Actually,
it’s pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every man is a
secret wish to be trusted. How many times have men said to their
wives, “If you would just trust me.” Many men wonder why it
seems so difficult for their wives to do something so seemingly
simple. The answer stems from the physiological differences
between the sexes.
It begins
at birth when little boys are given a distinct physical advantage
over little girls by having higher levels of testosterone. With
testosterone comes the physical strength to both defend themselves
from danger and/or run away from a threat. Most little girls
don’t have that ability. They don’t have the strength to defend
themselves in a physically fight when they feel threatened.
If a boy trusts someone who in turn hurts them, they can always
defend themselves physically (or try to). Little girls don’t
have that physical option of power. Since a person can only
trust from a position of strength, those same little girls will
grow up into women who naturally have a more difficult time
“trusting” when they feel vulnerable.
So men,
when you ask the woman of your choice to simply “trust you,”
it’s not that she can’t, she’s just more vulnerable than you.
If you want her to trust you, she needs something that will
help develop that trust.
Perhaps
even a tool or gesture that she can “count on ” until that trust
with you is established. Thankfully this tool already exist
and is known every woman. What cultivates trust in a woman is
a man who consistently keeps his word. Making a promise is meaningless
if there is no follow through.
A woman
needs to SEE her man fulfill his promises because seeing is
always more powerful than hearing. Allow me to illustrate. Imagine
someone told you that I was the meanest person they had ever
met. For months all you heard was how terrible I treated my
family and friends. Then one day you met me and during the course
of our meeting you begin to notice that I didn’t seem to be
as horrible as you were led to believe. I actually appeared
to be rather pleasant. Would you change your entire opinion
about me from one visit? Probably not! However, if you saw me
respond consistently with kindness and humility over a period
of weeks, your opinion of me would begin to change. A paradox
has just been established. The kindness you have seen in me
for the last few weeks does not match what you have heard about
me. All the rumors of how mean I am begin to fade into darkness
because of my consistent actions. Over time what you see will
replace most if not all of your concerns about my character.
Men, when
the woman you love sees your words lining up with your actions,
trust will naturally follow. When you don’t keep your word it
causes your wife/girlfriend to become fearful. From her perspective,
she has entrusted you with her Heart and WANTS to trust you.
She simply needs your help in giving you what you want.