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Pushing people away

 
This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Love, Romance & Relationship Discussion Forum Index -> Breaking Up
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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 1:43 am    Post subject: Pushing people away Reply with quote

I started dating my previous bf about 4 and a half years ago. I moved in with him(he insisted) shortly after more out of need because I couldn't find somewhere to live. It initially was going to be temporary but turned into not so temporary.

Things were going quite well until I lost my job and I got stuck in a rut of depression. My inability to find work and my lack of desire to go out to find work planted a nasty seed. He was supportive but it did put some strain on things.

I found a new job but that seed still had roots like when you pull out a weed but don't get it all. Things are great once again. He brings up marriage & kids.

I lost that job and fell into an even worse state of depression and apathy because I was distressed with retail work but I didn't know what to go to college for. I was unable to contribute towards rent or expenses. I tried to help out around the house with chores or cooking when I could but it never felt like enough for him or myself. He gets a new job in that time period that he hates. Communication breaks down.

Fast forward to this past march. I tell him that I don't know if I love him but it isn't the truth. I tell him this because I want to get away so I can go to college and find a job that I can tolerate and I don't want him waiting around for me because of my previous disasters. he still tells me he loves me and I can see it in him before I go.

I have been away from him(state next door) for about 2 months and it is driving me insane. I still chit chat on IM with him but it's brief. I miss him so much but then I think about the lie I told him to get away and I can't bare how much that on top of it would hurt him. I can't decide if I should tell him now or later or never. I feel like I have caused him enough heartache through my employment issues and causing him the hurt from loving something that doesn't love you back.

I won't even live in the same state for at least 2 years because of school so my chances of getting to talk to him face to face are slim. I am so lost on what to do or if I just leave it all be because I caused a lot of strain when we were together.
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~Angel~
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you still love him, tell him how you feel. Be honest w/him about the lie you told him, I'm sure he would understand. You 2 were going through a rough time & this was something that you needed to do for yourself so that you could get yourself on the right track.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I think you should tell him. No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. You have to work on both. You worked on you, now work on him
and getting your relationship back on track. Good luck to you ! Very Happy
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