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A little advice needed.. (online dating, sort of)

 
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Lily.
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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 10:18 am    Post subject: A little advice needed.. (online dating, sort of) Reply with quote

This may sound a little confusing, so bear with me Smile

Well, I sent a message to this guy I like a week ago. He lives in the same country, within a 100 miles so we can meet. I didn't like him that much when I sent the message, but now I think I'm totally head over heels for him! Help. Heh.

Alright, so we've been sending e-mails back and forth for the past week, IMed once, ended up very dramatically (for me) when he suddenly closed the window. Sent him a message yesterday acting like nothing had happened and he replied. Yay Very Happy So, from [i:60e07771f8]that[/i:60e07771f8] point of view everything is alright.

But, I don't know - we've been talking about traveling (a common interest) for quite a lot, as well as music (yet another common interest) but pretty much nothing else. Random things we've done in real life (job seeking), maybe to give a picture of each other's lives. It's all platonic and I've got a much deeper interest for him.

I'd like to know more about him, ask him more personal questions but then I start feeling like it's unappropriate because he's talking about the everyday stuff.

The last time I did this, the guy was very flirtatious and I started liking him because of that. Now I think I should be the one doing all the pursuing because this guy is so much different. It's quite hard though, because we're both pretty shy. However, when we IMed, he did change the subject when I didn't reply and sort of tried to carry the conversation on.

So I guess what I want to do is take the this thing to the next level, but being the relationship amateur that I am, I have absolutely no idea! In a way I still want to bask in the results of my initiative but then again I'm getting bored with talking about the same subjects - and on the other hand it would be weird to attack him with personal questions like an interrogator. Very Happy

Confusing, wasn't it? But I'll be thankful for any input. Smile
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would say any questions that you have had in mind to ask him, why not go ahead & ask him? If he doesn't feel comfy answering them I'm sure he would let you know. OR You could say something that if he doesn't feel comfy to feel free to not answer them or a particular question.

The best way to get to know someone better is to ask questions. For myself, I was always asking my fiance questions about himself, his life, etc. as we talked over the phone. I would even stop him in the middle of a conversation to ask him a question that popped up in my head.

Good luck!
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Lily.
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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 11:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:12f7fc7e02="~Angel~"]I would say any questions that you have had in mind to ask him, why not go ahead & ask him? If he doesn't feel comfy answering them I'm sure he would let you know. OR You could say something that if he doesn't feel comfy to feel free to not answer them or a particular question.

The best way to get to know someone better is to ask questions. For myself, I was always asking my fiance questions about himself, his life, etc. as we talked over the phone. I would even stop him in the middle of a conversation to ask him a question that popped up in my head.

Good luck![/quote:12f7fc7e02]

Yeah, I guess I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet. Darnit. Very Happy

Thanks for the reply! Smile
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 12:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your welcome! Smile

Good luck & let us know how it's going.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 12:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote:02e382aea5="Lily."][quote:02e382aea5="~Angel~"]I would say any questions that you have had in mind to ask him, why not go ahead & ask him? If he doesn't feel comfy answering them I'm sure he would let you know. OR You could say something that if he doesn't feel comfy to feel free to not answer them or a particular question.

The best way to get to know someone better is to ask questions. For myself, I was always asking my fiance questions about himself, his life, etc. as we talked over the phone. I would even stop him in the middle of a conversation to ask him a question that popped up in my head.

Good luck![/quote:02e382aea5]

Yeah, I guess I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet. Darnit. Very Happy

Thanks for the reply! Smile[/quote:02e382aea5] Go bite that bullet ! Very Happy
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Lily.
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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep, did bite the bullet and it actually turned out quite well: we're going to meet in real life sometime soon Very Happy
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Lily.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing

to give you guys some hope...

the person i mentioned in this thread... we've been dating since july 21st, 2007 and still going strong =) he is _awesome_ i've never met anyone like him. i still get butterflies in my stomach when i go to see him.

ok so basically what you gotta do is just.... bite... that... bullet.

getting to know someone is diabolic, especially if you're shy, are prone to anxiety etc. but it can be worth it! and in this case, it truly was. i'm going to be forever thankful for all the higher and even lower powers for letting me find him.
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