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I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!

 
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:34 pm    Post subject: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE! Reply with quote

First off, thanks for everyone that replies to my messages. I previously talked about a dude that i was seeing was not for me at all. it was just lust and a fulfillment of sexual desire. We were close, but we didn't have sex which was good. I ended the conversations between us and everything else. But i'm still filled with alot of uncertainy and pain. I'm easily persuaded by my friends and she said words that allowed me to let go of my ex, enough for me to bring that dude back to my dorm and it was the first time i really talked to him and i'm not that type of girl. I feel like i'm dating people just to because i lost him and someone has to take his place but this week, i've been missing him like crazy. I talked to him on the phone for an hour last night, and it was a good conversation. He's grown spiritually and so have i, since the break up. I 'm happy because he's doing better and my prayers were answered, asking God to take care of him in ways that i can't. He's changed, but changed for the good. The more he talked about God made me realize that i wasn't needed in his life. He still has my senior pics and as far as i know he still has feelings for me but he's just letting them fade. His best friend and family members had much worse situations in their relationships and they are all getting back together and i constantly ask myself why not me and my ex? I constantly ask God for me to not think about him but i can't stop. I sit in class or in my dorm daydreaming about the moment when we reunite and i want to stop but i can't. and when it comes to talking to other guys, i don't approach them, they approach me and the only reason why i talk to them because they ask for my phone number. There is really no true desire. I realized that i am one of those people that become interested in someone that's interested in you. Plus it was the first time another dude besides my ex sleeping in my bed. but i know that i didn't need anything like that. i thought i was done with the crying but i'm not. i can sit one day and think what i could do to be a better girlfriend next time around and then other days when i'm like why bother because he hasn't even said that he wanted me back. But to know that he may never ask me that and have the feelings that i do is driving me crazy.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you know for sure that he doesn't want to try again?

If you want to be rid of thinking & your feelings for your ex, you might want to cut off all communication w/him. I think that might be the only way to leave him in the past, IF that is what you really want to do.

I think continuing to talk to him is setting you back & hurting you more. You still have these feelings for him, but he doesn't seem to be returning them, so now your building your hopes up that you 2 might get back together. It's a 50/50 chance that you 2 might or might not. Seems to me that you are the only 1 getting hurt because of the communication you 2 are having & the thoughts that you are building up in your mind & heart.

Maybe it might be a good thing to try to stop all communication w/him even if you don't really want to. Your really hurting yourself.

Good luck in whatever decision you make.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have you ever thought that you were a good girlfriend? Have you ever thought that the problem is with him and not with you? It's easy to blame ourselves, or think we were not good enough, or wasn't a good gf/bf, when in reality we were.
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

what if i played hard to get? I think he knows the power that he has over me. He doesn't want me to the point of getting back together but knows that i will be there for him no matter what, and then taking advantage of it. I think he wants me to know that he still cares, which is true but i guess he wants to have a hold on me to allow me to have that false hope, you know? what about him calling and me not answering for a while? he's preaching on the third sunday in may, what if i don't talk to him until the day before since he wants me to go?
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, from what you typed above, NONE of that is good for you. It means he wants his cake & to eat it to. He gets what he wants out of YOU w/out a relationship, he's using you.

What do you get out of this? More heartache? More thinking that you 2 MIGHT get back together? It's not right.

Playing hard to get hardly ever works because it's too hard on the person that still cares very deeply. Not only that, why play the same type of game that is he playing on you hun.

Best advice I can still give you is to cut all communication off w/him.
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

even not going to his sermon in may? everything that i typed and think is all assumption. Do you think i should ask him about everything before i cut communication off?
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

btw....i just called him because there was some army stuff of his that was in my dorm still ( I'm in the process of moving out). I called, trying to be strong just asking about the stuff-if i should throw it away or what. He answered by saying what's up, not hello. I questioned if i was bothering him because he did the same thing this pass friday. He promised that he didn't have an attitude. He constantly asked how way my day and i continued to ignore him and go straight to the point. I was about to hang up the phone and he was asking, did you not hear me? how was your day? and i answered. he said how was your weekend and if i was done with classes. His church members tell me that his behavior has been increasingly weird. Everything that i have said on this particular forum is everything my friends say. I'm torn because i'm trying to be this ass to him only by assumption, not really knowing if he's using me or just trying to be nice despite the situation. So confused. my feelings and my friends are pulling me in different ways. When i talk to my friends, i'm able to think of him as a bastard for several days, and when that wears off, that's when i think of possibly being back with him again. So fucking confusing. sorry for the language.
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 1:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh ok, since you are getting this information second hand, it would be a good idea to have a talk w/him. See what's going on first & then go from there whether or not you want to continue communication, play hard to get or possibly start over again w/him.
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Brandon
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whatever you do. Best of luck to you ! Very Happy
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missmeg29
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 5:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank u guys! love yall! Smile
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~Angel~
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your welcome!

Best of luck to you! Smile
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