wrong, especially for 5 years? I'm tired of my uncertainty, and want sureness and knowing to replace it. I'm more opt to say i love you on "feel good" days than on days when i don't feel it. Does that make my love conditional? My mind is a jigsaw and the puzzle is very complex.
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~Angel~
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2007 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seems to me in order to get over your ex & to stop the pain & the confusion, you will have to stop talking to him. Your trying to be his friend which is a nice thing, but the thing here is, YOU are getting hurt. You talk to him, wondering why he's not wanting to get back together, you get confused & hurt & that's not good at all. If he was any kind of serious about getting back together w/you, he would have done so by now. If he knows that you still love him, then he's not really right to still be contacting you, wanting to form a friendship w/you.

I see that by keeping in contact w/him & trying to keep him as a friend is going to be a never ending cycle of ups & downs & that really isn't healthy or fair to you.
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missmeg29
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Joined: 09 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, its crazy because i called him yesterday to tell him that his sermon was good and he said that he would call me later and he didn't. My birthday is tuesday and that's the next time i may expect a call from him. I know that i have to leave him alone. I got on facebook today and i saw that he befriended a girl that i've never met. He's maybe moving on to someone else. Yeah it may hurt but he has the right, and i've already being talking to guys since the break up so i can't get mad. The 28 year old called me tonight, wanting pics of me and he also wants me to fly out to seattle to see him. Was first puzzled and suprised that he called me because i expect that every dude that "gets it" quick enough, wouldn't want to talk to you anymore. He plays for a football team in seattle and he wants me to come on 4th of July weekend and honestly it sounds tempting. i just you may not be meant to be no matter how much one person may want the other, but it's crazy. He won't give me my senior pics back and won't take off hearts that i left on his facebook page. i didn't expect for me and this guy, 28 year old, to be nothing more even though i was feeling him. I prepared myself for the worse, him getting it and not calling me back or texting or anything and he did. It's crazy. I have a tendency to check my ex's facebook page after i check mine and i haven't broken that habit yet. I want to act like i don't care but it's hard to just quickly switch it off. but when i look over my message, i guess my fears have been created because of unhappiness in the relationship and i guess i still feel that way because i guess a part of me believes that my ex and i will get married. rejection is just hard, especially when you've done nothing wrong. Just suprised that this new guy called me. Don't know what to think and my dad will have a bitch fit if he knew this summer i was going to see a guy in seattle. It's hard enough telling him that i'm going on a date with someone rather than my ex. It's crazy.
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry for any typos, and the facebook page that has the hearts on it is my ex's.
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