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10 Dating-Relationship Mistakes
by:
Alan R. Stafford
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10 Dating-Relationship Mistakes
The 7 Killer
Dating Mistakes
In your search
for a great relationship, you shouldn’t just leave things to luck.
There are many things that you can do that can enhance your dating
experience. Unfortunately, though, there are also an awful lot of
things that you can do to make sure that you’re a dating flop.
The following
are the most common mistakes made by daters. Take the time to read
and learn them so that you won’t make these mistakes too.
• The False
Front – though it is important to look good when you’re dating,
remember that you should always be realistic. If you do meet someone
you like, you will be seeing that person a lot. In that case, you
won’t be spending several hours getting ready every time. There
is a difference between looking nice, and setting your date up for
disillusionment. When you get ready, remember to be yourself. Look
your best, look good, but make sure that it’s you in there! No false
fronts.
• Availability
– when you’re dating, it’s important to make yourself available
when you find someone you like. After all, you’ve gone to an awful
lot of effort to find a person who may qualify for a relationship.
That person won’t stick around forever if you don’t put in some
effort.
• Realistic
Fun – relationships are often a lot of fun when they first get started.
Everything is so fresh, exciting, and new. However, it doesn’t take
long to discover that fun can only go so far. Make sure that you
have other things in common, such as goals and values, if you want
something long-term. Other than fun, you need to keep your eyes
open for companionship, respect, love, and commitment. With those
characteristics, you’re bound to have fun and a great relationship.
• Perfectionism
– we all have our own fantasies about the right person. After building
up this fictional Mr. or Ms. Right for so long, it can be hard to
let a real person in. After all, real people are flawed. There is
nothing wrong with having a dream. Just don’t let your dream block
out a perfectly good person for a great relationship. Remember that
it is our quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us special. Instead
of rejecting them, treasure them when they come in a great person.
• Immediacy
– a relationship isn’t something that happens instantly. Though
you may want a relationship immediately, unless you give it time
to grow, you’ll only be disappointed. Give yourself the opportunity
to meet people, get to know people, like people, and find the right
person. By rushing into a relationship, you’re setting up for a
fall.
• Needs – though
love is very important in a relationship, there is a lot more to
it than just one emotion. The Beatles song “All You Need is Love”
is sweet, but isn’t the key to a long-term relationship. You (and
your partner) have many needs, and they all need to be met for things
to work. Love is only one of those needs. You also need to remember
responsibility, appreciation, trust, intimacy, and many other important
factors.
• Time – one
of the hardest things to admit to yourself is that a person you’ve
been seeing for a long time isn’t the person for you. You may have
known it from the start of the relationship, but didn’t want to
hurt any feelings. The thing is, the longer you wait, the harder
it will be. While you’re dating, you’re testing out different people
to find the right one for you. If you discover that you’re with
the wrong person, the best thing you can do is stop. It’s only fair
to yourself and to your partner.
By avoiding
these most common mistakes, you’ll be much more certain to have
a happy relationship. It will meet your needs and those of your
partner. It will also last much longer, and through many more obstacles.
Happy dating.
Copyright
©2006 Alan R. Stafford
About The
Author
Dr.
Stafford is a speaker, writer, class leader, and personal coach
on topics important to Singles and Couples. As a relationship coach
he helps men and women of all ages find the love of their lives
and lives that they love. If you're tired of being alone, or worry
you're with the wrong person, call or email Alan for a no cost introductory
coaching call to see how personal coaching can benefit you.
alan@relationshipexperts.com
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